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Can't afford a Wedding Party (DW Ettiquette)

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#1 *New* Mrs. G

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    Posted 05 October 2008 - 03:10 PM

    From Destination Wedding Etiquette - DestinationWeddings.com

    When choosing a wedding party for your destination wedding, it might be a bit harder than if you were planning a traditional wedding. Your wedding party will probably be smaller than an at-home wedding. Destination wedding etiquette dictates that you should pay for the travel and other expenses of your wedding party. Be sure to give extra notice to your wedding party so that there will be no conflicts on your chosen dates, and let them know that you're going to be paying their way, so that those people you've chosen don't feel that they'd have to decline due to not being able to afford the trip
    I was planning on waiting to see who's confirmed to come and THEN ask a MOH to stand for me. The most important people have already said they'd be there (immediate family anyway). I was planning on asking my sister, my FI's sister, or one of my gf's who book.

    I'm just starting to save now for a January/February 2010 wedding. I don't know if I can afford to pay for another person to come to PV on top of everything else.

    Any thoughts or advice?

    (By the way, what's an AHR??)

    #2 1elephant

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      Posted 05 October 2008 - 03:13 PM

      it's your wedding - you do what you can. i didn't pay for my wedding party, and i don't believe that too many other brides here did either. i think you contribute what you can, but only if you want to.
      an AHR is an at-home reception.

      use the search button on the top to look up destination wedding etiquette, or popular acronyms.

      #3 foxytv

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        Posted 05 October 2008 - 03:16 PM

        Don't worry about that etiquette crap ... all of our bridal party paid their own way - I had one back out due to finances (or so she said) and wouldn't accept our offer to cover the remaining costs for her.

        I think there are very few of us on BDW who paid all travel expenses for their bridal party.

        #4 samanthag

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          Posted 05 October 2008 - 03:45 PM

          I did some research on this very same topic and found that many resources indicate that with DW you are not obligated to pay for your bridal party's expenses. Let me look again for the information & I'll get back with you...

          #5 Kelly C

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            Posted 05 October 2008 - 04:30 PM

            We didn't pay for anyone to go. They paid their own.
            Kerrington Danielle was born 6/23/09 12:31 pm 7lbs 14oz.


            #6 MissyR

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              Posted 05 October 2008 - 04:45 PM

              Our wedding party is two - my sis (MOH) and FI's brother (BM). We didn't pay for either trip - we will be giving them gifts at the welcome dinner. I wouldn't worry too much about etiquette - I think destination weddings are a great chance to do what you want!

              #7 rodent


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                Posted 05 October 2008 - 04:50 PM

                i've been a BM so many times. traditional ettiquette is that the Bride & groom pay for your hotel and maybe travel (cant remember if that is on thsoe lists). no one ever has. these are with local, out of town or out of state wedding. so I imagine they adapted the DW ettiquette from that.

                i was going to do the wait & see who books approach, but then we decided to just scrap having a bridal party. i'm really happy we did. none of mike's would be grooms men made it. it was just simpler.

                #8 Virg

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                  Posted 05 October 2008 - 04:56 PM

                  I was a bridesmaid, and I paid for everything my self, dress, alterations, bachelorette, travel everything. Quite expensive.
                  But we also gotgifts :)
                  Happily Ever After: June 1, 2006
                  Made it legal : June 30, 2009


                  #9 Jennifer Davis

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                    Posted 05 October 2008 - 05:15 PM

                    We're not paying travel expenses for the bridal party either..... we're only having a maid of honor and best man, though.

                    #10 kate.com


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                      Posted 05 October 2008 - 05:42 PM

                      we are just doing sibblings and not paying. Instead of our parents helping us, we asked them to help our sibblings... and so far my parents paid for my brother and sister's airfare which is nice.
                      I think it is a good idea to chose from the ones who book... then be sure to keep the expenses such as attire,etc to a minimum. Bill is paying for the guy's attire. The girls paid for their dresses but I plan to make that up to them at the spa. And I bought their shoes, jewlery.

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