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Family Not Supportive of Riviera Maya Wedding

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#11 sdbtrflygrl

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  • 73 posts

    Posted 08 October 2008 - 12:28 AM

    Thank you girls!

    I needed this tonight. :)

    Myen your Yorkie is so cute...I have one too. He has been trying to cheer me up all night haha.

    I am going to have a serious chat with our family. They need to understand that this is about us!


    #12 Hartyt509

    • Sr. Member
    • 2,262 posts

      Posted 08 October 2008 - 09:01 AM

      Oh this is an easy one lol

      You sit them all down and say "You've had your wedding so piss right off - either support me or don't i'm not changing my mind"

      We had that 2 luckily I have no fear of telling people to "poke off" if they whinge at me about something that is in truth bugger all to do with them.

      Its as the other girls say come, it would be nice to see you, but if you don't shame you missed a good wedding.

      I was hoping FMIL would bitch so I could tell her to piss of unfortunately she booked!! bollox lmao

      #13 DanielleNDerek

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      • 18,452 posts

        Posted 08 October 2008 - 09:21 AM

        Your so not alone on this one there's been so many posts from girls who've had family/friends give them a hard time about their dw. Most of my fam and friends thought it was great and would be fun. My one set of grandparents were bringing up all of the bad things at first but are now excited to go. My other set of grandparents, well really just my grandmother gave me a pretty hard time and they cant make it so they are still giving me a hard time. But when they bring it up I just say to them, it's what i want and dont worry i'll have plenty of pics to show you when i get back. I know a dw is what me and fi want. I would be so miserable and stressed if i was getting married at home. If you know a dw is right for you than stick to your guns.
        ***Married November 6, 2008***Gavin Born February 28th, 2010***
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        #14 Solidshan83

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        • 103 posts

          Posted 08 October 2008 - 10:03 AM

          I agree with all the girls as well. My Dad did not like the idea of having the wedding in Mexico, because my grandmother would not be able to come. My grandmother was 85 and in the back of my mind I did not think she was going to make it until June of 2009 so I went out to local halls and yes are right...they are like 3 times the price. $10,000 for just FOOD!! My fiance and I did not have that type of money to spend and my parents or his parents were not paying for it...so we were going to have the wedding at home to make my Dad and Grandmother happy. I got so UPSET and stressed out I finally said NO. It's my day and we are going to get married in Mexico. The tears and the money of getting married at home are just not worth it. My grandmother passed in April of this year and we would have changed all of our plans FOR ONE PERSON who is not even here anymore. Not be selfish...but you gotta do what makes you happy. Paying for a wedding is not easy! BUt atleast you can enjoy more then 4 hours and so can your family! THE END! Hope you make the right decision and know they it is OK to be HAPPY!

          #15 zorlack76

          • Jr. Member
          • 259 posts

            Posted 08 October 2008 - 11:40 AM

            Everyone here makes good points. I just told them that since they are not paying for the wedding, and we are, we make the decisions. They can come if you want, or not...its up to them. But if they dont want to support us, our wedding, and our new life together, then they can pretty much expect the same response from us. I told my family that it is about half the price to have a DW than to have it here in our home town, so if they wanted to pay for the entire thing (WITH OUR SPECIFICATIONS) then thats fine...we would just extendour honeymoon for another 2 weeks with all the extra money we would have.

            #16 niels408

            • Jr. Member
            • 327 posts

              Posted 08 October 2008 - 11:56 AM

              Yep, seems we've all gone thru some sort of similar situation. I just cried this week about it bc while were trying to finalize reservations & get final room pymnts people are complaining & some even not going now....my fiance is great & just reminds me this was our choice in the beginning, whoever else can come will come, but all that matters is that he & i are there. Good luck!

              #17 Mystic

              • Jr. Member
              • 254 posts

                Posted 08 October 2008 - 01:42 PM

                It drives me crazy when people list all the things that could go wrong with your destination wedding, and it usually comes from people who have never even been to one. I've started to reply back with rediculous things that could go wrong at a hometown wedding. The venue could get struck by lightening and burn down, there could be a massive pile up on the highway and everyone gets stuck in traffic, everyone at the wedding could get food poisoning...

                Do you have an actual date and resort booked yet? My parents were all for the destination wedding idea, but my fiance's family didn't seem to take us seriously. It seems like once we had a date and time formally booked, they realized it was really going to happen and are actually excited about it now. Now we are having the opposite problem-- they are inviting too many people! Maybe this could be the case with your family once they realize that you WILL be getting married in Mexico, no matter how much they b*tch and moan about it?

                This day IS about you and you are allowed to be selfish! Especially if you are the ones paying for it. The people who matter most will find a way to get there! Stay firm. You and your fiance should have the wedding YOU want!

                #18 chickadee024

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                • 140 posts

                  Posted 08 October 2008 - 01:51 PM

                  Screw everyone else! It's your wedding and you'll go where you want to.

                  My great-uncle scoffed at my decision for Jamaica. He said that I might as well be getting married at a dump on the south-side of Chicago. Apparently in his mind they are equal in safety. All this, despite the fact that he's never been to Jamaica and has no experience to speak of. Fine. Don't come. No skin off my nose. Also, my grandma said that she won't be able to travel that far. Well, she really never travels more than 5 miles from her house, which would really limit my choices were I to have it here in the states anyways. I'll make sure there are lots of pictures and video.

                  Well, I think those of us who do go to Jamaica will have much more fun without the naysayers and whiners. The same for your wedding. If the people who bitched about it don't come, you'll probably end up having more fun. Plus, as a previous poster said, you're paying for it/planning it - you make the decisions.

                  #19 Simistar

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                  • 645 posts

                    Posted 08 October 2008 - 05:19 PM

                    hey sdbuttrfly girl!

                    I can't believe you're getting so much grief, especially after you even went on site visits and everything! (It sounds like you chose somewhere in Cancun! Exciting!)

                    For sure my mother was NOT happy with the DW idea at first...I still don't think she gets it entirely:-)
                    She kept asking how it could be a religious ceremony on the beach -- lol:-)
                    I told her it wasn't going to be...She's had TWO weddings, this one's mine:)
                    (I said it nicer than that:-))
                    It also means my two brothers won't be coming (money, time-off issues)...but we knew that when we decided on a DW some people wouldn't be able to come.

                    Do what YOU two want. Those who want to come will, those who don't, won't.
                    And you'll still have a fabulous day/vacation with everyone who DID make the effort!

                    #20 sdbtrflygrl

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                    • 73 posts

                      Posted 08 October 2008 - 05:23 PM

                      You guys are awesome! :)

                      I have decided to start telling everyone how it is...haha. Even at work I have been saying it how it is today...

                      Simistar we might be giving SMB another try for our honeymoon. :)

                      My FI loved it so much he can't wait to go back! I can't wait to see your pictures...

                      We are finalizing our dates with our resort and then we will have to have some serious chats with the families to let them know we are SERIOUS about this and that if they love us they need to support us!

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