My situation isn't quite the same as yours, but I understand your problem. I'm not close to my dad either (though he is still married to my mom) and I nixed the father-daughter dance (which offended him a bit too) and am having both my parents walk with me.
I agree that you can't really have 3 people walk you down the aisle, so just a personal opinion but I think you made the right choice. If your dad is the traditional type where he thinks its the father's role to walk his daughter down the aisle, then I think you should talk to him sooner and explain that you want to do things a bit untraditionally just because of your mom's importance to you. If he's not traditional, then give him a little bit of time to see if he brings it up again... and if not, then you should. Either way, it is your decision, so I dont think you need permission to do what feels right for you.
Originally Posted by Canadiansandy
Well, since we're now considered a 'chit chat' thread, here goes!
I'm in a bit of a dilemma right now with the whole father giving the bride away. My parents have been divorced since I was 2, and I was raised primary by my mom. I did see my dad fairly often growing up, and I still speak with him regularly (he lives in the States), but I'm nowhere near as close to him as I am with my mom. My mom re-married 10 yrs ago, and I'm quite close with my step-father. So I was struggling with who would walk me down the aisle - I can't very well have all 3 parents! So I decided on my mom, she's who I really want there at my side because I feel like she's the only one who can 'give me away'. So tonight I told my dad that I wanted her to play a bigger role in the wedding than moms traditionally do, and have her walk me down the aisle. But that I'd still have the father-daughter dance and all that. I think I really hurt his feelings, and he said he'd need to think about it, as though...I'd asked for his permission. Now I'm wondering how hurt he is, did I ruin some lifelong dream of his - and also, does he think he can say yes or no to whether this happens? I haven't told my mom yet, but I'm dying to.
How do you think I should handle this with my dad? Should I bring it up again, or let him bring it up when he's ready (if ever)? Should I go ahead and speak with my mom about all this?
I know this is a personal decision and situation, but I just feel like you ladies might understand