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Is this rude

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84 replies to this topic

#11 vale

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  • 437 posts

    Posted 06 June 2008 - 04:32 PM

    I can understand your parents being upset.

    When I was in labour with my first, DH mother came to see us about 2.30am, after having been out for the evening so was slightly worse for wear. She did ask if she could be there for the birth, but I told DH, no, so he told her he thought it was best to go home, which she did. But once my daughter was born the later on in the day, everyone came in to see us, my family, his family and they all had to take turns in holding her. She wasn't the first on either side, but everyone wants to see a newborn baby and hold them, everyone is excited. I was acutually glad to see everyone, tired but very happy and glad.

    I hope it does get easier for your parents and your sil becomes more reasonable, because the first grandchild is very special.

    #12 DanielleNDerek

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      Posted 06 June 2008 - 04:38 PM

      i've always got a weird vibe from her like for holidays, she always kind of just fits our family in, like she's doing us a favor.

      i told my fi what happened with my parents and he is more pissed than any of us. of course he has a tendency to over-react at first like now he wants them to no bother coming to our wedding because we wouldn't want them to barge in.

      His sis had a baby in Oct and she was always having us over and all of the grandparents over. She wanted everyone to get to see the baby. i think me and fi have been comparing it to that situation. I always just figured that when they had the baby they would want at least my parents to get to see it a lot for the first couple of days, but they dont' really want them there at all.

      I'm just disgusted with my bro right now. He has no balls!!!
      ***Married November 6, 2008***Gavin Born February 28th, 2010***
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      #13 alex

      • Sr. Member
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        Posted 06 June 2008 - 04:49 PM

        Originally Posted by DanielleNDerek
        I'm just disgusted with my bro right now. He has no balls!!!

        You hit the nail on the head right there!!
        I am soooo sorry that your wonderful parents are stuck in such an awful & disgusting situation! I am SO upset for your family right now that I don't even have any thoughts that I can share without it being rated-R for coarse language!!
        Give your folks a HUGE hug from me! They sound incredible!

        #14 jajajaja

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          Posted 06 June 2008 - 04:57 PM

          I'm sure your brother and SIL will have no issues asking your parents to babysit if they need a break. How dare they shut out excited AND AVAILABLE grandparents. Just not right.
          Happily married since 2008

          #15 Chiquita

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            Posted 06 June 2008 - 05:00 PM

            Danielle I don't have kids but to me that just seems too incredibly rude for words! It sounds to me she has issues with your side of the family for whatever reason and I do think you should call your brother on it. Otherwise that behaviour will just continue until she needs a favour of course. Your parents sound fantastic btw.

            #16 Alyssa

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              Posted 06 June 2008 - 05:37 PM

              Wow Danielle,

              definitely RUDE!
              your SIL sounds like a bitch - what is your brother's problem though - I would freak on my bro if ever let anyone treat my parents like that.

              Is there something that happened that you don't know about?

              that sucks - your parents sound so great!

              #17 CJEB

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                Posted 06 June 2008 - 05:40 PM

                awww your poor parents

                #18 Jessica

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                  Posted 06 June 2008 - 05:49 PM

                  Ok, to be perfectly honest, when Aiden was born I really didn't want visitors the first night at the hospital at all. When Brian called the in-laws to tell them I was in labor, they rushed to the hospital even though he said to wait until the next day.

                  I was a little peeved just because I'm a very private person and need my space and it was a long exhausting day and I didn't want to deal with visitors. BUT I never let my in-laws know I was upset about them being there.

                  My in-laws can be a little pushy when it comes to Aiden sometimes... like they would come over to visit just about everyday and wouldn't take no for an answer. So, even though I was sort of irritated I let his go on for a couple of weeks because I knew they were just excited about the first grandchild.

                  So even thogh maybe I can some ways relate to your SIL (even though I don't know exactly why she is acting the way she is), I still find her approach to be rude and totally uncalled for. But I think you are right in being more upset with your brother. He should stand up for your parents. After all it's his child as well. He should want his family to be apart of this experience. Especially if she's allowing her family to be involved.

                  #19 Birdie07

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                  • 1,218 posts

                    Posted 06 June 2008 - 05:50 PM

                    Yikes! I would totally call them on it. Plus if your mom hasn't thrown the shower I would cancel it. And then when SIL wants to know. Say " I didn't want to BARGE in on you" For real that is rude. I know people like that (family). They only want the favors and gifts. I'm sure when they want a break they'll ask for babysitting for free. I would decline, until she gets real. And yes your BRO needs to step up. Her parents got to hold the baby, it's his child too. He needs to grow a pair!

                    My sister told us we should come up when she was in labor saying we could be in there blah blah. So we took off WORK and came up. As soon as we get there she tells us to leave. So we go to the waiting room and then are told NO leave the hospital. WTF? I took off work to do this. I was PISSED. My other sister did the same thing. She didn't even call to say she was in labor. Personally, I'm not having anyone come over either. But b/c that was done to me. But my MIL lives next door and she can come over whenever she wants!

                    Your parents sound like dolls! Can I have them? HAHA. Seriously though confront them! I would!

                    #20 KarmaB

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                      Posted 06 June 2008 - 05:53 PM

                      Yikes, I'm very disappointed with your bro.

                      When our baby is born, I might not want random friends dropping by at the hospital, but FAMILY is a totally different story. And I don't buy her "bonding" excuse. Letting someone hold the baby for 5 minutes will not disturb her bonding time.

                      I really hope this is not the start of her trying to alienate your side of the family, because it sounds like she is already using her child as a tool. Very, very UNCOOL.

                      I just think it could have been handled with a little more tact and thoughtfulness.

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