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Amount of ppl going - am I too sensitive??

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#1 jmb0902

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    Posted 29 January 2009 - 06:04 AM

    From the beginning I have always wanted a DW, but now that it seems so cost prohibitive so most family members and friends can't make it! I am feeling a little guilty and/or scared that I will be sad to only have mine/his immediate family there. That's all I really want there, but some of you guys have 100 ppl going! Is it strange to only have a handful of ppl? Am I being too sensitive about this? Thanks

    #2 MarieSam

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      Posted 29 January 2009 - 08:57 AM

      Unfortunately, I think a "less than expected" guest list is going to become a recurring theme for many brides as the world economy continues to nose dive.

      For many couples a destination wedding is something planned months in advance, sometimes years. But who knew 12 months ago, or even 6 months ago that money would be so tight and employment shaky for so many people?

      Hon, I know it sucks that many people won't be able to afford to make it to your wedding, I think every bride deals with similar issues. My FI's best friend/best man will likely not be making it for that same reason (his wife is also a BM, their son a Junior GM, and their daughter my FG -- yep sucks!!!) BUT if a DW is what you really want and you truly only care that your immediate families are present, then you shouldn't change your plans. This is your day, keep your sights set on the "must haves" on your guest list.

      Yes there are some who have huge guest lists, if all my peeps come through we will have 100+ people, right now we're at about 70. There are some things that are good and bad about that -- such a huge crowd should make for a great party, but I'm the type who will stress that all 100 are having a good time and will probably let so much pass me by A smaller wedding on the other hand gives you a sense of intimacy, and with less people you will likely capture and remember every special touch, smile, laugh, word, etc. Yanno the important moments?

      All weddings are different and special in their own unique ways, embrace those who will be joining you and know that no matter who is there, you will have a freakin fabulous time

      #3 Trice

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        Posted 29 January 2009 - 09:20 AM

        No, I only have 25 booked. I expect only 7 more to book. We originally planned to elope then decided on a DW. I never wanted 100 people at my wedding. This way only the people close to us will be there with us. That is what makes it special to me.

        #4 Erin1980

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          Posted 29 January 2009 - 12:28 PM

          100 ppl? Holy cripes. We invited I think um...20? Less than 20 will come. I'm estimating at around 15ish at the moment. And that sounds FABULOUS to me.

          Think of it this way...you're having a DW because you want something small and intimate, special and frozen in time. Your wedding will be so special that only the fewest and the closest get to be there to witness YOUR private moment.

          And by the way, the smaller the group, the easier it is to plan a private excursion or a sunset cruise or some other "thank you" gift for your guests (if you were thinking of doing that).

          #5 Betsy


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            Posted 29 January 2009 - 12:46 PM

            Don't worry - at the end of the day your wedding is about you and your FI. Have you ever been to a wedding where there was 200+ people there and you feel like you don't really get to talk to the bride and groom? Well that was part of the reason we decided on a DW - the people who we love and cherish the most were there and we got to spend an entire week with them! In this case it is the quality of time you get to spend with your family and loved ones - not the quantity of people who will be at your wedding. As the date gets closer and closer more people could still book too, at least that is what happened in my case. And you can always have an AHR (at home reception) when you get back if some people weren't able to make it. Good Luck!

            #6 ashley9078

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              Posted 29 January 2009 - 12:51 PM

              I'm in the same boat with you. We were hoping to have the majority of those invited come (about 60) But now with 5 months to go we are looking at about 15-20. Mostly immediate family and a couple friends. FI has NONE of his friends coming and I feel horrible about that. But the more I think about it all and the closer it gets I'm glad it will be small!! Less stress and $$ and more time to spend with those who are really most important. We may have a celebration party at home when we get back but that's still up in the air. Depends on cash when we get back but that is always an option if you are real upset about it.

              #7 kiki317

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                Posted 29 January 2009 - 12:55 PM

                I feel the same way- My Fiance's sisterscan't even come, I was really upset about that (but he's fine with it). He's says it's all about us- and he's absolutely right! We originally weren't going to invite anyone! But i firgured my parents may be upset and i want them there, so we only have about 12 people going. We're going to have a party when we get back for all the family and friends who couldn't make it. So i've stopped worrying about it!!

                #8 sunsetbride1

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                  Posted 29 January 2009 - 02:35 PM

                  There are lots of us on here that are going to end up with smaller weddings. Right now, we have 10 rooms booked incl. ours.. which equals out to maybe 15-20 people. I am not counting on anyone else outside of those that have already booked their rooms to be able to come; I will know for sure when I send out my official invites this weekend.

                  IMO, it's nothing to be sad or fret about.. It's the nature of a DW and just think of how much time you will be able to spend with those that do come if you have less people.

                  #9 Cindy&London

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                    Posted 29 January 2009 - 02:44 PM

                    We are looking at maybe 25-30 ppl coming. I wanted a small wedding on the beach and that's what I'm getting! I hate when I go to weddings and there are 100+ ppl and half of them are friends of the bride/grooms parents. Thats EXACTLY what I didn't want. I want the people who matter most to me in my life to be part of my special day and that's it.. I know it sounds selfish, but I figure it's our day and we should have what we want. Don't worry, the people who really want to be there will be there and you will have the time of your life!!

                    #10 Rhonda

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                      Posted 29 January 2009 - 03:54 PM

                      When I first started planning, I wanted to invite almost everyone and "hoped for the best" knowing that many people would not be able to make it. This was before the whole economy turned around. We ended up inviting over 200 people. As the day is getting closer, for some reason, I am wishing that I had limited my guest list...it seems more people than I expect ARE actually coming! As of today, we have 76 people coming and we're expecting a few more... So, you may be surprised at who actually comes!
                      Just a thought..if you want more of your friends/family to come, it might be a good idea to wait a little longer to get married to allow people time to save. We gave our guests almost 1 years' notice...not sure if that made a difference or not.

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