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Mom bought the dress & HATES the idea of TTD - do it anyway?

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#1 islandbride317

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    Posted 20 April 2009 - 06:15 AM

    Hi, Ladies! Please bear with me if this topic has been discussed at length before...but I NEED ADVICE!

    My mom bought my dress for me (which, BTW, was only $350 on sale at David's Bridal) and even though I really am appreciative her gift, she was none-too-please tonight when I told her that I really think I want to wear it to do a TTD. She's rather old-school in her views, and instead of being excited for me, she thinks the idea, and I quote of "wading in the ocean and rolling around in the sand in the wedding dress for the sake of a few photos is preposterous!" Initially, before joining BDW, I sort of shared her thinking, but after seeing all of the awesome pics that members have shared, I think TTD pics are an amazing opportunity to have really beautiful photos captured for a lifetime of memories -- should I say to hell with it and do it against her wishes?!

    Maybe I can find a cheapie dress to do the TTD, but I am already going to have a 2nd shorter dress for the reception -- I don't know what to do!

    If anyone else has run into this problem, your advice (or what you did/will be doing) would be much-appreciated!


    #2 becks



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      Posted 20 April 2009 - 07:11 AM

      I say go for it. My FI was a bit opposed to the notion, but now that he's seen the photos he wished we'd done more. The photos will be amazing. I get that your mom is a bit shocked. But, really, what are you going to do with the dress? Save it for your daughter? Really? Would you have worn your mother's dress? And let's be honest - my dress came out cleaner after my TTD than it was before hand. And saltwater isn't bad for fabrics. You're just going to put it in a box and stare at it for the next 50 years... so stare at it and remember how much fun your TTD was, and how amazing it looked in the photos.

      Happily married since 2008

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      #3 michellepicksbrent

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        Posted 20 April 2009 - 07:17 AM

        Because your mother paid for the dress, I would respect her wishes and purchase a cheapie dress for a TTD photo session. At least this way all everyone will be happy, IMO.

        #4 TammyB

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          Posted 20 April 2009 - 07:38 AM

          Has your mom seen photos of TTD? I say if it's something you really want to do, then do it. Maybe once she sees how beautiful they are, she will be more open to the idea. Plus it's not really "Trashing" the dress, it will clean up just like new, so maybe explain that to her as well.

          Best of luck to you.

          #5 sofylina

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            Posted 20 April 2009 - 08:19 AM

            My mom hates the idea...but I guess I haven't really shown her the pictures from BDW. She is traditional in that way! Guess the name doesn't do it justice, rather takes away,,,,

            mmmmm, we could call it "shoreline canoodling"!!!
            50 guests joined us for our cruise wedding in Grand Cayman! Simply perfect!

            #6 Jennifer Davis

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              Posted 20 April 2009 - 08:24 AM

              Originally Posted by michellepicksbrent
              Because your mother paid for the dress, I would respect her wishes and purchase a cheapie dress for a TTD photo session. At least this way all everyone will be happy, IMO.
              I agree! Wear the shorter dress you are wearing at your reception for TTD! Keep Mom happy! Weddings are special for parents too.

              #7 Maybride2009

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                Posted 20 April 2009 - 09:00 AM

                My mom felt the same way so I purchased a second dress from Chrissy O for $40!
                Sale Wedding Gowns

                #8 Jamaica0619

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                  Posted 20 April 2009 - 09:29 AM

                  My mom thought I was totally crazy until I showed her some of the pictures that are on this site. Now she just thinks, I'm a little nuts. But, seeing the pictures was a huge help in swaying her since she had to admit that they were really beautiful and they fit well with where we are doing the wedding. So, I would suggest showing them to her, if you haven't already.

                  Also, my photographer actually calls these sessions "Love the Dress" becuase they really play off the wedding dress and since the dress is rarely ruined (unless the bride chooses to ruin it) as a result of the photo shoot.

                  If you cannot sway her, I would say try to find a cheaper TTD dress online or for sale second hand. At least this will help keep the peace - you get the pictures and you have not risked the dress
                  Don't walk behind me; I may not lead. Don't walk in front of me; I may not follow. Just walk beside me and be my friend. ~ Albert Camas

                  #9 Shannond4156

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                    Posted 20 April 2009 - 10:00 AM

                    My mom also felt the same way, but I think it has a lot more to do with the name then the actual idea of it. Once I showed her some pics and she met my photographer she became more excited about it. The photographer we are bringing with us also calls it Anti-Bridal which helped her get over it as well!

                    I agree with the others also though, if she still has these feelings wear your short dress for TTD or buy a cheaper dress, there are lots of options!

                    #10 BillysBride

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                      Posted 20 April 2009 - 10:03 AM

                      Umm..no girl, I am SO not going to tell you to base your actions on anyone else. Not even your mama. Do what YOU want to do. It was a gift and even beyond that..this is about YOU and FH. YOUR wedding experience should be everything YOU want it to be. If you want your TTD photos to be of you in your wedding gown, then do them in your wedding gown.

                      A gift should be given with no strings, which I'm sure is how she intended it. She would never look at you and say "I bought it, I forbid you to risk it" because it was given out of love and she realizes you are an adult. Do your best to educate her about the experience and let her know that it will likely be just fine regardless. If you still feel guilty about it, give her the $350 and do what you want.

                      Sorry if this sounds harsh, I am just a big believer in doing everything regarding the wedding based on our wishes as a couple and no one else. I love my mom and respect her more than ANYone on this earth (including FH), but in this subject, it's not about her and I can't make "big" decisions just based on her happiness.

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