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Between a Rock and a Hard Place

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#1 ~Stephanie~

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    Posted 12 May 2009 - 09:51 AM

    I really just need to vent!

    I was previously married and I kept the house in the divorce (not that I wanted it). I have 3 years from the date of the divorce to get my ex's name off the mortgage. I have a year left. This required refinancing or selling it. In addition to this problem when my ex refinanced the house before our divorce he did a 3-year ARM (where the rate is only fixed for 3 years and then it adjusts). This is set to adjust in September of this year. So basically I have until September to try and sell or refinance my house. This has become impossible.

    Over a year ago I had a couple of Realtors look at my house and they both said that it would not sell in this market without taking a loss. I unfortunately do not have that luxury. In an attempt to increase the value of the house my FI and I remodeled the kitchen ourselves. Now since last summer we have been trying to clean up our credit and get all our ducks in order to refinance because FI is going back to school this fall and we want to wait till he is out of school to moved to a permanent location.

    Over the last 5 months I have been working with 2 different Mortgage brokers and both have said that there is nothing they can do for us. Our credit is fine, our debt is fine but their appraisers say that my house will not appraise high enough to be refinanced as I now owe more than my house is worth due to the market. Even after I remodeled. I have basically had the door slammed in my face, nobody can or wants to help me. I have suggested to these brokers that maybe I qualify for refinancing through President Obama's new housing plan (it allows people in my situation that owe more than the house is worth to qualify for refinancing through participating lenders). Apparently nobody is participating, one broker said she had me pre-approved for the program through one of her lenders and then the lender "pulled out" of the program. WTF?!

    So last week Thursday I called a new lender, hoping that with persistence and determination that someone out there has to be able to help me right?! He seemed really optimistic despite everything I told him about what I had been through so far. He said he would call me back later that day or Friday. It's now Tuesday. I think he went running for the hills. I emailed him before leaving work Friday afternoon since I had not heard from him and all he said was that he hadn't heard back from his corporate office.

    I know I am pessimistic by nature but I am feeling so overwhelmingly defeated. I don't know what to do, I don't know where to go. If I can't get this done there is no way I will be able to pay my mortgage payment this fall. And I would likely have to cancel or downsize my wedding so I can use my wedding money to try and keep afloat. I am so stressed over this I can't sleep, I feel so anxious and sick. I just wish I could get out of this mess that I never asked to be in.

    Our wedding websitewww.mywedding.com/stephanieandmichaelbailey

    #2 YoursTruly

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      Posted 12 May 2009 - 10:18 AM

      Oh Stephanie --I am so sorry to hear this and I know it offers little comfort to hear that so many of us are experiencing the same thing. The last thing you want to do is walk away,have you called your mortgage company directly and spoken with them about the adjustments and if there is anything they can work out with you specifically for when the ARM adjusts? Also, if you did not want the house, can I ask what made you decide to keep it or sell it when you got divorced? I wish you well, I too am in the same position, but with an investment property (so you know lenders aren't giving us the time of day). This housing market sux big time!!

      #3 DanielleNDerek

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        Posted 12 May 2009 - 10:23 AM

        I'm sorry Steph. This may not be something you cant do but i'm refinancing right now and i have to pay a fee at settlement in order for my house not to have to be re-appraised again (my house would be appraised for a little less than what we owe). And i'm basically getting a little more than that fee back anyway when i get some of my escrow back. so it kinda evens out for us. Is that not an option for you?
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        #4 ~Stephanie~

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          Posted 12 May 2009 - 10:38 AM

          YoursTruly- My mortgage "servicer" cannot help because they are not a "lender" which makes things difficult. My ex didn't want the house and I got custody of our kids and in doing so I felt that it would be less tramatic for them to stay in their home since one of us had to keep the house anyways until it could be sold. I'm sorry you are in the same position, I hear its worse with investment properties because there is even less help if its not your primary residence.

          Danielle= Thanks for the suggestion, I will ask about that!

          Our wedding websitewww.mywedding.com/stephanieandmichaelbailey

          #5 ~*Kathy*~

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            Posted 12 May 2009 - 11:02 AM

            Steph - I'm sorry, that situation sounds really crappy. I can't offer you any advice but I can offer you my support. I really hope things start to look up for you regarding the sale of your house soon. *big hugs*

            #6 kate.com


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              Posted 12 May 2009 - 11:07 AM

              Steph, that stinks! Ugh... I know my coworker here in DM is having probs selling her house without taking a loss too. Stupid market, wish I could help more than sympathize.

              #7 BachataBride

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                Posted 12 May 2009 - 11:51 AM

                Ugh....that sucks sweetie!
                I wish divorces, and real estate, and finances period didn't have to be so complicated & messy. I hope things work out for you - just keep trying!!! Persistance pays off!!!
                Keep us posted.

                #8 GracieBebe

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                  Posted 14 May 2009 - 01:34 PM

                  Have you considered having your ex to a quit claim deed which means he signs over his rights to his portion of the ownership of the house to you? I know that here in CT, you can do a quit claim to sign over the house or a portion of the house to someone without having to go through a refinancing. If it is allowed where you live, you should look into it. Best of luck!
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                  #9 Vikki

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                    Posted 14 May 2009 - 02:42 PM

                    Ugh-same situation. The fi and ex own a house and it's worth probably $60K less then they owe. She's living in it and so far has kept up on the payments. But he's stuck with his name on that loan until the house sells or refis....neither of which seem likely. It kills his debt ratio if we looked at upgrading to a larger house. And in case she stops making payments or defaults we're keeping our assets separate until the whole thing is wrapped up, which could take several years.

                    Have you talked to your lender about re-amoritizing the loan or options they have to help you? It costs them a lot more money to foreclose than to work with you-although it doesn't always end up that way.

                    Good luck and I hope you find a solution. This new program is still getting from the planning to implementing stage. Institutions are still figuring out how to provide and structure those loan changes. As time goes on it will be easier to work with but I don't think anybody knows for sure how it's going to work right now.

                    #10 KristinaM

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                    Posted 14 May 2009 - 02:50 PM

                    Steph~ I really don't know much about the housing situations as I don't own yet but I just wanted to say I'm really really sorry you're going through this. I hope someone can figure out a way to help you and make this work.

                    In the meantime, just try to stay positive and hope for the best.

                    (((BIG HUGS))))

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