Jump to content
Sign in to follow this  
mrsm109

Cancelled Wedding???

Recommended Posts

Quote:
Originally Posted by BillysBride View Post

He hasn't been treating you right and that much is obvious. The whole you-can't-go-unless-you're-married thing doesn't really ring true to me. What company takes the time to look into whose married and whose not if they are so big? It's not the military for cryin' out loud...significant other is significant enough for most shindigs.
okay, I agree with pretty much everything you just said. Now I specifically wanted to comment on this. I was just going to leave it alone because the truth is, I know in my heart, he'll apologize and kiss up for a couple of days and things will go back to normal. But I still just wanted to say that I do not for a second believe the whole "must be married" thing. I've never known of any company that does this. Most, if not all companies, will allow you and a guest at company events. It could be a friend or anybody. To be honest, I believe he asked out of obligation but assumed you wouldn't be able to make it, per usual. When you made a way to come, he was taken aback, and had to make up some excuse as to why you couldn't come. I wouldn't be surprised if he had invited someone else, or wanted to see someone else that he knew was going to be there. I think you know in your heart that this whole situation just isn't quite right, but you probably love him and maybe feel somewhat trapped, (kids/stay at home mom? or not enough income to make it on your own). My advice would still be to please think long and hard about whether marriage is the right thing to do with him. It's easier to walk away now than after you're married. I know it would be embarrassing to have to tell people you aren't getting married, but that's not good enough reason to settle and marry someone and be unhappy for years to come.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

after reading all these comments I agree that you don't want to just jump back into things. Money isn't anything in the long run, neither is pride. You should always feel wonderful when you are with the person you marry. I am not saying there aren't good times, but it really bothers me that he was embarrassed by you. That is a horrible thing to ever say to someone. I think you need to truly decide if you want to keep going through this situation for the rest of your life, it will happen again.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I appreciate everyone's support, concern, and advice. And I know that a lot of what you are saying is 100% correct. I can't remember who said that I will never forget that he said he was embarrassed of me, you are right. It has kind of just stuck in my head. I won't forget it, but I will try to forgive. Why he said it, honestly I don't know. He says he said it out of anger in the middle of an argument, but that still doesn't make it ok. I do love him and I believe that for all the wonderful things that we have in our relationship that he does deserve a second chance. And that is what I'm trying to give him right now. I don't know what the future will bring, I hope it will be a healed heart and a wonderful lifelong marriage, but I am not blind to the fact that it will take work from both of us. There are things that are not optional that he will have to change, and I will have to learn how to forgive him and move on. For the wedding, right now I'm not going to think about that right now. I need to give it some time before I know for sure, because only time will tell if things truly change. Thank you again for everything. It is helpful to hear from people who don't have a vested interested in the situation.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I'm so glad everyone here has been helpful for you. I went through something similar (had to postpone my wedding right before it was set to happen). Because I didn't know about this site then, I went to another site, with lots of women (and some men) who have had their weddings canceled on them, or have been the one with the cold feet. Its called There Goes The Bride (theregoesthebride.com, and click on forums). It definitely helped me through my difficult time. I'm so sorry this is happening to you....good luck with everything!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

My heart goes out to you. There is no easy answer right now, and your mind must be spinning.

 

Please understand that each and every person who posted a reply to you did because they care. While you might be a stranger to us, what you wrote touched us.

 

Your story touched a chord, because so many of us have been there, or watched friends and family who have been there. you are not alone in this. We want to help!

 

We want you to have everything that you deserve in life. This outpouring of posts to you, shows you that we have got your back! Sisterhood in action! Take a moment and digest that, because that is very powerful stuff.

 

No matter what anyone says to you, you have to make the decision that is best for you. Deep down in your gut, you know what that is. If you are not sure, then take some time, away from the kids, from him, from your friends and your family, and think.

 

How does he make you feel? We have heard about the horrible things that he said recently , and what he had done. Is this indicative of who he is, or is it a temporary blip? You know what the answer is to that question. If your friends and family knew what happened, what would they say? If his actions can not stand up to their litmus test, then his actions are wrong, and you need to take action.

 

If you spend any time unhappy, insecure, or frustrated because of your relationship with him, then end it now. It will not get better. you have to do this for your sake, but you also must do it for the sake of your children.

 

Believe me, I have been there, Except I did not listen to my gut and I did marry him, and suffered the consequences. It took many years to get over that. Please do not do that to yourself and your children.

 

There is hope! I am now with a wonderful man who treats me how I deserve to be treated, and I can be me, and be proud of it!

 

Whatever you do it must be your decision, but make sure that you are making it for the right reasons.

 

I hope that you take this message how it is intended, to be helpful, and to tellyou that you are not alone, and that you deserve the best life has to offer. It is up to you to make sure you get it.

