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Need Advice - I'm having second thoughts on location

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#1 Kla.Kari

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  • 101 posts

    Posted 30 September 2008 - 11:35 AM

    Not about my future husband - I can't imagine life without him.

    Sorry all... this is kinda long...

    I am having second thoughts about the location. St Lucia is gorgeous and I know that I would love to have everyone join me there to get married. But I feel bad asking people to spend so much to come to our wedding (total cost for 4 days/3 nights airfare and all-inclusive accomodation is around $1500 per person!).

    Granted I am not using a TA yet, and they may be able to get better pricing or discounts, but still. If I were asked to spend that much to go to someone's wedding, I would probably go and enjoy myself -- but I love to travel and realize everyone isn't like me. Especially with this economy.

    And my mother isn't helping; she wants me to get married where I grew up (where she still lives) in Minnesota. Her justification is that we can have a cheapo wedding at our church and then splurge on the honeymoon. Then two of my bridesmaids went and got pregnant... lol I'm am happy for them, but they will be in their 3rd trimester and unable to fly. And another is getting married herself and planning to buy a house after they are married next October. Now my FH is saying if I am having second thoughts, then maybe we should rethink the wedding...

    I just don't know what to do! Should I cancel the plans for the wedding in St Lucia and go somewhere slightly more affordable (like Jamaica or Bahamas)? Should I say "screw ya'll, it's my day" and have it in St Lucia anyway (even though mom and everyone else will complain about the cost the whole time)? Or should I just cancel the whole thing and elope?! Lol @ the last one... that's what FH has wanted since the beginning.

    Thanks for reading my rant. If anyone has any advice, I would greatly appreciate it!

    Courtesy of Josh Brown Photography

    Pigeon Island, St. Lucia
    April 11, 2009Simply Beautiful

    #2 Jacqueline

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    • 3,160 posts

      Posted 30 September 2008 - 01:14 PM

      aw im so sorry. i might not be much help b/c i changed my plans around too. i started looking into having a destination wed but changed my mind. i am having it home, for different reasons. but back to you- you have to remember that its YOUR day so i think you should totally do what you want. if thats a destination wedding to st lucia, so be it. a lot of people wont be able to make it but thats comes with having a destination wedding and you have to not take it personal. i was recently in a wedding where not all the bridesmaids could go, its hurtful but again, u have to know that not everyone will be able to attend. you can find some good deals with ta's, just look around and get diff quotes. and try diff locations like you said. dont give up yet. id look into it alil more and see what you think..

      #3 lmg970

      • Jr. Member
      • 316 posts

        Posted 30 September 2008 - 01:30 PM

        i kept saying that i wanted to elope and some family members said they wanted to be there so we decided on the destination wedding, and now am getting stuff from others about going away and the cost. but I told them they invited as to not exclude and that it was always there choice not to attend as my original plan was not to include anyone in the first place.

        #4 syl1115

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        • 789 posts

          Posted 30 September 2008 - 01:54 PM

          I know how you feel. I wanted to have my wedding in Mexico, Jamaica or some other exotic island. But I had to be realistic about it for both myself and my guests. I wanted my guests to be able to afford to attend because I wanted them there on my day. I had to compromise and have the wedding in Florida and the ones that could afford it, went on the cruise with us. I am so glad I did it this way because a lot of family would not have been able to attend. Of course I wanted to have it my way, but in the end I would have had it my way without the ones I love.

          Our wedding slideshowhttp://www.facebook.....=1047086342460

          #5 Hartyt509

          • Sr. Member
          • 2,262 posts

            Posted 30 September 2008 - 05:03 PM

            I'm in the screw them party lol It's costing our guests at least £3k for 2 weeks!! I have said i understand if you can't come and they have said noooo 2 weeks in cancun fab! even FMIL (shit and bollox) lmao

            Your mum is whinging because she wants it where she lives so that SHE can sort it out and get on your case. If you and FI want to go away then do it. If people want to come they will if they don't they wont. You sure as hell find out who loves you when you mention the word wedding lol

            I have no problem when people say look it's just too expensive and i'm sorry, its when they whinge about the cost but still book and keep whinging. Sorry mini rant lmao

            DO IT you'll regret it if you don't

            #6 luvtoteachlaw

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            • 134 posts

              Posted 30 September 2008 - 06:25 PM

              I had planned on getting married in St. Lucia, but due to ridiculous airfare costs, we changed the location to a private villa in Jamaica. I am getting so much more for the price in Jamaica, and the travel time is reasonable, IMO. I am actually very pleased with the location in Jamaica, and now feel that it is even nicer than what I could find in St. Lucia.

              We are going to St. Lucia for the honeymoon, instead. Good luck in your choice - check out Jamaica, if you still want an island wedding for a reasonable price.

              #7 kristendotcom

              • Jr. Member
              • 294 posts

                Posted 01 October 2008 - 12:07 AM

                You can look into having a private wedding in St.Lucia, just the 2 of you, and then have an at home reception for your friends & family. That's always an option.

                #8 SAM

                • Member
                • 542 posts

                  Posted 01 October 2008 - 12:30 AM

                  Your not alone...you will do what is best for and your FI. You could always just have a big party at home for those who couldn't make it.

                  #9 Kla.Kari

                  • Newbie
                  • 101 posts

                    Posted 01 October 2008 - 02:15 AM

                    We are planning on having an AHR about a month after we get back... but so many are not happy about missing the wedding. I guess they just really wanted to be at the wedding, and probably can't go for one reason or another. But my mommy just HAS to be there!
                    Courtesy of Josh Brown Photography

                    Pigeon Island, St. Lucia
                    April 11, 2009Simply Beautiful

                    #10 anita

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                    • 106 posts

                      Posted 01 October 2008 - 03:33 AM

                      This is very tough!! This is YOUR WEDDING and you have to do what makes you happy! If being on the beat in St. Lucia is the wedding of your dreams - then you need to not look back and just know that those that can make it there will be there. If having everyone there is the most important thing to you (and you know realistically they cant handle the trip) then you have to weigh whats most important to you. Personally I was going to have my wedding at home, however, my guest list was getting to be out of control and felt a lot of pressure and not to mention the cost that I was starting to rack up!! So 2 weeks ago we decided to cancel the wedding at home and take off. We know that not everyone will be able to make it, but I know that the most important one's can make it. They find a way one way or another.

                      That was long winded but you have to be selfish - I made a lot of people mad, but at the end of the day its about you and him. What will make you happy - you only get to be selfish once! Good luck!!!

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