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tvt

to invite all, or to not invite all

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We had this issue too. FI has a huge fam and mine is tiny. We just invited my parents and bro (all gp's are gone) and his "first tier" fam. That means only his parents, bro, gma and gpa, and aunts/uncles first cousins. Sounds like a ton but it's better than inviting all 400 of his family members.

 

We did the "who would I have coffee or a beer with alone" rule. Would either FI or I sit and chat with X if we weren't being forced together by a family event.

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you guys are so lucky. I don't have a choice. Erik wants a small wedding but I have a large family and my mom wants me to give everyone an invitation, though I know most won't go (they told me they won't but of course that could change). So I'm listening to my mother.

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Quote:
Originally Posted by tvt View Post
Kooko for coco puffs. I like that analogy!! I'm the same way - damned if I do, damned if I don't. I'm very close to a few select aunts/uncles and not close at all with the rest. But I know if I invite some and not all people are going to be upset.

I am leaning towards "the more the merrier" and inviting them all. My main concern is what happens if only Joe's immediate family shows up and they make up 4 of 30-40 guests. I know people say that DW guests get to know each other fast, but his parents are VERY quite and pretty much the opposite temperment of the rest of my family. I'm mostly worried about them and feeling left out....
I'm in the same boat, only reversed. Frank's family is huge and extremely close. He is inviting about 4-5 people for every 1 person I invite. Of our 40ish guests, 10 will be mine and the rest will be him.

As for getting to know each other--- don't worry about it. They aren't there to meet everyone else you invited. They are there to spend time with you! As long as you spend some time with your guests, they will be fine and have a great time. And just like any other social situation, they will either start meeting other people in their own, or they'll be fine left to their own devices.

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Rob and I are inviting @ 150 people, but figure at most half will make the trek. A helpful hint that worked for me, since I'm trying to do a room block, when I made my invite list, I put people into rooms. I'm more concerned with how many rooms I will need than actually how many people will come since my wedding is at and AI.

 

Good luck!

 

smile36.gif

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yeah we invited as if it were a "normal wedding" and lots more people are coming than we expected- which is fine with us, but if you really want a small wedding then beware...............

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Originally Posted by NHPT View Post
yeah we invited as if it were a "normal wedding" and lots more people are coming than we expected- which is fine with us, but if you really want a small wedding then beware...............
Quote:
Originally Posted by NABUMBAH View Post
We invited everyone ... only expected about 75.. and we had over 130. So just beware if you do!
OMG, don't tell me this! We just mailed our STD's last week and I mailed about 125 (1 per address) I think its about 250 ppl. We are expecting 150 and that is what we are using to budget. Oh, I hope I didn't screw up!doh.gif

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Invite the people you couldn't imagine not being at your wedding. Feelings get hurt no matter what you do so leave out the ones you think are obligatory but don't need to see that day. If the ratio of your family to his bothers you just don't call attention to it, don't separate seating into "bride" and "groom", etc. And I agree, your guests social skills, or lack thereof, aren't your concern. Don't sweat the small stuff, it's your party!!

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