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Do I invite FI's female friend to my shower?

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15 replies to this topic

#1 DarcyJAde

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    Posted 08 May 2009 - 11:28 AM

    Here's the deal, they have been "close" friends since high school. I am pretty sure she doesn't like me (and vise versa). However, I try to be nice since I know they were close. We invited her to the wedding, but she can't make it "can't afford it". Whatever, she's a lawyer! The trick is their other friend I like very much and would love to invite her. I suppose it would be rude to invite one without the other. UGH!


    #2 RoryS

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    • 230 posts

      Posted 08 May 2009 - 11:40 AM

      I would say, invite her to the shower. If she can't afford to come to the wedding, she probably won't be able to "afford" a shower gift either.
      At least you've done the right thing in the eyes of FI and friends.

      #3 melette

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        Posted 08 May 2009 - 11:45 AM

        I agree with RoryS. it shows your FI, at least you tried.
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        #4 boscobel

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          Posted 08 May 2009 - 11:48 AM

          Hmmmm, I guess there is no harm inviting her. Keep the peace, ya know?

          That being said, none of my husbands female friends were invited to my shower since our families are so big, there just wasn't enough space for all the females from our wedding to be invited to the shower!

          #5 Carolyn

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            Posted 08 May 2009 - 11:48 AM

            I agree with the RoryS.. You look to be the better person.

            #6 marryinghimagain

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            • 479 posts

              Posted 08 May 2009 - 11:58 AM

              I also agree with PPs. Invite her and make FI happy. Even if she comes, you don't really have to spend any length of one on one time with her.

              #7 sunsetbride1

              • Sr. Member
              • 1,083 posts

                Posted 08 May 2009 - 01:54 PM

                I agree with everyone else... Invite her, be the bigger person, make FI happy and if she really has the guts to show up- kill her with kindness and have fun with those that are there for you!

                #8 Vikki

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                  Posted 08 May 2009 - 02:32 PM

                  Having been the female friend I'd say invite her-if she doesn't come then at least you made the effort.

                  If she's an important part of his life it will be important for you to understand, even if you two don't get along. Now...if there's anything inappropriate going on then you should definately blow the whistle but if it's just a long time friendship then try to be the better person and if she really cares about him she will do the same.

                  I know they've just been friends-doesn't sound like they actually had a relationship - my situation was a little different. I have been great friends with my highschool boyfriend (we were together all through high school and the first couple of months of his military training-broke up my first year of college) and have been involved in all the important moments of his life since we called it quits - his engagement, marriage and the birth of his son. At first it was kind of strange for her, she was his girlfriend and I was his ex....but as we got to know each other and it was no big deal. I love his wife and it's been so cool to watch him live out his dreams with her by his side. They moved away a year ago and she emails me with updates on their little and their new home.

                  Good luck and I think it's great you're at least open to giving it a try-worst case senario you were the bigger person.

                  #9 da.shmoopies

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                  • 223 posts

                    Posted 08 May 2009 - 02:41 PM

                    I vote for invite the female friend also.

                    I've been on the otherside, except the new wife didn't like ME. Now my male friend and I don't talk to each other at all.

                    Definitely be the better person. :)

                    #10 fudgie

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                      Posted 08 May 2009 - 02:45 PM

                      I agree with the ladies and be the better person :)
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