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NYCBridetoBe1909

Legal US Ceremony AFTER DW?

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FI and I have always planned on getting married in the US before the DW, but like a lot of brides, we want to keep it to ourselves, so people don't feel like they came to St. Lucia for "nothing". (My FI who is reading over my shoulder would like me to point out that the prior sentance makes it sound like we're both brides and requests that I clarify, that he is a groom to be and I am a bride to be...moving on.....)

 

So his question is if its possible to have the wedding ceremony in St. Lucia and then come back to the US and have the "legal ceremony". I mean, it's not bigamy, since we're marrying the same person. I just wasn't sure if anyone knew the reason people do it before?

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LOL- too funny. I just posted about this in another thread.

 

Most couples do do it before, but we're doing our legal day after we return from Mexico. There is absolutely no reason you "have" to do it before...I think traditionally speaking, most just like to have everything all signed sealed, delivered and what not when they return from their wedding trip. The only thing my FH has truly voiced an emotional opinion about was that the first time we say vows to each other be on our TRUE wedding day; not some legality we have to take care of because the govt says so. So we'll be doing a vow renewal/symbolic ceremony in Mexico, then hit the courthouse the week after we come back.

 

As for people feeling jipped or whatever--theres no reason they should feel that way. But truly, theres no reason to even tell anyone anything about the legalities of it. Most won't know or think to ask. As far as they'll know, your wedding day is your wedding day. If you are worried overall, I'd say adopt the "don't ask, don't tell" policy:) But otherwise, do it after you get home since theres no reason not to!

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We did the legal ceremony before because our resort requires a copy of your marriage certificate in order to get the "free" symbolic wedding (at least I think so ... I read so many wedding package details from so many resorts I get them confused).

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Quote:
Originally Posted by eloping789 View Post
We did the legal ceremony before because our resort requires a copy of your marriage certificate in order to get the "free" symbolic wedding (at least I think so ... I read so many wedding package details from so many resorts I get them confused).
That is my understanding also. We were told that we must provide a copy of our marriage certificate before the vow renewal/symbolic wedding can take place.

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But I wonder if you just went through with the marriage (rather than the renewal of vows) and then got "remarried" in the US, what the effect would be?

 

The resort also said that the renewal of vows will be different wording from the actual wedding, like instead of "Do you take Sally to be your wife?" It will be "Do you continue to take Sally as your wife?" so I guess hiding it may be difficult too...

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I think the only time a "must" comes into play is if you are trying to qualify for a free wedding package. We are doing a regular wedding package.

Quote:
But I wonder if you just went through with the marriage (rather than the renewal of vows) and then got "remarried" in the US, what the effect would be?
Not sure what you mean by this. Sorry! Just confused. You either have a lawful, civil ceremony that is legally binding, or you have a vow renewal/symbolic ceremony which is is not legally binding.

 

As far as the wording of the ceremony, any resort worth their salt is going to allow you to contribute to the phrasing. There should be an exchange of information, even if it's only after you arrive; an opportunity for you to have some say in how your ceremony plays out and is worded.

 

There is nothing about the "law" involved in a symbolic ceremony, so any stipulations would be ENTIRELY resort oriented and vary by location. My resort doesn't care and will give instructions to whoever acts as officient on anything we want to include in our ceremony. For instance, we are incorporating a broom jump-that's definitely not something that is included in a regular Mexico vow renewal package, but we said we wanted it in, and they are working it in. Thats what your coordinator is for; to make sure your requests and wishes as bride and groom are taken care of. If they simply can't do something, they'll let you know.

 

You're the wedding couple-the guests. It's your wedding. Make your wishes known to your resort coordinator and simply see what she says.

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Quote:
Originally Posted by NYCBridetoBe1909 View Post
But I wonder if you just went through with the marriage (rather than the renewal of vows) and then got "remarried" in the US, what the effect would be?

The resort also said that the renewal of vows will be different wording from the actual wedding, like instead of "Do you take Sally to be your wife?" It will be "Do you continue to take Sally as your wife?" so I guess hiding it may be difficult too...

I think if you went through with the marriage at the resort you would legally be married so you wouldn't have to get "remarried"...that just seems kind of redundent for lack of a better word. If you're planning on doing the actual ceremony in St. Lucia you could do the symbolic part at homehuh.gif I gues I'm just not to clear on why you would do it at home again.
We are doing it before just because we want to actually be married after the wedding instead of wait for the trip to be over then go home and actually get married.
Good luck with your planning!

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The resorts I have seen offered

Legal

Symbolic

Renewal of vows

 

We are getting married before we leave. Our resort does not require any proof, but just to be on the safe side I will be bringing it with me. We are doing a symbolic ceremony and my WC said its exactly like the Legal (as far as wording) but your are not married in the eyes of the Country you are in. The Renewal of vows would have been free and the wording was different. Does your resort offer the 3?

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What happens if you don't do a legal ceremony in the US at all. Technically, the ceremony in Jamaica will be valid in the US. I'm torn on this issue. If I don't have to do a legal ceremony here I would prefer not to.

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