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TammyWright

Strip Club for Bachelor Party?

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Here's another thread on this too - a pretty old one. http://bestdestinationwedding.com/forum/t840

 

I don't really like them too much either, and I've been to a couple. I didn't tell Paul he couldn't go - but luckily it just wasn't something he wanted to do either. They just had a weekend of golfing, paintball, drinking!, etc. I was glad they didn't go, no doubt!

 

IMHO your FI should respect how you feel about him going to a strip club - if it's not a big deal to him, what's the harm in him just not going?

 

And that's b.s. about him not having any say, it's a cop out if you ask me - he could tell his friends he doesn't want to go to one. He should admit that he either wants to go, or doesn't have the balls to tell his buddies he doesn't want to! But he does have a say.

 

I don't know - I can kind of see both sides.

 

I'm no help!

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FINALLY! Someone who feels like I do! I find strip clubs fun... BUT... I WOULD HATE IT IF HE WENT WITHOUT ME! And even when I am there he is NOT allowed to have a lap dance. That's just wrong and gross.

So, for the bachelor party I was so nervous. I just feel like complete crap whenever I think about him at a strip club. I hate it.

THANKFULLY! He told the guys that he doesn't want to go to one. And Saturday was his party. Three of the guys were pushing for the club but our groomsman said "No, this is Shawn's party and if doesn't want to go... then that's not what we are going to do." When I heard that I was SO happy!

 

So, my advice to you is to tell your fiance to tell the people involved with his party that he would rather go to a bar or DO stuff instead of going to a strip club, and that he really just isn't interested.

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Quote:
Originally Posted by AlmostMrsForbes View Post
Hi. OK - so I've never been a fan of strip clubs. I pretty much find them gross, disrespectful, etc. Well, FI's friends plan to take him to one (probably more) for his bachelor party. He's gone over the course of our relationship a couple of times, and I've never been thrilled.

I know everyone says that it is a right of passage, etc. I just have a problem with him having some girl's breasts in his face 6 days before he marries me. I'm not trying to be a nagging, bitchy fiance/wife, but I think I have a right to expect this much of him. It's not like I'm asking him not to play golf or have friends ... I'm asking him not to have a strange girl rub her naked body on him.

I've been totally stressing over this ... I talked to FI about it, and he basically thinks I need to relax and says that its his bachelor party and he can't reallly control what they do ... right.

Did this come up with anyone's FI? If so, how did you handle it. Also, please feel free to tell me that I'm being ridiculous ... I just don't want to be upset about it so close to the biggest emotional day of my life.
honey i am just like you, the idea of my FI in a nudie bar disgusts me. i think strip clubs/nudie bars are disrespectful to women etc etc etc. i dont think you are being ridiculous. but when i talked with my FI about what if his friends take him to a strip club, he asked me if i trusted him enough to draw the line if it got inappropriate. the truth is, yes i do trust him. there is a big difference to me between going to a strip club and looking versus going to a strip club and touching. his friends know the thought of inappropriate stuff at the bachelor party makes me upset, so i dont think they will honestly do it. i think they will end up going out and getting drunk together, and thats all. it is true, you nor your FI can control what his friends do. he can request that they not go to the nudie bar, but will his friends necessarily abide by that request? no.

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The boys totally wanted Ryan to go to a strip club but he insisted they don't. I guess it just depends. He probably feels obligated to go so he doesn't look like a wimp. But if it TRUELY bugs you I say tell him. I wouldn't want it either. Strip clubs are whatever but I don't agree with some chick touching him in any way. Paid or not that in my books is cheating. He wouldnt want some guy all up on you right? I don't know I go back and forth on this subject but my FI saw that and decided not to push it

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Well my husbands boys brought him to a strip club, do I like strip clubs? No, but I just figured oh well I trust him and I wasn't going to make him tell the guys his fw told him he couldn't go. They pretty much had him up on the stage and got him really, really drunk, they also took lot's of pics and in the end I wasn't really bothered. One thing that most likely helped is my girls had my bachlerette party the same nite, so I wasn't sitting around worrying about Everton, I was out having my own fun. The boys also met up with us at the bar we were at later in the nite, and we all danced and had fun, the boys were missing us so they had to come and find us, so the strippers must not have had anything on us, lol! Relax if you trust your man, let him and his friends have their fun, and you go out and have your own fun it will make the time fly!

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I personally am OK with bachelor parties. I know that I am a lot more laid back than most people though.

 

Granted, I don't want him going every night, I'm ok if he does for his bachelor party. We live 8 hrs. away from his family and most of his friends that he grew up with. I think lots of times guys just don't know what else to plan! It's kind of what is expected!

 

I say if that's what he wants to do then go for it. The reality is nothing will happen, other than some girl rubbing her boobies in his face. He can't touch them! Depending on local regulations, he might not even be able to drink at the strip club!

 

I'm looking at it as a don't ask, don't tell situation. I turst that he will come home to me and he will marry me, no matter what happens during a 6 hour time frame. We've been together for 6 years! I feel the same way about my bachelorette, if my friends hire a male stripper (gross!) I'm not going to brag to FI. It will just be something that happened on girls night!

 

I really don't think you have anything to worry about!

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I think often it's the other guys who really want to go. I've seen my friends FIs try to fight off their grooms men because they didn't want to go. One time the grooms men dropped off the groom & they went without him. So I do get that it can be hard to tell the guys no. They often set up the groom to get humiliated. Sort of like when your friends tell the waitress at apple bees its your birthday.

 

I don't like strip clubs, but I wouldn't care if Mike went for another guys party. But, I don't want him going for his. I feel like the weeks surrounding are wedding are a really special time & i wouldn't want him having stripper sweat on him right before the wedding.

 

We talked about it & he really didn't want to go to a strip club. None of his guys friends are pressuring him to anyway. I think they are going to have a poker night. he really wanted to plan a hiking trip, but it's going to have to wait until the fall. We both think strip clubs are pretty sad & pathetic. We've gone to a few together, but because we were with a group that really wanted to. I found it to be depressing. Especially the coed one in new orleans. Yuck!

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thanks, girls.

 

i really do trust him - that's not what i'm getting at.

 

the thought just sickens me ... like that kind of intimacy is only supposed to be shared with me. I also think it bothers me more because we are about to make this huge commitment to one another, etc.

 

i'm going to talk with him tonight and really let him know what i think about it. hopefully we can come to some kind of compromise - maybe no lap dances or something.

 

i also think that we're going to have my bachelorette party that night, too. i think that will help - at least i won't be alone and obsessing about it.

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In all honestly it doesn't bother me. A couple of months after we were marred he had a bachelor party to go to, and they wanted to go to a strip club, my only comment to him was "if you want a lap dance, then call me ahead of time so I can watch" Ok you girls must think I'm crazy, but my DH isn't that type of guy and I can just imagine the look on his face, and I would probably pee my pants laughing at him. I trust him and I know he's not going to do anything stupid or put himself in a situation that he knows I wouldn't approve.

 

Besides with all that said, I think for the most part, men just drink and look, where as women go crazy at them. If I were a guy I wouldn't trust women going to a strip club.

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