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And I thought a DW would be easy.......Please help!


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#1 pearlygirl

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    Posted 17 November 2008 - 07:01 PM

    I thought a DW would be easier than a traditional wedding, but after reading through so many posts, I'm getting more confused! Don't get me wrong, this is a great site with tons and tons of information, but I just realized there are a lot of things I didn't think of...... I thought I'd book the trip and wedding day/time and just figure it out once we got there and it would be relatively stress-free.

    I posted a few questions a couple hours ago, and after reading through this site (instead of working), I have some more. Wedding is set for February 3, 2009 at the Riu Negril-Royal Package. Any help is appreciated!

    1. Do I need to provide my own vows? We're having the Civil Ceremony, but I've seen other girls say they've provided their own vows. Should I be working on some vows? Do they play a "Wedding song" of your choice in the middle of the ceremony like a traditional wedding?

    2. Can I have the "sand cermony" at the Riu? If so, do I need to write something for that?

    3. Cocktail Hour.....why would you have to pay extra per person if this is an all-inclusive resort and all of my guests are staying here?

    4. Reception......Do I need to reserve my restaurant w/ the WC now, or can we do that once we arrive at the hotel?

    5. We're not having any attendants.....I've been the MOH in a few weddings, plus my FI's sister is a very good friend, I'd never be able to pick an MOH without hurt feelings.....So who are my 4 witnesses? Can it just be our parents? Do they just sign some papers?

    I'm sorry I have so many questions, but we just moved our wedding date up a year and just booked the trip last week so I'm totally freaking out big time!!!



    #2 bpayne

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      Posted 17 November 2008 - 07:09 PM

      Finally someone with as many questions as I have. I'm with you 100% with all of your concerns. Hopefully we can help each other out seeing how we are getting married at the same location. It's nice to finally hear of someone else getting married in Negril.

      #3 Ayita

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        Posted 17 November 2008 - 07:13 PM

        Hello,

        yes it can be a little overwhelming when you start going through this forum but after the first few days (weeks ?) it gets better and it really helps... actually it helps you seeing things you would never have thought about before, it gives ideas, AND you don't have to do everything that the other girls are doing. Actually, when you make a poll you would be surprised how many different brides are in there ! Not one does the same then the other...

        I can only offer advise on the point 5... you can have no attendants or to the contrary, as many as you want. You can pick 10 if this is the case ! The party does no have to be even (your FI can have only 1...) And you don't have to distinguish one between them, either ! They can all be MOH, or all BM (this is what I did : all of them are BM). Also, being a MOH is not necessarily a favor you have to return (it depends on your relationship to the brides you've been the MOH of course). My BM are none of the friends that I've been BM for... So really, do as you feel ! If you want your parents to be your witnesses in order to avoid hurting feelings, it's fine. If you pick only 1... it's fine. If you pick 10... it's fine too !

        This should not be a thing to stress on

        #4 Anna83

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          Posted 17 November 2008 - 07:43 PM

          1. Do I need to provide my own vows? We're having the Civil Ceremony, but I've seen other girls say they've provided their own vows. Should I be working on some vows? Do they play a "Wedding song" of your choice in the middle of the ceremony like a traditional wedding?

          You don't have to write you own vows. They have a regular ceremony that they will provide. If you want something specific, then you should write your own vows. I'm sure they would play a song if you wanted them to.

          2. Can I have the "sand cermony" at the Riu? If so, do I need to write something for that?

          You can do the sand ceremony. If you do it, I would recomend that you wrote something for it, I'm not sure what they would provide. I know you can find a lot of stuff online for this.

          3. Cocktail Hour.....why would you have to pay extra per person if this is an all-inclusive resort and all of my guests are staying here?

          I can't answer this, I don't understand either. I thing you are better off just picking a bar and telling your guests to meet there. That way, your drinks will be included.

          4. Reception......Do I need to reserve my restaurant w/ the WC now, or can we do that once we arrive at the hotel?

          I'm getting married a Riu Ocho Rios, and I have been trying to reserve my restaurant w/ my WC, but she won't get back to me. I would try to arrange it asap to ensure you get what you want.

