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Are your FI's parents contributing?


michelle6114

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  • 7 months later...

FI parents are well off (though they don't flaunt it), so they have offered to give us $10,000 towards the wedding. This is awesome because FI is in school right now so he's barely able to cover his own bills, and I'll trying to save up $5,000. The only problem is FFIL's company doesn't seem to be doing that well, so while they said they'd be able to give us $2000 every few weeks until we had it all, we've only received one payment and they're working on the rest. I really hope they can follow through because otherwise we're a bit screwed. :S

 

My own parents are so broke so while they say they want to help out, I don't count on any money from them. Actually, I plan on having to pay for them to attend my wedding. Ah, families and money...

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So funny to read my previous comment from one year ago. Not much difference does time make. My fiancé's mom hasn't offered anything, but she also hasn't gotten in the way. She has told us to tell her what she should do. This is pretty much hard for me. But we are going to ask her to take FI's son to and from the wedding and she is also collecting and storing all of the gifts at her house until out remodel is done. My parents on the other hand have not contributed financially. They have made offers to help on which they have had to renege. Since we weren't expecting help in the beginning that's been ok, but what ha sucked has been there pressure to invite more of my nor'easter family and friends. Luckily the outside support has continued. From both of or extends family and friends. We now have a photographer, videographer, and flowers for bridal party. I wish I had more immediate family support (and less grief), but I'm happy for the support I have.

Who pays for what is really tricky. There is what tradition dictates and there is what makes sense for the couple. My fiance and I decided that we would pay for our wedding ourselves in part because I did not want the wedding that my parents could afford to give to me and in part because I thought asking my FI's parents to shell out for a second wedding for my fiance would be unfair. Because of our fixed budget and what we prioritized (number of guests, great food and alcohol in taste and variety, great venue, and coordinator), there are many things that we will not be able to afford (professional photography, professional videography, new wedding bands, bouquets for bridesmaids and boutonnieres for groomsmen). Like so many of the families of the ladies on this board, my family knows that we are paying for this ourselves and has begun to make offers to help how they can. For example, my mom has offered her wedding dress, my sister has offered us her time share for our honeymoon, and my uncle has offered us his home for our welcome/rehearsal dinner/party. We are so grateful for these offers. Our wedding is not for a year yet, but I'm interested to see whether my FI mother will offer anything. We are not expecting anything from anyone, but I think her offering something/anything would be a nice sentiment that would show that she's interested in helping to make this a happy event for us. As my dad would say, "Put your money where your mouth is".
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  • 5 weeks later...

My fiancé and i had been engaged for about a year before we decided to have a DW. When we first announce to his mom that we were actually going to start planning our wedding, she immediately said " I hope you dont expect anything from me. I'm retired and my funds aren't the same". I was annoyed because for one we never asked her anything. Two, she blows her money on frivolous things. But the part that really got me was that she told me that she needs to be involved in the planning process and I have to email her all the details. I said "okay" with a smile and never emailed her anything. So to answer your question, no, my fi parent's will not be contributing to the wedding costs. I kind of like it that way anyway!

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  • 2 weeks later...

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