It's my turn to vent!

[jk1101]

I posted this as a response to Lisaloo but I'll say it again - when I told my best friend she said:

 

It all comes down to if someone really wants to be there. If they really want to, they'd find a way and if they really DON'T want to, they'll find any excuse to back out. It's that simple. So you don't want people there who don't want to be there. There is PLENTY of time to make it work financially so I don't want to hear it.

 

Autjo - FI says that to me all the time about picking your friends.

 

Our parents are the only family that's coming on either side.

My sister is not coming.

My best friend, who is more like a sister to me than my sister, is coming. (Erin she's booking this week - so is my mom!)

My friend who lost her job the same day as me and got in a car accident 2 weeks ago and had to get a new car is coming.

 

I'm very lucky to have the awesome friends that I do, and I am so greatful to have found BDW and all of you ladies who are all a part of my support system!

[lip0213]

I totally know how you feel. My FI's parents haven't said a word if they are or not going. I have people giving us the guilt trip saying we should've had the wedding here since the economy is bad, yada, yada...

 

I had to just stop stressing about it. My MAID OF HONOR who is my cousin, grew up like sisters, had a baby in March and now decided to not go back to work and is telling me she just can't afford it. That one is hard for me to get over!!!

 

My FI told me the same thing your friend did...the people that really want to be there will be there...it just sucks when the people you thought would be there, aren't...

[Sheree10]

So sorry to hear that you are going through this. I've had a lot of people say they will be there but only time will tell. Just as long as the most important people you want to be there are there then you'll be okay. I guess that's one drawback of having a DW. But hey, I rather have it that way than have a a local wedding of 250 people- half the people that I don't know.

[ms.nadia]

JerseyKitten,

 

Two things: one, I'm really sorry that you're going through this. That really, really sucks. The other thing is that I want to thank you and the other posters for sharing your experience with guests not coming. As someone who hasn't set a date/location or sent out invites yet, it's a good cautionary tale for me -- a reminder that you can please only some of the people some of the time.

[Hoosierfan]

I can empathize and am sorry you are going through this. My FI keeps reminding me that the most important people to be there are the two of us (and he's right). Still, it bugs me that a couple of my aunts and uncles aren't coming - even though they are completely financially able to. In the end, the marjority of people choose to do the things that are important to them. It certainly has shined some light on those whom maybe I put too much value in and those whom I should value more!

[Love3]

wow we all have the same crap going on in some sort of way! It is really disgusting how people can be! Oh and the funny thing is that after the wedding the people that gave us all the shitty excuses and didn't come will be our best friends again, hahah those are the same people that claim to be your best friends or closest family members when we win the lotto!!!!!!! LMAO I say screw you to all of them. They are the losers really in every way

[jk1101]

So NOW, my aunt found a hotel in Jamaica that's cheaper to stay in, so again, instead of calling me, she calls my mom to tell her, and says she will tell my cousins...WTF!!!! I picked my resort for a reason...I didn't want people staying in different places. If a couple of people had money issues that's one thing, but don't start telling the world to stay in a different hotel. I didn't want to have to deal with the day passes and people having to get to and from my resort. I swear I wish I'd never invited these people! I'm so annoyed that my easy destination wedding is starting to stress me out!!!!

[Vikki]

Ugh. I'm sorry you're dealing with this. I guess I would just tell them if they choose to try and "save" money with a cheaper hotel they will need to make arrangements for transportation, day passes and/or other expenses that would have been a part of the original travel plan.

 

Even though it seems insensative to do that she may not have even thought about the issues that arise from staying in a different location. Could you call and talk to her directly to explain the additional costs and why it wouldn't really save money or if she mainly communicates with your mom can your mom discuss it with her in a way that won't ruffle any feathers and make it worse?

 

I don't know your aunt so maybe she's just one of "those" kinds of people but she may really have no idea what's she's doing is going to create a huge hassle.

 

Good luck

[alkoch]

I am sorry that you are going through this - we kinda have a similar situation and when we first got engaged my parents told me what they had learned from experience with a family that doesn't have us as a priority. I never realized how we are so much closer to family friends than relatives. I think the one thing you just have to keep reminding yourself of is that the people who are going to come are the people you know are truly there for you. and your true friends.

[jk1101]

UPDATE -

So my aunt finally called me to tell me that she saw the hotel and she might stay there and wanted to know about how far it was from my hotel and how to get there and I was very short and cold with her and told her to ask my TA and mentioned the Day Pass price to her. Well she didn't seem happy about that and what if she only comes for the wedding will she still have to pay and I told her I assumed yes and I told her my whole purpose of having the DW and having it at this resort was so everyone could be together but if it was too much $$$ for her I would totally understand and not be upset if it she didn't come.

Then she says,

I don't know if you heard, but I totalled my car, so it does affect how much we can spend.

 

REALLY?

 

So I said,

 

I don't know if you heard, but I lost my job...(I did the day after I booked the resort)

 

I really hope they don't come.