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STD - Invitation confusion

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#1 RonNMel

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    Posted 19 November 2009 - 12:01 AM

    Need some help.

    I haven't been to many weddings and before last year I did not even know Save The Date existed.

    I *think* I've gathered that you send Save The Date to everyone you want to invite about a year before. The guests have nothing to do, no need to reply to you. Then a few months before the wedding you send the actual invitations with a RSVP date. Do I have it right so far?

    Here is where I get very confused. With a DW, you can't really send the official invite only a few months prior, you need to do that much earlier so that the guests can book their trip. Would the booking be sent with the formal invitation, and then Save The Dates would be sent even before just as a heads up to guests to start and save money? Or would the booking info be included with the Save The Date, then a formal invitation would be sent only to those who books a couple of months before the wedding to *remind* them? But then, do you send a third thing before all of that to tell them to save money? Or do you do that by word of mouth?

    My DW is in May of 2011 and we can only start booking in April 2010. the thing is, we have a fairly large guest list and I'm pretty sure a lot of them won't be able to come. So I kinda want to ask them before April if they *think* they will come, just so I make a fairly good estimate of how many seats/rooms I need to block.

    So I guess after all this rambling (sorry if it's a mess, but it's kinda of a mess in my head in the first place. LOL) my question is: What should I send and when?

    #2 pinayflava

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    • 193 posts

      Posted 19 November 2009 - 12:13 AM

      hmm good question..i am currently in the process of doing STD's and since my wedding date is November 12 2010 and rates wont be up til January 2010, we are just putting our wedding website info on the STD so people can check the updates in regards to wedding events and travel and accomodations. I am sending my STD's hopefully before christmas and then the real invitations in May 2010.

      #3 carolina24

      • Sr. Member
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        Posted 19 November 2009 - 12:32 AM

        I actually sent my STDs today :) Our wedding is Sept 24 2010 and I am sending the invitations March 1st and having the RSVP due Aug 1st. It's hard with a DW. You kind of have to evaluate your group. We let the word out once we got engaged that it would be a DW (this was in July) and started getting feed back from everyone. Our STDs have our wedding website (which I definately recommend taking the time to do) and people can RSVP through that if they want.
        So you could have a link that lets them RSVP, that way you don't have to wait till you get response cards. Unfortunaly, I don't think you'll have a good estimate until after April (when you can actually start booking). We did our website through weddingwire.com. It was easier than others I tried, everything is step by step--and it's free!!
        Good luck!!!

        #4 shortnsweet7675

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        • 483 posts

          Posted 19 November 2009 - 01:30 AM

          I’d never heard of using save-the-dates for weddings until I joined this site. This is what I have done… Since we got engaged in August of this year and planned for a cruise wedding in April 2010, we sent out save-the-date mailings in September of this year. We sent the save-the-date mailing to all of the people that we intended to invite. We wanted to get save-the-dates out early enough so that our guests would have enough time to plan and save for their travel. In this mailing we included, a cover letter, a save-the-date magnet, information regarding the cruise (i.e., cruise pricing, deposit deadline, travel agent contact), and a preliminary RSVP postcard (to get an estimated headcount of our guests). Here is a link to my thread on my save –the-dates with pictures http://bestdestinati....e-dates-49301/.

          If you have a group of computer savvy guests, you may get by with an email save-the-date with a link to your wedding website. In my case, I knew a lot of my family members were not very computer savvy (in fact, a lot of them have not even looked at our website), so it was best to mail them the information. Like someone said in a previous post, you can include an RSVP section on your website. You can check out my website (link in my siggy) for ideas.

          I plan to send out formal invitations in January 2010 to all of those that RSVP’d “yes” to the preliminary RSVP and probably to those that did not RSVP at all. But, I will not be sending formal invites to those that have told us that they definitely cannot make it. I will also include an RSVP card with the formal invites, mostly to collect information (like driver’s license numbers, etc.) that the cruise line requires for all of our wedding guests and also to reconfirm their attendance. Hope this helps!

          #5 stevensFiance

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            Posted 19 November 2009 - 01:57 PM

            its truthfully up to you, from what I did and what ive seen. I sent out my STD in Sept 08, a few months after we got engaged, only they were more of an announcement then a STD. Unless you are absolutely positive on the date and resort I wouldnt include any information w/ the STD, plans change you know? As far as invitations for a DW, they SHOULD be sent out atleast 6 months prior. On my rsvp card, I asked for them to fill out which resort they will be staying at and what day they would be arriving, along with a hotel insert. This way I wont have to hound my guest 45 days prior to the wedding for further information. Good luck.
            He asked, I said YES!!! 1 <3 21 <3 04 - 5 <3 13 <3 08

            #6 RonNMel

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              Posted 22 November 2009 - 12:58 PM

              Thanks everyone. I'm still just as confused though. LOL Part of me likes the idea of sending a formal invitation to all who have replied yes (and those who have yet to book) a few months before, as a reminder. But part of me thinks it's a bit of overkill, and mostly a waste of money (we are on a tight budget). If they have already booked, then of course they are invited, so why invite them again??

              I think what we will do is set up our wedding website sometimes this winter, as well as possibly a facebook event page, with general information (like the country and month of the wedding). We'll email this to everyone, and ask for people to spread the word of mouth to those without the internet (though most people already know the general details, thanks to my FMIL. She's so excited about this.) So that would be sort of an informal STD.

              Then once we book with the agent we'll send out the formal invitations with booking info, as well as a link to our website. We'll email or speak to those who have yet to book once we get close to the cut-off date. We can use our facebook event page to send reminders to people that our wedding is coming up. :)

              Now I have to figure out when to give the OOT bags, a week or two before or at the airport (don't want to bring them all with me over there. Haha)

              #7 IrishgirlinNY

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                Posted 22 November 2009 - 01:18 PM

                I am also planning on a May 2011 wedding. I cant book anything til March 2010. I was planning, in my head, to send out STDs in May 2010. That gives them a years notice and the actual invitations in early November 2010 prior to all the holidays. I am inviting everyone I would that would be invited if we got married here in NY. I pretty ,much know who is coming and who isnt. I actually was planning on sending STDs to all of them and invitations to all. Good luck!

                #8 jamk32179

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                • 341 posts

                  Posted 29 November 2009 - 11:42 PM

                  I hope to send my STD's out by the end of this year for a Sept. 2010 wedding. We are including our website and will post all information on that site. Our friends did it that way and it seemed to work well for them. They would send out monthly reminders to everyone as well. We are paying for our wedding, so if I can save on not sending out formal invites I will!
                  September 18, 2010- The Royal Playa del Carmen31 Guests RSVP'd including the Bride and Groom

                  #9 mlabbe

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                    Posted 30 November 2009 - 12:27 AM

                    We're sending our STD now (a bit later than i wanted) and the invites later, about 3 months prior to the wedding. We have included with the STD the booking details, so this way people can start booking right away. When we send our invites, we'll include the booking info again (just in case) and other info like activities, etc. We also did a wedding blog to keep everyone in the loop.

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