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Had my first BRIDEZILLA moment...

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#1 rach220

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    Posted 07 July 2009 - 12:33 AM

    So I have been totally stressing out from a million different things lately. I'm starting a new job, we just bought a house and we're leave this weekend to get married!

    I'm usually a pretty laid back, calm person. I don't let too much get to me, I don't freak out about little things and I just kinda go with the flow and make the best of whatever situation when things do go wrong. UNTIL NOW. Wedding plan has made me completely nuts. In the last 2 weeks I have been completely anal about every little thing and really wanted everything to be perfect for the wedding. SO, naturally, I only trust myself to do it. FI has offered to help with some of the planning several times and I always tell him I'm fine....until yesterday when I was so stressed out and getting down to the wire and just starting to put my program fans together. He knows I've spent hours and hours doing some of this stuff and really genuinely wants to be helpful which I was so appreciative of.

    So we both spend about 5 hours yesterday printing and cutting and playing around with the program fans to get them right. I'm at work right now, otherwise I would post pics, but just to give you an idea of what they are like, the printing is on white cardstock, but when it wasn't heavy enough, I decided to use black cardstock I had to make it stronger. So I made a template for a black fan just a little bit bigger than the white ones and glued them together so there is a black border around the white when looking from the front. Each fan has six pieces that fan out. Even though we only have 17 guests, that's still just over 100 pieces that needed to be cut out by hand, but we had to do that TWICE once I decided to use the black backing too. So we spent all this time yesterday printing and tracing and cutting. We only completely finished 2 full fans (15 to go!) so FI offered to take them to work that night and finish all the cutting so that all we would have to do today was glue them together and then put the rivets in place at the bottom.
    We work in the same place on the 11-7 overnight shift and he called me at about 4 AM telling me he had finished all the cutting and asking where he could find gluesticks in the building he was in. I told him where they would be if there were any but doubted that there would be.
    So this morning when we got out of work, I get in the car to drive home with him and he tells me how happy I am going to be and hands me the plastic bag with all the fan pieces in it. I take out the stack and start looking through it. He was so proud because he had glued them all too and he says, "I couldn't find any gluesticks so I just used Elmer's"


    He goes on to explain that we would have to redo a couple of them because the glue leaked through the white and made a wet spot, but it was only 3 or 4 out of the 100 total. He also says he understands that they are "a little wrinkly" but he will put them inside books when we get home to flatten them.

    A LITTLE WRINKLY? I wish I had pictures to share right now...

    My FI is a very bright guy, but I swear the common sense is lacking sometimes...ELMER'S GLUE MAKES PAPER WET! All 100 of them had a wave-like look to them because of the glue. I couldn't believe it.

    Atfer all our hard work...hours and hours of our backs hurting from leaning over the paper cutter and trying to get them just right...

    So I start to cry. Not a lot, but I was visibly upset and my face was all red and my eyes were welling up. So now FI is all upset and trying to defend himself...saying he was just trying to help and he didn't know and he's sorry and he'll do them over and whatever else.

    I'm so mad/upset that I just didn't say anything; I didn't want to yell at him and I didn't want to make him feel any worse and I know he was genuinely trying to help.

    BUT AHHHHHHHHHH! What a waste!

    Even though I told him not to, he went to the store later and came home with new cardstock and another printer cartridge (since we had had just enough for the ones we made) and says he is doing them all over himself. He started this morning but when I came home from work later he hadn't gotten any farther than reprinting.

    I feel so bad and I don't want him to redo them, but I also don't want to use them the way they are. They look AWFUL. They look like a 5 year old was in charge of glueing
    And I know no one probably cares except for me, but I don't want to give them out like that. I'm thinking about scrapping programs altogether because I just don't want to spend more money (I'm going to try to take the cardstock back, at least the ones he didn't open yet). I don't think anyone would even notice that there weren't any if we didn't have them.

    I also really hate having bridezilla moments like this...

    I'll try to post pics later today when I get home too. Am I totally overreacting? Anyone else go through anything similar?

    Married July 16, 2009
    Aventura Cove Palace Resort
    Riviera Maya, Mexico

    photo by Misti Douglas

    #2 Carlitarenee

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      Posted 07 July 2009 - 12:43 AM

      Aww.. I completely sympathize with you. I am very particular and want things to look professional not sloppy. I finally gave in and had my FI helped tie our chinese coins together for our favors but I was right next to him the whole time. I even re-did a few after he went to bed :blush: Its tough balancing the FI's desire to help out and my need to have it precise. Good luck!

