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Bridesmaid financial issue

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#1 Jogsbride

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    Posted 17 September 2009 - 11:24 PM

    One of my BFs has been laid off and out of work for 6 months. I am sure she will have a job by the time my wedding happens in May. But right now she is very stressed about money. I want to ask her to be a bridesmaid but with the disclaimer that is she is not comfortable financially, she can say no and I will understand. (plus, we are having a destinatin wedding) Do I give her the option to say no or let her tell me she can or can't? I want her to know I am sincere in wanting her to part of the wedding but I want to be sensitive to her situation.


    #2 *Nadine*

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      Posted 17 September 2009 - 11:32 PM

      I think you just go ahead and ask her and if she wants to say no, or is concerned, she will talk to you. She can still be a bridesmaid and participate in all the other things that bridesmaids help out with, but just not come to the wedding. I am sure, since she is one of your bffs, she knows how you are and knows you are sensitive to her situation. Then again, you also know her best and know how she would better handle it (i.e you giving her an option to say no or not)

      #3 amygirl1169

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        Posted 17 September 2009 - 11:36 PM

        Just be honest and say that you would be honored if she would stand as your bridesmaid, but completely understand if she cannot financially do it.
        Maybe she'd still like to act as your bridesmaid in all other ways/events even if she won't be there on the actual day!

        Good luck to you, we've all been there!

        #4 tracyann

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        • 189 posts

          Posted 18 September 2009 - 09:36 AM

          I was in the same sort of spot- one of my bridesmaid's isn't in a great financial position-when I asked her I told her I would love for her to be with us, BUT I completely understood if she couldn't make it, it was up to her to decide. I didn't want her to feel like she had to put herself in a bad position, if she said yes. Right now we are planning on her coming, but if it turns out she can't she knows I understand why.

          #5 blumenthale

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          • 242 posts

            Posted 18 September 2009 - 03:48 PM

            Be honest. Let her make the choice, and tell her it's no pressure.

            #6 itsfinallyhere

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              Posted 18 September 2009 - 04:02 PM

              You should ask her. How would you feel if she were getting married and didn't ask you (because of financial difficluties). By asking her to do this, you are showing her how important her friendship is to you. And because you care so much, of course you would understand that because of things beyond her control she is unable to make it. It will mean a lot to be asked.

              #7 mswhatever

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              • 475 posts

                Posted 18 September 2009 - 04:20 PM

                I would ask her. If she can't, she will still know she was your first choice. I think it will make her feel good.

                #8 Jogsbride

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                  Posted 18 September 2009 - 08:29 PM

                  Thanks everyone!

                  #9 angruck

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                  • 248 posts

                    Posted 18 September 2009 - 10:55 PM

                    i agree, definitely ask your friend anyways, leave it up to her. It will just make the situation better because it would be her choice.
                    Angela & Chris

                    #10 islandbride317

                    • Sr. Member
                    • 1,866 posts

                      Posted 19 September 2009 - 02:38 AM

                      Ok...so here is my take on the situation:

                      This is why I didn't have bridesmaids. I felt that it was already enough to ask those that we love to come to our DW, and we couldn't ask them to spend additional money on dresses, etc. to be in our bridal party. Neither he, nor I, will have a best man, maid/matron of honor, groomsmen, bridesmaids, etc.

                      I, personally, thought that would be too much, regardless of the economic crisis we all now find ourselves in. John & I can't pay for their additional fees, so
                      HOW should we expect them to come up with the money themselves? Just not fair...

                      SO SORRY to hear of your troubles.....hoping things work out all right!

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