          5. We're not having any attendants.....I've been the MOH in a few weddings, plus my FI's sister is a very good friend, I'd never be able to pick an MOH without hurt feelings.....So who are my 4 witnesses? Can it just be our parents? Do they just sign some papers?

          It can definately just be your parents. I don't think you even have to have 4. We are having my brother and FI's sister be our witnesses since we don't have a wedding party.


          Your wedding can be as simple or extravagent as you want it to be. You wouldn't have to plan anything ahead if you don't want, as long as your an easy going bride! The resort is fully prepared to take care of your wedding without you doing everything yourself.

          Good luck planning!

          #5 chicklet

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            Posted 17 November 2008 - 07:51 PM

            Quote:
            Originally Posted by Anna83
            1. Do I need to provide my own vows? We're having the Civil Ceremony, but I've seen other girls say they've provided their own vows. Should I be working on some vows? Do they play a "Wedding song" of your choice in the middle of the ceremony like a traditional wedding?

            You don't have to write you own vows. They have a regular ceremony that they will provide. If you want something specific, then you should write your own vows. I'm sure they would play a song if you wanted them to.

            2. Can I have the "sand cermony" at the Riu? If so, do I need to write something for that?

            You can do the sand ceremony. If you do it, I would recomend that you wrote something for it, I'm not sure what they would provide. I know you can find a lot of stuff online for this.

            3. Cocktail Hour.....why would you have to pay extra per person if this is an all-inclusive resort and all of my guests are staying here?

            I can't answer this, I don't understand either. I thing you are better off just picking a bar and telling your guests to meet there. That way, your drinks will be included.

            4. Reception......Do I need to reserve my restaurant w/ the WC now, or can we do that once we arrive at the hotel?

            I'm getting married a Riu Ocho Rios, and I have been trying to reserve my restaurant w/ my WC, but she won't get back to me. I would try to arrange it asap to ensure you get what you want.

            5. We're not having any attendants.....I've been the MOH in a few weddings, plus my FI's sister is a very good friend, I'd never be able to pick an MOH without hurt feelings.....So who are my 4 witnesses? Can it just be our parents? Do they just sign some papers?

            It can definately just be your parents. I don't think you even have to have 4. We are having my brother and FI's sister be our witnesses since we don't have a wedding party.


            Your wedding can be as simple or extravagent as you want it to be. You wouldn't have to plan anything ahead if you don't want, as long as your an easy going bride! The resort is fully prepared to take care of your wedding without you doing everything yourself.

            Good luck planning!
            I agree with Anna. Your wedding is exactly what you want it to be. You may choose to do things like write vows, make your bouquets, arrange your music for ceremony or put together a welcome mixer. Its all what you wish to do and how much you feel like being involved.
            For the most part, the resort will do the majority for you. Sit back and relax, it sounds worse than it actually is once you get going.

            #6 ErinB

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              Posted 17 November 2008 - 08:36 PM

              Quote:
              Originally Posted by Anna83
              1. Do I need to provide my own vows? We're having the Civil Ceremony, but I've seen other girls say they've provided their own vows. Should I be working on some vows? Do they play a "Wedding song" of your choice in the middle of the ceremony like a traditional wedding?

              Most resorts have basic vows that your WC can send you. Jamaica is a Christian country and our sample vows were pretty religious. If you do not want a religious ceremony, you might want to look for something more in line with your particular beliefs. You might just want something more personal. There are lots of resources online. You can also search the forum.

              As long as your ceremony is fairly brief, you can do whatever you want with it. However, if you want a particular song played, you probably need to bring it on CD with you or be sure the musicians you hire can play it. The resort should have its own sound system.


              2. Can I have the "sand cermony" at the Riu? If so, do I need to write something for that?

              The sand ceremony kind of takes the place of the unity candle. More brides are doing this, so you should check with your WC to see if they have a standard set up. Again, you can write or "borrow" some words to say at this time, or simply play a song.

              3. Cocktail Hour.....why would you have to pay extra per person if this is an all-inclusive resort and all of my guests are staying here?

              Often, you only have to pay if you have more than X number of guests, usually 10. This is because your reception/cocktail hour etc. requires extra set up and staffing that is outside of the normal operation of the resort. They have to set up tables, cook specific foods, have servers, etc. just for you.

