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jawedding

I want to have a baby!

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I agree there is never the perfect time to have a baby you will just know when its time or it will just happen :-) I am happy to say I took my last pill today!!!

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Oh I want to have a baby too... like, right now would be nice! LOL

But seriously, there really isn't ever a "right" time. My husband and I have been married just over a year and we had said we would wait a year to start trying. YEAH... that didn't happen! LOL. I got the itch too. And then I also have "issues" and we were told it'd be very hard to get pregnant or to maintain a pregnancy. Well, first month we started trying was October... do the math... and TA DA!

So, what I would do is start saving. Put away a certain amount every month. Perhaps go to the store and calculate how much diapers and formula will cost. Then add on some extra for child care and start saving that now. See if you can do it. If you can, then it should help your fiance's fears ease away, and you can try for a honeymoon baby! Plus, you'll have built up a nice little nest egg that will be awesome for decorating your nursery! :)

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I have to be the odd one out on here. I disagree with the "there never is a right time". Some of us are unable to get pregnant or dealing with infertility and we are so ready. We have every little detail planned out. What diapers, bottles, bedding. We have our birth plan planned out and exactly what we want to try. We know what toys we want and we know who will watch them. I mean everything. We have taken the right vitamins for years and done everything right. We already have our doctor. I mean everything. We have researched and googled the heck out every possible thing we can b/c we have nothing else to do. TWW's feel like months and months feel like years and years feel like decades of waiting. All that's missing is the baby. So yeah sometimes it is the right time, it just doesn't happen. I (and I'm not alone) am tired of being told "It will happen when it's ready". Yeah most of us don't believe that and are tired of hearing it. I have an amazing support group of women struggling with infertility. And that phrase is on the top of our annoying list.

 

Sometimes we are 100 percent ready for that baby but our bodies don't cooperate. I would give anything in the world to be able to say ok I'm gonna stop taking bc now and be pregnant within months instead of years. Ok I've rambled sorry. I just wanted to say really sometimes there IS a RIGHT time to get pregnant. (Right now please) smile72.gifsmile03.gif

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Awww Calia hug2.gif I'm sorry about that, it must be really frustrating and disheartening for you.

 

DH and I have agreed that (for now) we are CFBC (child free by choice). We both used to say that we never wanted kids but there are days when I feel like I do want them, perhaps not anytime soon but in the future. We'll see how we both feel in a few years. I'm not adverse to adopting as I feel there are many children in the world who could benefit from a loving home, however, I have heard that the process is long, expensive and that the people taking care of the adoptions have very particular criteria as to what they feel is a suitable home for a child. I guess we'll see one day. :)

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I'm going to be ready before the FI is. I'm going to be 30 next year but like some of the others I don't feel like it's a good time financially. I own my house but it's small and it would be tight with a little one, the economy sucks so upgrading would probably be more difficult than a couple years ago. We both work but I make twice as much as he does and have all the health benefits. Ideally I would want to slow down my work when we have kids but I just don't see that as being possible for a long time.

 

I'm also scared to death about my ability to be a good parent. The idea of pregnancy and having a baby are enchanting in theory but in reality there is so much more that happens and suddenly *poof* there's this little person that looks to me for every thing. I don't know what kind of role model I would make.

 

So I guess if it's supposed to happen it will but I don't think we'll actively be trying for a couple of years, even though I would like to.

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Funny I posted something like 2mins ago. My FI and I have talked about trying to get prego on our wedding cruise. Its still in the air but you never know :) I already have a daughter who I love so much!

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Big HUGS Calia. I have a few friends who are the same way. Some it takes sooooooooooo long and others its one try. Im sending you baby vibes :)

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Calia, I sincerely feel for you. My job is delivering babies, and I see a lot of women who have tried, sometimes for YEARS, and I can't imagine how difficult and dissapointing that must be fore you. I'm sending baby dust your way! The beautiful thing about you is that when you have your baby (I'm saying when!) it will be SO wanted, and although you can never be totally prepared for a baby, you will be prepared in all of the ways that you could be. I really really really hope that you get your wish (sooner than later!)

 

And you have brought up another good point.. most women take it for granted that they will be able to conceive whenever they decide to start trying (at least within a few months of that time).. (I know I did!) it simply isn't the case for a lot of women.. I have estrogen dominant PCOS (and I'm thin, so losing weight won't help me), so for me, another consideration in not waiting too long to try, is that I only ovulate a few (unpredictable) times a year, so I know it could take quite a long time.. we'll see..

 

best of luck to everyone who wants to have a baby AND who is CFBC!! One thing we can all be thankful for is that we have each found the partner that we WANT to have babies with OR be child free with!! x

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Quote:
Originally Posted by Tlseege View Post
Oh I want to have a baby too... like, right now would be nice! LOL
But seriously, there really isn't ever a "right" time. My husband and I have been married just over a year and we had said we would wait a year to start trying. YEAH... that didn't happen! LOL. I got the itch too. And then I also have "issues" and we were told it'd be very hard to get pregnant or to maintain a pregnancy. Well, first month we started trying was October... do the math... and TA DA!
So, what I would do is start saving. Put away a certain amount every month. Perhaps go to the store and calculate how much diapers and formula will cost. Then add on some extra for child care and start saving that now. See if you can do it. If you can, then it should help your fiance's fears ease away, and you can try for a honeymoon baby! Plus, you'll have built up a nice little nest egg that will be awesome for decorating your nursery! :)
Trisha- I didn't realize you were so close! Congrats on the baby who will be here soon!

And we're hoping to take at least a year before we start trying. On my side of the family, there are 3 grandchildren so no pressure from my parents, but on his side, there are no little ones at all so I know his mom is gonna start asking pretty soon.... (Plus we're both in our 30s)

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