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Question, is it just the two of you or a family affair?


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#1 MKRN

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    Posted 15 September 2009 - 06:18 PM

    I am really torn between it just being the two of us and making it a family and very close friends thing.

    I love the idea of it between just the two of us, because it is so much more private and intimate. Also, it will be much cheaper. I don't think our families will be too happy if we leave them out of the big day, but on the other hand they aren't contributing much. In no shape of form do I think they are obligated, but at the same time the fiance and I in these current economic times can't really foot the bill either.

    So what are you going, it is it a couples only thing or are you making it a family affair?

    #2 AmyandRich

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      Posted 15 September 2009 - 06:50 PM

      I am inviting family - immediate family !! I am not paying for their trip though. I promised to not be the least bit offended if someone can't make it because of the costs. If you keep your guest list small, you may be able to take advantage of free wedding packages at some of the resorts.

      #3 Moonrhea

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        Posted 15 September 2009 - 06:54 PM

        We're making it a family affair. I'm very close to my family sto I'm glad they will be there. However we're only paying for ourselves and my FI two boys.

        #4 MKRN

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          Posted 15 September 2009 - 06:55 PM

          We would only invite immediate family and a couple of friends. This is the package we were looking into:

          Excellence of Love Wedding Package

          Services of the Judge (legal) or Minister (non-legal)
          Wedding organization and personalization of our wedding coordinator
          Preferential location of the room in the category reserved
          Preparation and ironing of the wedding dress and grooms tuxedo/suit
          Complimentary suite for the groom the night before the wedding (based on availability)
          Use of the wedding gazebo or beach location
          Bride’s bouquet
          4 boutonnieres/corsages for bride, groom and witnesses
          Wedding cake for 20 people
          One bottle of sparkling wine
          Special turn down service
          15% discount on all spa treatments (product purchases not included)
          Honeymoon Package
          Late checkout for bride and groom (based on availability)
          Special Silver Wedding Dinner (maximum of 20 people)
          Natural floral centerpiece for dinner table
          One hour Silver Cocktail with hors d’oeuvres for 20 people
          24 full color photos (5x7)
          Bride’s hairstyling for ceremony
          Make-up application for the bride

          #5 Destination Scout

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            Posted 15 September 2009 - 07:09 PM

            We did a very small friend's and family group. It was great to have the people that joined us. They really made it a wonderful experience. We didn't fund their trip though and we made it clear that we completely understood if someone couldn't make it. We had an AHR for those that couldn't come.

            #6 SandalGirl

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              Posted 15 September 2009 - 08:37 PM

              We invited most of our friends and family, and ended up with almost 30 attending. Because of the cost, time of year, etc, lots couldn't come - which we anticipated :) We're having an an home BBQ/celebration when we get back.
              March 4, 2010 ~ Mayan Riviera, Mexico
              http://robynplanningbio.weebly.com/

              #7 brandynd

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                Posted 15 September 2009 - 09:48 PM

                We're doing immediate family and members of the wedding party only. This way it will still be intimate and we'll have plenty of time with our guests!
                There is no better gift that can be given than the gift of ones self.

                #8 indy_chic

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                  Posted 15 September 2009 - 10:17 PM

                  Sigh............. I've been engaged for 6 months now !! I do not have a date , I do not have a venue. I'm very disappointed in friends/family


                  We've considered going away , just the 2 of us. But then thought it would be nice to have close family, friends. I feel guilty not having at least our parents there. I've also asked my bridesmaids to participate (already) and feel bad if I didn't invite them.

                  I've been between a destination wedding and a local wedding for the entire 6 months.
                  Not a day goes by that I don't commit to at least 2-3 hours /day (after working a full day) researching different ideas.

                  Although we'd like to have a wedding here, we'd rather put the cost of a wedding toward a new home and can't justify spending $30,000 on a wedding at this time in our lives. I know, I know , we'll probably get it back BUT what if we don't. Sooo we started looking at destination weddings. I was trying to find a resort that was "reasonable" in price but still had all the amenities to offer. I "introduced" the idea to close friends/family and some of them have expressed that due to finances they cannot attend should we decide to go away. These were the very same people that encouraged us to go away.


                  Everyone keeps saying "it's your day, do it your way" , of course I want all of our friends/family share in our day - I know I'm not going to please everyone I just never knew it would be hard.

                  So we're thinking again about doing something ALONE -without all the added stress.

                  #9 alkoch

                  alkoch
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                    Posted 15 September 2009 - 10:38 PM

                    we are inviting 300 people to ours but expecting only a small amount to come. Our attitude is to invite everyone and if they can't come no biggie. Good luck!

                    #10 SSNM

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                      Posted 16 September 2009 - 01:18 AM

                      Quote:
                      Originally Posted by indy_chic
                      Sigh............. I've been engaged for 6 months now !! I do not have a date , I do not have a venue. I'm very disappointed in friends/family


                      We've considered going away , just the 2 of us. But then thought it would be nice to have close family, friends. I feel guilty not having at least our parents there. I've also asked my bridesmaids to participate (already) and feel bad if I didn't invite them.

                      I've been between a destination wedding and a local wedding for the entire 6 months.
                      Not a day goes by that I don't commit to at least 2-3 hours /day (after working a full day) researching different ideas.

                      Although we'd like to have a wedding here, we'd rather put the cost of a wedding toward a new home and can't justify spending $30,000 on a wedding at this time in our lives. I know, I know , we'll probably get it back BUT what if we don't. Sooo we started looking at destination weddings. I was trying to find a resort that was "reasonable" in price but still had all the amenities to offer. I "introduced" the idea to close friends/family and some of them have expressed that due to finances they cannot attend should we decide to go away. These were the very same people that encouraged us to go away.


                      Everyone keeps saying "it's your day, do it your way" , of course I want all of our friends/family share in our day - I know I'm not going to please everyone I just never knew it would be hard.

                      So we're thinking again about doing something ALONE -without all the added stress.
                      I think we're twins. You are the first person who has successfully voiced everything I have felt in its entirety with respect to my wedding. I mean VERBATIM. I rattled all of the same stuff in my head and was told all of the same things. I have a really hard time justifying spending a huge amount of money on a wedding when there are so much more useful things that we could put our money towards (i.e. home, car, med school, business, etc). I want something low cost and an elopement would do it but I know it would crush our parents and even I want to share the day with a FEW of my closest family/friends. Just continue to give it some thought and eventually you will come to a decision you are comfortable with and will feel better about the sacrifices that come with it; whether it is you miss out on sharing your day with your family or you end up spending a little more to have them with you, these cons will be outweighed by the pros once your heart has settled on something.




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