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Damned when I do and damned when I don't

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7 replies to this topic

#1 itsfinallyhere

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    Posted 25 May 2009 - 09:20 PM

    Okay ladies I am back again. And apparently I have screwed up even though I have gone out of my way to appease and please. Awhile ago I had brought up the dilemma of my invitations. Well here is what I did and I thought that I had come up with an amazing compromise. I ordered two sets. Yup stupid me. I order a small order for myself and another larger order for my parents. Well they were happy enough with the invitations, but. Ya isn't there always a but! Anyway the return address has only my mom's name on it, and now apparently my sister called me to tell it is not right that it be addressed only to her! FI is freaking because he feel slike I cater too much to them to begin with and I am left feeling miserable and totally bummed, because apparently I am the but for ordering them like! I only did this because I wanted to make them happy. I seem to always end up with egg on face one way or the other. FI says that if anymore complaints or demand come from my end he is going to step in. And it won't be pretty. Last time he stepped in, my mom would not talk to him or even be in the same room as him (she refused to attend the reception for our sons christening because he was hosting it). So I have some very head strong people I am caught in the middle of. I understand why FI is angry (he hates to see me stressed or upset, and we are paying), but I wish he weren't venting at me! But to let him loose will cause irreputable damage.

    Kind of wish I had a place to hide

    #2 KLC77

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    • 2,207 posts

      Posted 25 May 2009 - 09:30 PM

      Who else's name does your sister think should be on the return address?

      I'm sorry they are stressing you out about something that seems pretty trivial. I doubt many guests will comment on who's name was on the return address label.

      Our Awesome Wedding Pics: http://www.delsolpho...ings/kelly&ron/

      #3 BillysBride

      • Sr. Member
      • 1,255 posts

        Posted 25 May 2009 - 09:34 PM

        Sweetie, PLEASE step back and let these people stew in their own damn juices. They are being absolutely ridiculous, plain and simple. There's just no other word for it. Causing you all this grief and remorse over some damn etiquette shit? Pfft..please. YOU tell 'em what's what and let the chips fall where they may. I don't blame your man for wanting to step in. It's obvious you're upset and the only person that has enough sense other than him to put an end to this nonsense is YOU, so do it. Put your foot down, let them know enough is enough and on the grand scale of LOVING YOU AND WANTING TO SEE YOU HAPPY...what the f*cking f*ck does the damn return address on a bunch of invites have to do with the big picture?

        Please...these people need to chillax, have a damn martini and a valium or somethin. Ridiculous. They are being insane, so don't let them drag you into it. Rise above, ignore and be blissful.

        http://i17.photobuck....inecollage.jpgThe Fab Four (my quads) Meryn, Kellen, Nico & Layla
        http://global.thekno...rs/tt265ad.aspxhttp://www.mywedding...nnah/index.html20 STD's w. pre-lim RSVP sent 6/15/09: 7 "Yes" so far/10 guests total!

        #4 LadyP

        • Sr. Member
        • 3,156 posts

          Posted 25 May 2009 - 09:57 PM

          I am sorry that they are causing you stress and drama but its your wedding, have addressed to you but there address and call it the day. DO U it is your day

          #5 YoursTruly

          • Sr. Member
          • 1,097 posts

            Posted 26 May 2009 - 10:41 AM

            U have to make boundaries with your family and gently, yet firmly put them back in their lane when they cross the line. This is so ridiculous and so a non-issue!! Please dont let it get to you anymore---stand up for yourself now or else this will be the first of many stressful events...

            #6 McToasty

            • Jr. Member
            • 170 posts

              Posted 26 May 2009 - 11:06 AM

              wow that sucks babe... it sounds like such a stressful situation!!! i guess i'm sort of a "people-pleaser" and it upsets me when people get mad or are unhappy with things, esp. after i made a special effort to accomodate them. could you explain the situation about your sister a little? as with the other BDW brides, i'm not understanding why she wants to be on the return address. as KLC77 wrote, no one really cares who's on the return address. it's not gonna make them see her at the party and be like, "WOW. it was your name on the return address." i dunno. people worry about so much that doesn't even matter, and then in turn they put those demands onto you. i'm so sorry for that babe.

              There's an aesop's fable that might help you feel better... it's long, but worth the read.

              A Man and his son were once going with their Donkey to market. As they were walking along by its side a countryman passed them and said: "You fools, what is a Donkey for but to ride upon?"

              So the Man put the Boy on the Donkey and they went on their way. But soon they passed a group of men, one of whom said: "See that lazy youngster, he lets his father walk while he rides."

              So the Man ordered his Boy to get off, and got on himself. But they hadn't gone far when they passed two women, one of whom said to the other: "Shame on that lazy lout to let his poor little son trudge along."

              Well, the Man didn't know what to do, but at last he took his Boy up before him on the Donkey. By this time they had come to the town, and the passers-by began to jeer and point at them. The Man stopped and asked what they were scoffing at. The men said:

              "Aren't you ashamed of yourself for overloading that poor donkey of yours and your hulking son?"

              The Man and Boy got off and tried to think what to do. They thought and they thought, till at last they cut down a pole, tied the donkey's feet to it, and raised the pole and the donkey to their shoulders. They went along amid the laughter of all who met them till they came to Market Bridge, when the Donkey, getting one of his feet loose, kicked out and caused the Boy to drop his end of the pole. In the struggle the Donkey fell over the bridge, and his fore-feet being tied together he was drowned.

              "That will teach you," said an old man who had followed them:

              Please all, and you will please none.

              #7 Jenamie

              • Jr. Member
              • 392 posts

                Posted 28 May 2009 - 01:53 AM


                Wow I did not even put last names on my invite it was just come joing Jeni and Tim on the sand when and where!

                my RSVPs went to my mom because I keep moving so hers is the only constant address... I guess I dont understand people and the need to take over others weddings...

                #8 itsfinallyhere

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                • 573 posts

                  Posted 28 May 2009 - 10:12 AM

                  Thank-you girls for all your support. Well, the issues has kind of resloved itself. My parents sent theirs out before I was able to tell them a new and revised version was going to be ordered. But the are already gone so nothing to worry about there. I just have to get new envelops for me as some of our are going to people who will not reconginze my name or don't know me. I will feel better is both are names are on them so people will know even before they open them who it is for. Fi is taking care of fixing everything for me.

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