              4. Reception......Do I need to reserve my restaurant w/ the WC now, or can we do that once we arrive at the hotel?

              Arrange this ASAP! Many resorts have multiple weddings in a day so by waiting, you could end up with no choices.

              5. We're not having any attendants.....I've been the MOH in a few weddings, plus my FI's sister is a very good friend, I'd never be able to pick an MOH without hurt feelings.....So who are my 4 witnesses? Can it just be our parents? Do they just sign some papers?

              Your witnesses just sign your marriage certificate. We only had 2. Check with your WC because I heard somewhere that your witnesses couldn't have the same last name. I don't know if this is true because it wasn't an issue for us.


              Your wedding can be as simple or extravagant as you want it to be. You wouldn't have to plan anything ahead if you don't want, as long as your an easy going bride! The resort is fully prepared to take care of your wedding without you doing everything yourself.

              Good luck planning!

              Well said! The important thing is that you enjoy your day. I did very few things for my wedding. We went with the basic free package on everything. It was also easy for me to do extras because we only had 30 guests. If we had even 50, my budget would have not allowed for all that I did.

              The only reason to bring stuff down with you is if you want something personalized or very specific.
              I know it seems overwhelming, but just take a deep breath and relax. I had some frenzied moments during planning, but my wedding day was clam and relaxed. There were a few minor details that were overlooked, but my guests had no clue. The main thing is to enjoy yourself!

              #7 geology_rocks

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                Posted 17 November 2008 - 09:41 PM

                Once you have your location picked, the rest of the planning should be simple! If you're stressing out, you're thinking too much!!!

                1. Do I need to provide my own vows? We're having the Civil Ceremony, but I've seen other girls say they've provided their own vows. Should I be working on some vows? Do they play a "Wedding song" of your choice in the middle of the ceremony like a traditional wedding?
                You do not need to do your own vows. We requested a civil ceremony but ended up with a minister performing the ceremony. If you want something specific, write your own vows, but if you're not picky don't worry about it! We hired the steel drum band (which was awesome!!) and they played before the wedding, the wedding song as we were walking to the gazebo, and song when we were signing the papers and for a little while after the ceremony... Highly recommended!

                2. Can I have the "sand cermony" at the Riu? If so, do I need to write something for that?
                You sure can! We brought a little paragraph that we found on the internet (google is your friend!) The minister took the idea and did his thing with it, much nicer than the paragraph that I provided.

                3. Cocktail Hour.....why would you have to pay extra per person if this is an all-inclusive resort and all of my guests are staying here?
                Are you wanting to have a private reception for an additional cost or are you going with the included dinner? Honestly, I'm glad I didn't pay for a "cocktail hour". Honestly, There are so many bars scattered throughout the property that you can just congregate around one of them. That's what our guests did after dinner. Ifyou're having a private reception, it may be worth the fee as the nearest bar was fairly far from the Plantation (at ROR anyway.)


                4. Reception......Do I need to reserve my restaurant w/ the WC now, or can we do that once we arrive at the hotel?
                If you want a private reception, you should reserve the restaurant ASAP. If you're opting for the included dinner, no need to reserve anything!

                5. We're not having any attendants.....I've been the MOH in a few weddings, plus my FI's sister is a very good friend, I'd never be able to pick an MOH without hurt feelings.....So who are my 4 witnesses? Can it just be our parents? Do they just sign some papers?
                You can have anyone over 18 as your witnesses. In Jamaica, you only need 2 witnesses. Your witnesses can be family and have the same last name as you, no problems.


                Hope that helps!!!

                #8 pearlygirl

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                  Posted 17 November 2008 - 09:44 PM

                  Thanks for all the info and advice, ladies! I'm relieved to know that most everything can be simply planned w/ the WC at the resort. You're all a great help!

                  Brie

                  #9 Soon2beWed09

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                    Posted 18 November 2008 - 12:56 PM

                    What is the sand cermony?

                    #10 Soon2beWed09

                    Soon2beWed09
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                      Posted 18 November 2008 - 12:58 PM

                      Please let me know ho everything go I need help 2..lol also make sure u send me pictures of ur wedding I'm getting married @ RIU Negril 2.... :) (I finally found someone that's getting married at this resort)




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