Am I being the psycho new wife?
Posted 12 August 2009 - 03:43 PM
But, I still don't trust this Katie chick - I think it's a good idea to get a session of your own and see how she is.. I know you trust your husband (which you should), but I just wouldn't want my husband in certain situations regardless of how much I trust him KWIM?? Then again, he would hopefully remove himself from the situation before it got to that.. but don't ignore your gut feelings... Good luck
Posted 12 August 2009 - 03:46 PM
Posted 12 August 2009 - 05:49 PM
| Originally Posted by JOSIE |
Miranda- I'm sorry I'm JUST now responding.......hellova day at work for me. I am so glad (and proud) that you put it ALL out there. The main reason is because I guarantee Colin would not have woken up one day and realized HOW much you do and HOW LITTLE response he's been giving. At the beginning of my relationship with Jason, I did little things for him all the time, like left him notes on his car, cleaned it off for him in the winter and it was covered with snow (bc i leave earlier), buy him little gifts, and I did all this hoping he'd think I was the COOLEST girl ever and would offer me some kind of verbal or physical praise or even maybe reciprocate and do little things for me. It totally backfired on me. When we ended up talking he told me that he likes a few things here and there, but i did so much that it made him feel inadequit and he had no idea how to respond....I realized I was just over-doing it hoping for some subconcious realization on his part and all I had to do in the first place was ASK.
Sorry for the long story, I can just totally relate to you! Just this morning I was feeling stressed because sometimes it feels like i do EVERYTHING and Jason skates through life doing the basics and he doesnt even care if the house is messy or not. By the time I'm done cleaning and organizing, and can finally relax, its 9PM...so frustrating!
What I found was the BIGGEST help in my own relationship was the beautiful art of PREFACING. We'd have a conversation where he'd say "I'm sorry babe, I'll definitely make more of an effort to help you" and my response is always: "Thanks so much, I really appreciate that, I just want you to know that in the future I'm gonna give you little reminders if I feel like I need more help and you're not giving, so don't get upset with me!" I say something to the effect of, "I'm warning you in advance that if you don't uphold your end of the bargin, I'm going to keep you in check, and I expect you to do the same for me."
This has seriously worked miracles for me! Now I can bring stuff up and he doesnt get mad (because i warned) and there are times when he does it to me and I'm grateful for it. He puts me in my place when deserved and if he didn't I think I'd only be considering my perspective. I hope you guys can do this for eachother and I'm glad you had a great convo with DH and figured out your own feelings and where they were stemming from!
PS: I still hate Katie....hahahaha
Well, not anymore.
I think I did warn him last night ... amongst all the tears I managed to blubber about not being able to continue like this and saying that I would be asking him to help out more than usual, and that I'd WANT him to volunteer to help, and not get huffy if I asked ... so I hope that got through to him.
I'll have to bring it up again when I'm less emotional. Hehehe
I think it made me cry more when I actually said I felt like he didn't care about me ... the look on his face was such hurt, I actually felt bad for saying it out loud ... but clearly, I got my message across.
Really ... you've all been incredible. To have such a strong support group on a message board is just incredible. You girls ROCK!!!!
Posted 12 August 2009 - 08:25 PM
Posted 12 August 2009 - 10:18 PM
"Keep your friends close, and your enemies closer."
Posted 13 August 2009 - 09:54 AM
Posted 13 August 2009 - 10:48 AM
If he heart skipped a beat when he realized the time that is a man who knows his wife/fi is upset outside hehehe
Posted 14 August 2009 - 03:07 PM
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