 

Take good care of yourself and keep us posted.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Good luck with everything, I hope everything works out for you. I am sure you will make the right decision for your kids and yourself. Keep us posted.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

Sign in to follow this  


  • Best Destination Wedding Sponsors



    Facebook Pinterest Google+ Twitter
  • Posts

    • Unfortunately, pregnancy yoga training is a time of extreme. It's all part of the deal; even the stress is often a normal effect of the hormones that are raging through your system. But you have to keep stress at a controlled level because you have to think of your health and that of your baby. Here are some tips on how to keep stress at bay during pregnancy: 1. Evaluate your activities. Pregnancy is a time of many changes; your body is changing and your life is also about to change. You are transitioning to becoming a new mother. While you're at it, it's high time to change your activities as well. Evaluate your activities by checking your schedule. Perhaps you lived quite a busy life before. That can be pretty stressful and may even put your pregnancy at risk, so it would be best to slow things down a bit now that you're pregnant. Pregnancy has its way of affecting your mood and making you feel tired all the time, so there will be times when you just won't be productive. So instead of piling up on tasks, choose activities that you can drop or delegate to someone else. 2. Break the bad habits. Whether you really were trying to get pregnant or pregnancy crept up on you, somewhere along the way you will face the need to break your bad habits. What are these notorious bad habits you definitely have to say goodbye to during your pregnancy? · Smoking · Alcohol consumption · Too much coffee or any other beverage that contains caffeine One good way of breaking bad habits, even ones that you've had for years, is subliminal programming. Subliminal programming means re-training the mind; it works in two steps: · Removing negative embedded factors in the subconscious Since this method communicates directly with the subconscious, which is responsible for directing our actions and behaviors, it is more effective than consciously deciding to stop smoking or drinking. 3. Take up meditation. If you haven't tried it before, now is the best time to take up meditation. There are many tips and instructions online as well as many books on the subject. You can learn it on your own or join a meditation class. Meditation is the art of emptying the mind to relax both the mind and the body. It is also very effective in regulating emotions, which can be hard to control when you're pregnant. If you have plenty of time to spare, join a yoga class. 4. Block the horror stories. Every woman who's been pregnant loves telling her pregnancy stories to non-pregnant or newly pregnant women. It's their way of saying "welcome to the club." While good advice is particularly helpful, most women tend to share horror stories, or stories of how stressful and emotional pregnancy was for them. You may also use subliminal messages to train your mind to block these negative stories, so you can focus on the positive things about your pregnancy. There are many positive things, too, the biggest of which is the new life inside you, so you won't run out of good thoughts to nurture in your mind.   Safe and Easy Workouts to Do During Your Pregnancy The main rule of thumb when exercising while pregnant is to modify your workouts to suit the trimester you are in and to honor what is happening to your body. What is deemed appropriate for your first trimester is certainly not for your third trimester. However, there are several exercises that you can perform right through to the end. Let's examine the first trimester. You are just beginning your nine-month journey. You may be feeling a bit more tired, perhaps queazy, but you may not even be showing a baby bump yet. At this time, if you have already had a workout program in place, you can continue with what you've been doing.  Some doctors may not advise any lying down exercises at any time during your pregnancy, but speak with your physician to determine if this modification is necessary. Appropriate exercise for the first trimester: • your normal routine (within limits) • walking • swimming • low impact aerobics (keeping heart rate low) • strength training • yoga As you move into your second trimester, you may be feeling a surge of energy but your body is showing the pregnancy more and certain workouts may not feel as good. Around this time, lying down is not totally recommended and keeping heart rate low and core body temperature low is important. The importance of abdominal and pelvic floor strength should be highlighted throughout your pregnancy, so if you haven't already started, Kegal exercises should be implemented in all workouts you do. What is a Kegal? The pelvic floor muscles are like a hammock of muscles located at the base of your torso and under your pelvis. To do a Kegal, simply engage the muscles that you would use to urinate. Keeping these muscles strong may make for an easier birth and less pregnancy related incontinence. Appropriate exercise for the second trimester: • Kegal exercises • pelvic tilts (with head elevated with pillows) • walking • swimming • easy yoga • strength training (lighter weights) As you move into your third trimester, you are now getting to the top of your pregnancy weight which may change the way you stand, how long you can sit, and your sense of balance. Aches and pains from your changing body are probably felt more now. Workouts now become about making you comfortable and making sure you simply maintain what you have. A safe abdominal exercise, which also makes your back feel great, is an all-fours cat stretch and contraction. To do: on a rug or sticky mat, go down onto hands and knees. Keeping back straight, simply pull your abdominals in towards your spine without altering the straight position of your back.. Repeat 10 times. From there, round your back up, like an angry cat, feeling a stretch over your shoulders and spine, then release. Repeat 5 times. Prenatal yoga is great for elevating your mood, may help you sleep better, and decreases pregnancy aches and pains. Just make sure you speak with your doctor first and remember to never start a new program while pregnant. Keeping up with what you're doing is super and will make for an easier birth and a faster recovery. Susanna Marchesa, FitOrbit Trainer  Created by legendary fitness legend Jake Steinfeld of Body by Jake, having an online personal trainer is the all-in-one complete solution that eliminates the guesswork and guarantees results! At FitOrbit, you'll get one-click access to the world's best fitness and weight loss online personal trainers anytime, everywhere!  
    • I came across this giveaway on instagram for a wedding video and photo sessions, Just wanted to share in case any new brides are looking for a video. Giveaway end on Sunday July 12 2020 https://www.instagram.com/p/CCY-JgHpNB-/?utm_source=ig_web_copy_link 
    • DIY Face Mask for those whom were affected by the social distancing of the COVID-19 the following links have videos showing instruction on how to make masks for the Brides, Grooms, Bride's maids, and Best men: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I2tCd6ODBas&feature=youtu.be   https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9Dy0tfcixl4&feature=youtu.be   It's quite nice. Happy sewing... ref: creator: Rosie Panda Cutie https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCcSKAtt3QWCNs7WGFdvrI4w/videos  
  • Topics

×
×
  • Create New...