      #3 Cassondra2009

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        Posted 07 July 2009 - 12:43 AM

        My situation wasn't nearly as bad, but I "let" FI fold the ticket jackets for our Boarding Pass STD. Once he did about 10 I made him stop, threw them all out, and told him not to touch them again. I would have been devastated if he had done all of them and they looked the way he did the first 10! I'm so sorry that this happened...its a very stressful time. I can't believe you are also buying a house at the same time. I think I would have locked myself in my room and given up on life if I was getting married and buying a house at the same time! In my opinion, if this is your only bridezilla moment you are in a good place!

        #4 big3n09

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          Posted 07 July 2009 - 12:49 AM

          I hope things get better the big day will be perfect!
          4/1/11 in St. Kitts at the Marriott I married my best-friend!!!

          #5 JOSIE

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          • 1,792 posts

            Posted 07 July 2009 - 10:35 AM

            I know how it is :) I'm such a perfectionist and I hate when things look sloppy...and its the WORST when he is so proud and excited, then shows them to you and you're like WTF? Men, just don't get it, as hard as they try. I think you did the right thing by staying calm and not making him feel worse. I'm sure he understands that you are stressed and knows that you want things to be perfect. He sounds really loving and patient to offer to re-do them all again! Maybe it won't be so bad since there are still 2 good ones! Keep us posted :)

            #6 Jacilynda

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              Posted 07 July 2009 - 10:40 AM

              Ah! This is just what men do! I know you really don't want to redo them or spend the money on them, but if he already bought everything I would just offer to help redo them. I know it sucks. But it probably means alot to him to be able to fix this and prove to you he is capable and have a proud happy bride who loves her programs.

              I know you don't want to, but I think its the best thing for him. Let him help and redo and maybe jump in and help a little. Men don't want to help again if what they did before was wrong and they werent' able to prove they could do it.

              I'm sure it will work out programs or no programs!

              #7 mich999

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                Posted 07 July 2009 - 10:44 AM

                I would have cried too. I think you should redo them though, because if you scrap them that will make FI feel even worse. Just do them together, don't let him do them alone or make him feel bad - just tell him things happen and you understand he didn't know what would happen with Elmers (most guys don't know about that stuff). You'll be glad you redid them when they are all done. Good luck!

                #8 da.shmoopies

                • Jr. Member
                • 223 posts

                  Posted 07 July 2009 - 01:10 PM

                  Redo. That's my vote. If you don't like them, it will just keep bugging you every time you see them! (Sweet of him to try though... you have to give him credit for that!) Maybe we need to all write explicit step by step instruction for our men to follow.

                  On a lighter note... isn't it funny how some gals complain that their fiance isn't helping at all.. Yet, when they do offer help, we rather they didn't?? LOL I have deligated printing and corner punching but that's about as far as I'll let the fiance do anything... and even then when I let him print he'll forget something pertinent, like, um... printing the other side!!

                  #9 DanielleNDerek

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                    Posted 07 July 2009 - 01:26 PM

                    I wouldnt redo them instead i would give yourself a few days to think about it and if you still really dont want to use them than just scrap the programs. but honestly I know the look of them is really bothering you but its probably something no one will even notice at your wedding. I was so picky about so much stuff for my wedding and no one noticed if anything was off but me. And your fi really tried to help you and its really sweet how he realizes he messed up but is trying to fix it for you so i would just hold onto the programs and see if they grow on you. I'm sure they are fine and just look awful to you because they werent exactly how you wanted them. If you get a chance to post them on here and we'll give you an honest opinion about them.

                    And once you get to Mexico you'll be laughing at this whole incident, its amazing how relaxed i was once i stepped off the plane, i didnt give a crap about any of the wedding planning. I'm sure you'll be the same way.
                    ***Married November 6, 2008***Gavin Born February 28th, 2010***
                    Paradisus Palma Real Wedding Review
                    Our Professional Wedding Pictures on Snapfish

                    #10 DanielleNDerek

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                      Posted 07 July 2009 - 01:27 PM

                      Oh and to add, im pretty sure everyone besides my mother left their programs at the ceremony location or the reception location so they all pretty much got thrown away. So dont stress about programs, its really not worth it.
                      ***Married November 6, 2008***Gavin Born February 28th, 2010***
                      Paradisus Palma Real Wedding Review
                      Our Professional Wedding Pictures on Snapfish

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