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Venting:Bummed About Having To Go To The Court House Before We Go To Jamaica


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#1 OROBride1008

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    Posted 29 May 2009 - 12:26 PM

    So my FI works for a company that has been doing some major layoffs. The company just got bought out by another company and he is sure that he will be next to go.

    The problem is, my FI sees a cardiologist due to previous chest pains, high blood pressure, high cholesterol, and anxiety. If he gets laid off he could pick up COBRA, but even with the Obama stimulus it is still kinda high. So I looked to see if his doctors were covered under my plan and they are.

    So when I spoke with my benefits person at work, I thought we could qualify as domestic partner because we have lived together for 2 and a half years, but they only honor same sex.

    So I asked her what his coverage date would be when we get married, and she told me I have to produce a marriage license within 30 days of our wedding date. We all know from this website that that's not going to happen. They won't extend the deadline either. So the only way I can get a marriage certificate within 30 days is to go to the courthouse.

    I know everyone is telling me to look at it like just doing paperwork and I will, but it is just a bummer and I am kinda disappointed.

    #2 *Kerin28*

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      Posted 29 May 2009 - 12:29 PM

      Awe i'm sorry your sad about it. I think its a good thing to get your stuff taken care of in the states, much easier if you need to reference it later ( just my opinion). Keep looking on the bright side- its only paper work... your "real" day will be very special i'm sure. You wont even notice it.

      #3 Erika J

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        Posted 29 May 2009 - 12:36 PM

        You can try to look at it as a special secret between the 2 of you!! It might make it more fun :) Is there a reason that you can't do it right when you get back from the wedding and just do a symbolic in the DW and then the legal paperwork day when you get home?

        #4 Goldstein to Be

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          Posted 29 May 2009 - 01:51 PM

          I just had my legal day on Friday. We didn't want to hassle with doing the paperwork in Mexico and getting a blood test down there.

          I was also a little hesitant but I ended up loving the experience. In California, they make you do the paperwork and have a ceremony with the magistrate. It was really nice to have that experience with just the two of us. Without our friends and family there, it made it feel really intimate. We didn't have our rings or anything so that will make our Mexico ceremony special too. We also didn't say our vows at the courthouse, just I do.
          No one at work knows and I'm still calling him FI.

          I think that Erika is right, just look at it as paperwork and special secret. I think it will be ok.

          #5 Preciousmi811

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            Posted 29 May 2009 - 02:27 PM

            Hey why not look at it differently.... Now you can wear that white suit or throw on that sexy white dress you always wanted to put on. Let it be your little romantic secret. Go to work leave for a couple hours go get married and go back with out telling anybody. I think once you look at it in a different perspective you will be happy.
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            #6 drbrainfreeze

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              Posted 29 May 2009 - 03:22 PM

              Quote:
              Originally Posted by OROBride1008
              So my FI works for a company that has been doing some major layoffs. The company just got bought out by another company and he is sure that he will be next to go.

              The problem is, my FI sees a cardiologist due to previous chest pains, high blood pressure, high cholesterol, and anxiety. If he gets laid off he could pick up COBRA, but even with the Obama stimulus it is still kinda high. So I looked to see if his doctors were covered under my plan and they are.

              So when I spoke with my benefits person at work, I thought we could qualify as domestic partner because we have lived together for 2 and a half years, but they only honor same sex.

              So I asked her what his coverage date would be when we get married, and she told me I have to produce a marriage license within 30 days of our wedding date. We all know from this website that that's not going to happen. They won't extend the deadline either. So the only way I can get a marriage certificate within 30 days is to go to the courthouse.

              I know everyone is telling me to look at it like just doing paperwork and I will, but it is just a bummer and I am kinda disappointed.
              You might want to look into this a little more. I was worried about the same thing when we got back - and our benefits office (we work for the same company) just used the temporary certificate that was given to us at the RIU. It states the date of the marriage, as well as the sig's of both of you, your witnesses as well as the officient.

              Have you asked if this would be sufficient? They give this to you at the ceremony.

              Otherwise, just look at it as pre-wedding paperwork. There is not much difference between what you are doing now (living together) and signing a little form so that he can be medically covered. Your wedding day will still be extra-special!!

              #7 JOSIE

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                Posted 29 May 2009 - 03:24 PM

                don't be disappointed! if there are no exceptions to the insurance situation then by far the biggest concern is his health and making sure he's covered! we're going to the courthouse 4 months before our wedding and to me it means nothing....the ceremony is what will set up that "married feeling" (at least for me!) and I know you'll feel just as much like a bride!!!!!!!!

                Good Luck, Don't Worry!
                11.28.2009

                #8 Scott-Pierre

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                  Posted 29 May 2009 - 09:32 PM

                  Even though you will be "legally" married, Jamaica will still be your wedding! And just think, it can be even cheaper now b/c you will be doing a renewal of vows ceremony! I think you are doing a wonderful thing by putting your husband's health first! :)

                  #9 OROBride1008

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                    Posted 29 May 2009 - 10:49 PM

                    Thanks ladies for all your comments. I didn't know that they give you a temporary license when you get married at the Riu. That may work. I will ask my benefits person Monday. If he does end up getting laid off, then we will just go down to the courthouse and make it an intimate affair between just us. Thanks again :0)

                    #10 Ebbie475

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                      Posted 30 May 2009 - 11:19 AM

                      I know how you are feeling about this, but after reading the encouragement from the other brides out here, it really puts it in a different perspective.

                      Good luck to you OROBride1008. I know everything will work out just fine.
                      Hey if you do have to sneak out and get married...can we be in on your little secret?




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