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Ugh why cant things go the way they are suppose to

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#1 *HOLLY*

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    Posted 22 March 2009 - 11:04 PM

    Get a text from my future FIL saying my fiance and I need to chat with him. Turns out my fiance's brother who is going to Iraq may not be back till March 26th and we planned to set sail for our wedding on March 10th. At first we were looking at January but knew his brother would not be back till end of February early March. Im not to happy about moving the date but I do understand to see if his brother can make it. What pisses me off is that my finances dad is like I have to pay for two rooms one for me and Laurie and one for Tara, Kyle, and Megan. WTF you are paying for Megan who is not in the family yet?. Mind you they got engaged so fast and they are very young. Kyle is just now getting shipped off to Iraq how the heck is she going to handle him being gone and planning a wedding. Yeah I may be selfish but my FI and I have been talking about marriage for awhile and all of a sudden his brother gets engaged. Im not to excited I have to share the spotlight. Am I wrong and just being jealous/selfish? Kyle told us he was going to wait to ask her and he does it out of the blue. Im sick of trying to please everyone. My wedding is turning into a burden for me. That shouldn't be....

    #2 SAM

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      Posted 23 March 2009 - 06:28 PM

      Hello- I'm alittle confused is your FFIL expecting you and your FI to pay for his brother's Fi's room? or is he (FFIL) paying for it?

      #3 CaboBride2010

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        Posted 23 March 2009 - 06:38 PM

        I am also a little confused. Are you upset about postponing the wedding or about the other couple getting engaged? If it is about postponing the wedding I totally would be upset but if it means someone close to you will be there then it will definately be worth it :) but I dont think it is fair to get upset that another couple got engaged. It is not like they are going to get married the same day as you and steal the spotlight. He may have said he would wait but maybe the right time to ask his fiance to get married came up and that is his decision and I dont think he should be made to feel bad because he proposed when he thought it was right. Just my two cents. But sorry for the stress you are going through right before your wedding.

        #4 *HOLLY*

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          Posted 23 March 2009 - 11:50 PM

          No my FFIL is paying for the room for him and his wife plus another one for his daugher, son, and his son's now fiance. Honestly we would never get that same treatment we would have to pay I know it. To me that is not fair. My future BIL made a statement to me when I found out he was going to ask his girlfriend to marry him. At that time his family and I thought it was really early and he needed to think about it. I sat down with him and his mom and we said give it time you guys have only known each other for so long and she is only 18 and your 20. He comes back at me saying "Your just upset Im getting engaged before you and Adam" OMG WAY not true. That comment has stuck with me and it hurt me. It has gotten to the point my FI and I have been fighting a lot about wedding things. I really wanted this to be special but its turning out to be a huge fight.

          #5 CaboBride2010

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            Posted 23 March 2009 - 11:59 PM

            I think it is a comment you need to let go of to be totally honest. Yes it hurts, but there is no reason to have bad feelings over something that you and your FI and your BIL and his fiance should all be happy about. I was 20 when I got engaged and my family tried to tell me I was too young but to be honest I am totally in love and that is not their decision to make for me. If I know it is what is right in my life than that is what I will do. So please just dont let your BIL bother you about this, and dont make this a contest about who will have the "Best" wedding or anything like that which im sure this could turn into very quickly. It is an exciting time to be engaged and to see other family members get engaged so dont waste that time being angry and bitter with one another.

            I say just let it go completely, you dont gain anything from being upset about this and you dont need the stress.

            #6 DGG

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              Posted 24 March 2009 - 12:27 AM

              I think you need to take into account your FI's brother is in the army fighting for our country... I'm sure he is scared and doesn't feel like he can just wait around - if he is ready, then he probably wants to let his girlfriend know how he feels about her before he goes away for who knows how long and who knows what will happen there.. so I think it really isn't fair to expect him to take your or your FI's feelings into account when he is sacrificing so much and dealing with so much more than we can even imagine...
              Since they are young and FI is away fighting, maybe the only way they can come to your wedding is if your FIL pays for their room.. at least their dad is paying it so everyone can come to the wedding - some families won't do that.
              I'm sure you are frustrated and now is your time to be happy and enjoy the engagement - but it's easy to caught up in that.. realize the engagement and wedding means so much more and no one else's engagement should take away from that.. try to relax, you have a year to plan and enjoy being engaged :)
              From my experience, planning a wedding is one of the most stressful things we've dealt with yet - it's easy to get caught up in everything - but when you step back and realize how lucky you are to have someone you love enough to marry and spend the rest of your life with, that should mean more than everything else.. good luck :)

              #7 DGG

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                Posted 24 March 2009 - 12:27 AM

                sorry double post

                #8 jax_the_beach_bride

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                  Posted 24 March 2009 - 12:44 AM

                  its easy for me to just say relax and take a deep breath.. but sometimes thats all you need to do! you have a long time to make plans for your wedding.. and right now im 20 and my FI is 21 we are getting married in just over a month and we are totally happy and in love.. we have been living together for 2 years and have been together since highschool... mind you at the end of may and june we will be 21 and 22.. i guess my point with that is, it doesnt matter how old they are .. if he really wants to be with her and just felt it was the best time to ask her.. then be happy for them!!!.. its not like they are getting married on the same day as you and your FI! ... best wishes.. and i hope things turn out well for you!

                  Mr. & Mrs. Reid
                  All my life, I prayed for someone like you... and I thank God that I finally found you!


                  #9 Jen_S

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                    Posted 24 March 2009 - 11:21 AM

                    I would try to let the comment go and be happy for them. They should be aware of the commitment they are making and the best thing you can do is support them. There may be many of reasons why your FIL is paying for them I would not dwell on if he would have paid for you and your FI, possibly he knows you are both able to do is trying to make sure all the important people are there. We helped a number of the really important people go to our wedding because in the end family is all you have. Good Luck!!
                    Our Honeymoon In Ireland!!

                    #10 Maybride2009

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                      Posted 24 March 2009 - 11:46 AM

                      you know what...the SAME THING is happening to me

                      Chris and I have been dating 9 YEARS and just are about to get married and his brother asks his now financee after 8 MONTHS...they are getting married 3 months after us and my future MIL is paying for them both to come to our wedding but not giving us a PENNY for our wedding..not even a rehersal dinner that I asked for!
                      I try not to be selfish but her favoritism is sickening!

                      You are not alone..I know exactly how you feel..it sucks!

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