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We should have eloped ! I don't know if I can deal with all this any more !

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#1 Ayita

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    Posted 12 March 2009 - 12:03 PM

    I guess it's my turn, I need to vent !!!

    We're now 1 month and a half before the wedding, and we only have 10 people booked – over 32 that said they would come !! The wedding party is not even booked, only 2 BM on my side that's it. 2 weeks ago … first this couple from LA calling us to say they had a passport issue because FI did not file their marriage license … WTF ? OK he was the one the marry them, but then you take care of your business and you take your license and you register it… we did it for ourselves and mind you, we got married in the very Court by a Judge and they let US do it ! Why would FI have to do it ? For one. For two, where does this impede you to get a passport ? Ask it under your maiden name ! Then, FI's oldest brother lost his job. So he could not come no more. OK, we decided to pay for him. We booked the ticket, the room, and now what ? He does not have a passport either and did not even apply yet. Then, the wedding coordinator for the hotel quit, and now I'm left with no WC, 1 month and a half before my wedding ! I found another one quickly, this is just going to cost me the peanut of 2,500$ !!! Then We call FI's niece because we were about to book a room for her (she's a student) and her friend, and she says she's not coming ! We ended up booking her room AND ticket, and her friend definitely is not coming. Then I find out that FFIL is getting surgery for a hip replacement in the coming weeks !!! He "hopes to be OK for the wedding". What ? He's 82 ! Why don't you plan it AFTER the wedding, can't it wait 2 more month at this age ? But this whole thing is about family !?!?! This is why we did it in the first place ! We wanted to elope ! YOU were the one to say "some people want to be here" !

    And, 1 month and a half before, one the GM "might" come with his girlfriend, we don't know if the best woman is coming with a guest or not, and … Welll you know what I don't take no more guests ! I close my guest list ! I can't take it any more !

    And all this for what for God sake, WE'RE ALREADY MARRIED !! We had our legal day in February !

    Honestly, I'm on the verge of cancelling. I just purchased two dresses, the BM dresses, the FG dress, and the OOT bags content. Everything can still be resold. I have not paid anything else, but the honeymoon and I have a cancel for any reason insurance on this. I would just lose the non-refundable deposit of 1,500$ paid to the hotel. I could use all this money to travel to Maccu Picchu (always wanted to go), book a dream honeymoon in Tahiti, buy my FI a brand new motorcycle that he's been dreaming of for years… The only thing that is detaining me is that my parents are coming from France and my brother from Singapore. They were booked since even before I sent the save the date ! I feel I should be doing this for them, to the least. But boy, I am so discouraged. So hurt for FI whose family is bailing out. So hurt that people don't respect their word. I don't want to throw this party for them

    God I think I really want out. Or do I. I don't know. I know I want to cry that's for sure !

    Thanks for being there listening to this...

    #2 trance_angelx0x

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      Posted 12 March 2009 - 12:12 PM

      I honestly don't even know what to say here. People are retarded. Listen to your heart, what does it tell you? What does your FI think about all this?

      #3 Dana_C

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        Posted 12 March 2009 - 12:17 PM

        Oh no Ayita- I'm so sorry! I really think that for some reason people get really flaky and weird concering weddings. People who you'd never think would go back on their word, or back out suddenly have the lamest reasons for not being there for you. I really hope that venting and letting out some steam will clear your head so that you and your FI can do what's best for you. All of these people are supposed to be there for YOU GUYS- there supposed to celebrate with you and instead, they are making it hard for you to even be excited about celebrating your life together! Just remember that all that matters is you and your FI and everyone else who's happy to be there is a bonus- I know it's hard, but try not to let them take away from your day and the excitement of having people there who really care about you and your happiness...

        #4 DanielleNDerek

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          Posted 12 March 2009 - 12:28 PM

          Sorry Ayita. But you just need to think of what is important to you and that should be your family and friends that are going and just screw the other people. Dont give them another thought. The people that are going are the ones that should matter. And for the passport issues with the LA couple and fi's bro, that's on them to handle their situations. Not on you guys. You can be worried about them getting their passports.

          try to look at the big picture you and your fi having a beautiful ceremony in a gorgeous place.
          ***Married November 6, 2008***Gavin Born February 28th, 2010***
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          #5 ikupoo

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            Posted 12 March 2009 - 12:51 PM

            That's just lame! I'm angry for you! I hope it all turns out well at the end

            #6 mich999

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              Posted 12 March 2009 - 12:54 PM

              I would talk to your parents and brother and get their thoughts. Maybe you can rearrange and have them meet you in Macchu Pichu instead! It certainly doesn't seem worth all these issues to spend all this money on something that people don't seem to care about. I know all weddings come with bumps and stress, but this seems like way more than usual. But take a step back and decide what you really want exclusive of these problems and go from there. Good luck!

              #7 Beautiful Bride

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                Posted 12 March 2009 - 01:47 PM

                I feel your pain Ayita!

                This about u guys. If people can't get their ducks in a row then that's too bad, and if some people have their priorites screwed up u can't help it. Take a deep Breath and enjoy your day in the sun!

                I'm just getting started, and I think I'm going to alleviate one of my maids of her duties and our friendship because she's making it all about her. I have an identical twin sister who is my MOH and my friend is mad that she wasn't chosen. I shared a womb with my sis for 9 months...HELLOOOOO!!!!

                Good Luck with everything!

                #8 Cattie

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                  Posted 12 March 2009 - 02:08 PM

                  Ayita, this so sucks, but I know what you are going through concerning the FI's family.

                  When we first said about a Bermuda wedding. His Uncle and Cousin's family said they will be there if they have to fly there! Well, after all that talk, they told us back in November they wouldn't be going. Then his BFF can't go cause his FI had back surgery in September and he had to pay all the bills while she was on medical. Well she's only been back to work since January!!

                  I honestly would do what YOU and your FI want to. See how much it would cost to have a small vow thingy in Macchu Pichu and see if you can change your parents and brothers arrangements to be there for a short stay. Then finish off your honeymoon.

                  To be honest, it doesn't look like this is a priority for his family. I hate to say it, but I totally understand. I've noticed with planning my own wedding, that people flake out at the word wedding!! If it was me, I'd do everything I could to be there for a family member. We already take a yearly vacation, I'd just change it to incorporate there wedding!! It's not quantum physics!!

                  #9 tylersgirl

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                    Posted 12 March 2009 - 02:42 PM

                    I am so sorry this is happening Ayita! You don't deserve this! You need to do what is best for you-not for anyone else. I agree with the poster above that said to have your family from France and Singapore meet y'all at Macchu Picchu-that is what I would do...Good luck hun...***hugs***

                    #10 kiki317

                    • Jr. Member
                    • 162 posts

                      Posted 12 March 2009 - 02:58 PM

                      2 words for you- F&%$ THEM!!! My FI's family is doing the same thing. This is his second marriage so nobosy really cares. The only person from his side is his Dad. We're only having about 12 people total (including ourselves) and the only people booked so far is my mom and step-dad. My dad is crying poverty, but can go out and golf twice a week and now my sister (MOH) may lose her job and she probably won't come either- which blows because A. she's my siser- and B. her husband is the best man.

                      Sorry i didn't mean to make this about me- Hoepfully you see you are not the only one and i have decided that i don't care anymore- this day is about the bride and groom. screw everyone else. try to relax and not let any of the bull shit get to you. (i know it's hard) wine helps!!

                      I wish you the best of luck with everything- try to stay positive!

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