Biggest Destination Wedding Stress factor - what's yours?

[carolina24]

Quote:

Originally Posted by JNL2011 So far, the biggest stress factory is picking a resort that is going to be beautiful and that doesnt cost everyone a arm and a leg to go. The date is till far away so im sure ill have many stress factors. But very glad to have this site to not feel so alone.

I was really stressed about that at first too, but I figured since I was giving people a year's notice, they could budget or decide to stay at a different resort. Plus I remind them that its all-inclusive so really they're getting a great deal.

[amandalsu]

What hasn't been a huge stress! I wanted a destination wedding because I didn't want to have to plan a wedding. Now I have learned, it instead have to plan a vacation for everyone. We are doing a private villa so everyone else is on their own for what they book but these highly capable people all of the sudden are incapable of using the internet to book anything. I have given them plenty of information and websites but they all want me to do everything for them. It is really hard to firm up a lot of things without a head count, and I feel you can't count anyone until they are booked.

 

And my Dad keeps inviting his friends. These are people I have not seen in the last 10 years. We aren't even inviting all our close friends that we want to keep the wedding small but he thinks he should be able to invite all these other people. He is driving me nuts!

 

My other issue is trying to decide between the beach and villa terrace for the wedding. I really want it on the beach, but we have family members that are going to have really difficult time getting down the steps and walking through the sand. I have been spending an ungodly amount of hours researching other options and easier ways to get down to the beach. That was one of the few things I really wanted. One of the people is his mom though, so I think I am going to have to give in on this one.

[Jennybell1]

I think my biggest stress is the money. Trying to get it everything I want in the budget we have set. Plus Im paying for all of it. He is paying for the rings and I get the wedding costs bc Im the one that wants the wedding. He would be happy if we just stayed common law forever, but thats just not me. So he has agreed to the whole wedding thing, but Im paying for it. Now I know some of you are shaking your heads and thinking that you wouldnt put up with that...but I really dont mind. He is marrying me bc he loves me and he knows its important to me. And he is buying the rings I want so I figure we are basically even in the cost portion of this. All that matters to me is that he wants to marry me bc he loves me and he knows that I really want this, he is doing this for me. BC really what guy ever REALLY wants to get married?? Most of my guy friends all say the same thing that the only reason they propose is bc they love their girlfriends and they know that marriage is important to them, that and the fact that it is expected socially. I know some guys really do want to get married, but from what I have heard from many other brides, patients and my guy friends, is just that.

So if I could win the lotto I would be great, but I dont think that is going to happen any time soon.....lol

[silverangel]

My biggest stress has been uninvited guests! It amazes me how many people have tried to invite themselves. It has been hard explaining to people that it is just family and very close friends.

[indy_chic]

Quote:

Originally Posted by jenninjamaica My biggest stress so far is hoping that everyone will be able to afford the trip. We have paid the deposits, but until everyone pays in full by March, I won't be able to be stress-free. Its just a small group, but its our close family and friends, so I'd hate for any of them to not be there!

This is my stress - we're planning a DW in less than 6 months, we just confirmed our details and have paid deposits. Invitations have still to go out....Balances have to be paid by beg. of Feb. By the time they receive the invites they may have about 2.5 months to pay. I hope this is not a determining factor for our guests

[indy_chic]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jennybell1 I think my biggest stress is the money. Trying to get it everything I want in the budget we have set. Plus Im paying for all of it. He is paying for the rings and I get the wedding costs bc Im the one that wants the wedding. He would be happy if we just stayed common law forever, but thats just not me. So he has agreed to the whole wedding thing, but Im paying for it. Now I know some of you are shaking your heads and thinking that you wouldnt put up with that...but I really dont mind. He is marrying me bc he loves me and he knows its important to me. And he is buying the rings I want so I figure we are basically even in the cost portion of this. All that matters to me is that he wants to marry me bc he loves me and he knows that I really want this, he is doing this for me. BC really what guy ever REALLY wants to get married?? Most of my guy friends all say the same thing that the only reason they propose is bc they love their girlfriends and they know that marriage is important to them, that and the fact that it is expected socially. I know some guys really do want to get married, but from what I have heard from many other brides, patients and my guy friends, is just that. So if I could win the lotto I would be great, but I dont think that is going to happen any time soon.....lol

You still have lotsa time to save....AND win the lottery

[A2Bride]

My biggest stress right now is between money (our budget or lack there of) and getting people booking. My FH has 2 teenage boys and we are going to be there before they come down and stay longer than they will be there. And to top it off, max capacity per room is 3. So we are trying to figure out how to get them there and who to room with...blah blah blah.

 

i would say the best advice is to do what we want, we keep reminding ourselves that as long as we are there we are happy. I keep worrying about how many others will come, just sit back, relax and remember it is about becoming husband and wife!!

[carolina24]

Quote:

Originally Posted by silverangel My biggest stress has been uninvited guests! It amazes me how many people have tried to invite themselves. It has been hard explaining to people that it is just family and very close friends.

AMEN!!!!! I can't believe how many people assume that they are invited. I get asked constantly, "so when/how do we book the resort". What are you talking about---YOU ARE NOT INVITED!!!

[SheriB]

Okay so my FI and I knew right away that we both wanted a DW. we are not spotlight kind of people and have been to so many traditional weddings around here that we knew we didn't want the "same old". So we get to work on it thinking that our parents may have a little problem with it having never been to one. We explain what the deal is - small DW and then a AHR and they seem okay with it. Then I find myself looking at banquet halls & hotels, researching caterers, talking about receiving lines & head tables and suddenly I am getting super stressed. I realize that even though the actual marriage is different, the rest of the wedding is going to be exactly the same once we get home - the typical Alberta hall reception that I didn't want to have. And $10000 for this AHR that is suddenly stressing me out!! So I sit down with FI and re-evaluate. Thanks to this forum I was able to learn that many couples do their AHR months later so even if we were to do the wedding in Nov like we want, we could still do a big bbq party at our home afterwards next July. Then we have more money to spend on making it an amazing wedding down south and inviting a few more people. And for less than half the orginal AHR budget we can throw an amazing party here at the farm with camping over night and a pancake breakfast in the morning. SO much more our style!!

 

But now onto the next stress factor... my parents were totally on board with the traditional reception and are proving very reluctant to support this new idea... I see much explaining in my future to get them to see it is what we want!

[SusieQ]

My biggest stress factor is making sure all the details are covered and worry about other people.... FI is very laid back and doesn't worry about anything....

 

PS not sure which bride made the comment most men are not into the getting married thing.... Mine actually is... We were living together for just over a year and he asked me to marry him..I was fine with just living together... he really felt we should get married and has done his share in the planning process.... Sometimes I laugh with the DIY projects because he is right in there sticking labels and making sure things look 100%....