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hollisandsteph

Toooo much help!!!!

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OK so this whole AHR thing has been on my mind the last few days. I know we are having one. It is in July. I really tried to cancel it in January but my mom, SIL and friends talked me into it. So I got into the idea of it. Mostly a DIY reception. Lots of help from family and friends. We have the hall rented and DJ reserved. My cousin is making our cake (she does this on the side) and my brother should have been a chef so he is doing the main course and a couple of other family member are pitching in to help with side dishes. My problem is I wanted help but not as much as I am getting. My parents decided to "surprise" me with all the decorations and do not want me to do a thing. Today my dad tells me that they do not want me to know a thing about it at all until the day of. The only thing they want us to do is provide any alcohol we might want. Sadly, I doubt my parents taste. I know that is horrible but my mom will buy things solely cause they are on sale. I really do not want to hurt my parents feelings at all. They have done sooo much for me and WANT to do this for me since they were not able to actually go to the wedding (my father has been an amputee for just over a year and travel would have been too difficult) I guess they see it as a huge help but I see it as a source of stress. I feel i need to let them do this. I already had my perfect wedding and they were not there so I don't feel a strong urge to controll the reception but I still want it to be tasteful. I know I am going to let them but I just need support from you wonderful ladies telling me I am making my parents (who are wonderful) happy. I just need sympathy and support...LOL

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You've just got to suck it up I think lol normally I'd say tell them you are doing it your way BUT they sound so happy to be able to do this for you and it probably broke their heart that they weren't at the wedding so just let them do it

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Let it be known that your parents are hosting it and make sure everyone knows that they deserve all the credit. This way you'll be showing your appreciation and if it looks pretty bad, it'll be known that it wasn't your doing.

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I think it would be hard to sit back and do nothing, especially if you know that it is happening. I am sure that your mom will do the best she can, and even if it doesn't end up being what you would have done, seeing how happy your parents are about it will be worth it.

 

I am sure that it was hard for them not being able to be there for the DW, so this is their way of being a part of your special day. I am sure that it will still look great, even if it isn't what you had imagined.

 

You need to find a way to relax and get your mind off of it! I'm sure it will all work out great.

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Awww! Your parents sound so sweet. Yeah, I would let them do what they want and if the decor isn't to your liking, just don't say anything. They obviously love you so much and want to do something special for you. Your situation kind of reminds me of when my parents threw Jay and i an enagement party. Things weren't done the way I would do them but I didn't have the heart to say anything. They just love us so much and are such great parents. So yeah...as hard as it may be..just smile pretty and say thank you.

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you definitely need to suck it up, let go of the control and let them do this for you.

 

just buy plenty of booze and don't say ANYTHING.

 

make a nice speech and thank them for doing all this hard work, etc.

 

this probably means so much to them!

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Quote:
Originally Posted by froggie1013 View Post
Let it be known that your parents are hosting it and make sure everyone knows that they deserve all the credit. This way you'll be showing your appreciation and if it looks pretty bad, it'll be known that it wasn't your doing.
Exactly what I think too. They obviously love you so much and want to do something special for you. Allow them to! I understand not wanting everyone to think it's a reflection of your taste, but in the bigger picture, isn't it nice to let your parents be happy? Just give them a nice speech thanking them and surprising you with everything.

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Aw bless, I can understand your frustration especially since it's your wedding.

 

But never forget they are doing it because they love you. Have you spoken to them? be honest with them, they love you and you love them - have faith in your relationship with them and talk.

 

It's your day, you can't have regrets

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Let them do it, you'll probably find it will be a lot better than you are expecting. Once you actually get there, you won't notice the little things, just the love that's surrounding you from your parents. It will work out okay.

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