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MOH who says shes coming but still no response..


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#1 purpleshells

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    Posted 15 November 2009 - 08:36 PM

    ok,im really confused....

    I had asked my friend 3 months ago to be my MOH, after her telling me she was def. coming to Cuba, she was super excited couldnt wait to come.

    Now....one month after deposit deadline and with only 3 seats left on our plane with our group rate.....no responses from her anymore...

    I have known her for like 7 yrs now..donno what the hell is up..

    it all began a few weeks ago, she told me she was coming to our halloween party, and she never came...or called...saw on facebook 2 days earlier that she was sick so I assumed she was sick...right? next thing I know..theres full of party pics of her on facebook partying it out in a club at a halloween party...that was odd..but didnt really bug me..thought...well maybe she felt bad,didnt know how to tell me.....who knows,still figured she could have told me so I texted her just saying "hey i thot u were gonna come to our party what happened?" no response..........

    a week later, deposit deadling now overdue by a week..i thought maybe she feels ackward and cannot afford it..so let me make her feel comfy and let her know that if she cannot make it afterall that it is fine........no response......

    one week later; she messages me; sorry ive had a cold i will call you tonight
    no call...no msg...nothing


    what the f*** is going on

    the way i see it,i dont have a MOH or a friend anymore.....

    thoughts??

    #2 IrishgirlinNY

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      Posted 15 November 2009 - 08:52 PM

      All you can do is try to contact her, which is what you have done. Obviously something is going on. She has been your friend for 7 years. Do you know anything about her financial situation? I have one friend (I have known her for 12 years) that I originally was going to ask to be a bridesmaid in my wedding. She is a single woman, living on her own and struggling just to get by. She has continually told me that she is coming to my wedding and I know she most likely can't. I did not ask her to be a bridesmaid yet. I didn't want to put more pressure on her for her to come. You seem to have tried many ways to reach out to her with no response. I would definitely try calling her again, it is a 7 year friendship you have had. I wouldn't dwell on it much more after you reach out. There isn't much more you can do. Good luck!

      #3 purpleshells

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        Posted 15 November 2009 - 09:02 PM

        she lives at home with her parents..works part time and goes to school...

        but she did all this before saying yes...and she told me she would be fine..financially..i regret asking her to be my MOH...i took her off my guest list on our wedsite....

        ive called..she doesnt answer...and on msn she doesnt reply..

        #4 IrishgirlinNY

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          Posted 15 November 2009 - 09:09 PM

          With her situation that you said, it would seem that affording the trip would be possible. She is obviously avoiding you for some reason. It has got to be a hard situation to be in, especially for knowing her for so long. Do you have any mutual friends that have spoken to her about your wedding? Maybe she has confided in another friend about why she hasn't spoken to you.

          #5 A2Bride

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            Posted 15 November 2009 - 09:21 PM

            Oh no....I am sorry!! There is obviously something going on with her. I would try to contact her or ask her to meet for lunch or a drink. I know that times are hard now, but that shouldn't be the reason you have not heard from her. That is a long friendship to end...especially since you do not know the reason.

            I would totally try to contact her again, not mentioning the wedding...just to meet for drinks or something. That way you can find out what is going on in her life and talk about things. Good luck and let us know how it goes!

            #6 pjlisa

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              Posted 16 November 2009 - 12:29 AM

              I know how you feel, my best friend said she was coming for sure and was supposed to be my MOH......all of a sudden and out of nowhere, she's not coming. I think it's her husband that is saying no. But she's acting all weird towards me now.

              #7 trobin01

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                Posted 16 November 2009 - 12:52 AM

                How Brutal! I think gently trying to find out what is going on through mutual friends is a good idea. If she can't come she probably feels really bad about it and doesn't want to let you down- so she's avoiding you. Obviously not any better for you, but I would imagine that could be it.
                I hope it all works out. Weddings have a way of helping us figure out what (and who) matters.

                #8 Jennyco116

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                  Posted 16 November 2009 - 02:28 AM

                  She sounds like my "former" best friend. When I became pregnant with my daughter she was right there telling me how excited she was and how she couldn't wait to spoil her. All of a sudden towards the end of my pregnancy she backed off and didn't even show up to my baby shower. I forgave her and moved on but time after time she would back out of "best friend" situations.... which to make a long story short, it was all out of jealously. She is a major DRAMA QUEEN and creates the drama herself but I have always been there as her voice of reason so when I got pregnant she told me that she was jealous of my stability....Once again making the situation all about her. I still talk to her but I have to love her from afar. I am curious to know if your friend has a husband/fiance?

                  #9 sunstarsmoon

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                    Posted 16 November 2009 - 10:22 AM

                    I have been there. When I first told my best friend, that we were planning destination wedding, she assumed the role of MOH and informed me that no matter what she will be there. Well long story short, she is not coming, but is planning on spending 2 months in Florida in a few weeks. HMMM she can afford to go to Florida for 2 months but not the wedding which is a year away that she assumed the role of MOH.

                    So I know how you feel. I would contact her and ask her if she is able to come.
                    July 8, 2011, Couples Sans Souci Ocho Rios, Jamaica

                    #10 becks

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                    Posted 16 November 2009 - 10:39 AM

                    I'm so sorry you're dealing with it. That's tough to go through.

                    Personally, I would assume that for one reason or another, she's not going to make it to your wedding. But I wouldn't read into it. Chances are that there's some reason and it just won't work out. She's probably hiding from you because she feels badly and doesn't want to have to tell you. Best bet at this point is to promote one of your BMs.

                    So, the question is whether her inability to attend is enough reason to break off your friendship. Good friends are hard to come by, but bad friends are found everywhere. I can't possibly know which camp she's in at the moment, but maybe just let things be for a while and see if you can rekindle your friendship when the pressure around the wedding is off.

                    Good luck!

                    Happily married since 2008

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