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Bridal Shower...who to invite/not invite?


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#1 JoLo908

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    Posted 02 March 2009 - 03:16 PM

    My MOH is planning my bridal shower, and since we are having a DW, many guests will not be traveling with us to Mexico... is it still proper etiquette to invite them to the shower? I almost think I will feel bad if they are not there, because they are still friends/family... what is the right thing, not rude thing to do?? I also do not want to come off as a gift whore lol... so.... help??!! suggestions?!?

    #2 Soon To Be Mrs. Gomez

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      Posted 02 March 2009 - 03:29 PM

      I think traditionally your are only supposed to invite those guests coming to the wedding, but with a destination wedding, I'm not sure. In my case, many guests cannot make it to the wedding because of financial reasons, but have all expressed an interest in celebrating with me in terms of parties etc.. so for my bridal shower, my mom is inviting all family and close friends.

      #3 lolkitteh

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        Posted 02 March 2009 - 03:32 PM

        If they have received an invitation to the wedding, I see no reason not to also invite them to the shower, even if they choose not to come.

        I would not put someone on the shower guest list who did not/will not also receive an invitation to the wedding. You will *always* run the risk of appearing to be a gift-grabber when that happens.

        If you plan to have an AHR, I think that you can also invite someone who is invited the the AHR but not necessarily the DW. However, you might want to wait until you send your AHR invites or STDs before you invite anyone to the shower - that way, it doesn't create an awkward moment for someone who receives a shower invite but not a wedding invite.

        In summary, I believe the proper etiquette is to only invite people to your shower who have also been invited to the wedding and/or AHR. The only exception to this is perhaps an "office shower" type situation.

        #4 big3n09

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          Posted 02 March 2009 - 03:37 PM

          My girlfriend had a DW last year and most of our friends did not go for financial reasons but I expressed to them since they we're not going at least we should do a shower for her so we helped he sister(MOH) throw her a shower. I think that if they are you friends they would want to do something for you or with you eventhough they can't make the wedding. Are you having a party before you go or a party when you return, if so I would have a traditional bridal shower and if not and you feel bad about it see what you MOH thinks or if she can find out how your friends feel. You may be surprised that they really want to do something since they aren't coming, like you said they still are your family/friends.
          4/1/11 in St. Kitts at the Marriott I married my best-friend!!!

          #5 DanielleNDerek

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            Posted 02 March 2009 - 05:32 PM

            Did you invite them to the wedding and they just arent coming? I think if you invited them to the wedding and they cant make it you can definately still invite them to the shower. That's what I did.
            ***Married November 6, 2008***Gavin Born February 28th, 2010***
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            #6 tylersgirl

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              Posted 02 March 2009 - 05:36 PM

              I was told you are supposed to invite whoever you invited to your wedding to your shower. If they weren't invited to your wedding, then it is rude to invite them to your shower. If you are having an AHR it is fine to invite anyone that you invited to your AHR to your bridal shower. Hope that helped you girl!

              #7 JaimeLynne

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                Posted 02 March 2009 - 05:56 PM

                Good question! I'm soooo confused on this whole shower issue!

                I agree that you should only invite guests who were invited to the wedding - but in my case we invited over 100 people, and so I can't possibly invite them all! I think we are having 3 showers - a Couples Shower, a Bridal Shower and then the Bachelorette/Lingerie shower.

                ~ Jaime & Martin ~
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                We had 24 people attend our wedding in Las Caletas, Mexico on May 24th, 2009!

                We all stayed at The Marriott in P.V., and Honeymooned at The Royal Plantation in Ochos Rios, Jamaica!


                #8 JoLo908

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                  Posted 02 March 2009 - 06:11 PM

                  I would only have MOH invite the ladies who were invited to the wedding... We have lots of family (aunts, cousins, and even some great friends) who will not be attending the wedding for financial reasons, but I think it will be sad not to have these close friends at the shower... a few of the girls I have been great friends with since i was 10, and they cannot make it for job/ money reasons... so I guess it will be okay to invite them!

                  #9 Amarillis

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                    Posted 02 March 2009 - 06:20 PM

                    Quote:
                    Originally Posted by lolkitteh
                    If they have received an invitation to the wedding, I see no reason not to also invite them to the shower, even if they choose not to come.

                    I would not put someone on the shower guest list who did not/will not also receive an invitation to the wedding. You will *always* run the risk of appearing to be a gift-grabber when that happens.

                    If you plan to have an AHR, I think that you can also invite someone who is invited the the AHR but not necessarily the DW. However, you might want to wait until you send your AHR invites or STDs before you invite anyone to the shower - that way, it doesn't create an awkward moment for someone who receives a shower invite but not a wedding invite.

                    In summary, I believe the proper etiquette is to only invite people to your shower who have also been invited to the wedding and/or AHR. The only exception to this is perhaps an "office shower" type situation.

                    I agree entirely!

                    If they have received an invitation to the wedding
                    then they should receive an invitation...
                    • the shower
                    • your at home reception
                    • stagette

                    in my opinion, the invitiation to the wedding signals to everyone invited that other invites are coming... and, I don't think it is our place as brides to decide whom can/and cannot afford to go to our DW... thus I had 84 guests and the time of my life!

                    *only exception is an office shower.... one cannot be expected to invite their entire office.

                    #10 JoLo908

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                      Posted 03 March 2009 - 02:07 AM

                      Totally true... I am assuming stagette is a bachelorette party? I am a Jersey girl!!! And I thought the same exact thing about the shower... I want everyone to be included, especially those that cannot attend the wedding... I think we will have to have a smaller number for the bachelorette party though, because I feel like it would be out of control if we have everyone!!!! But I guess the more the merrier...




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