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#1 Ericka7885

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    Posted 01 June 2008 - 10:05 AM

    So I asked my good friend to stand up in the wedding as my maid of honor. I did let her know our plan was to go to Jamaica before asking and gave her time to talk it over with her fiance before committing. However now that I am planning the wedding and choosing the date and location, she is being so difficult! I told her we were going the week of April 5-12th and were staying at the RIU Ocho Rios. When I told her the price of the package, she had a fit saying that was way too much. Now I think ROR is a nice moderately priced resort. By no means did I go with the ritziest hotel out there! I wanted to find something moderately priced, but yet a nice resort. I don't want to get married at a dump! So my MOH comes to my hose that night with a list of other resorts and dates that she feels are better deals. The real kicker is half are not even in Jamaica! She told me that I should just go to Cancun or DR because they are cheaper and why should everyone pay more money just to go to Jamaica. I was speechless! This is supposed to be mine and my fiance's day! I do feel bad making people spend all of the money to be there, but if they can't make it I understand. We will have a AHR that they can attend. My dillema is, do I ask her to step down as MOH as I don't want to constantly be told what I should do to please her...it' my wedding!! Am I being ridiculous or was that really rude

    #2 Hartyt509

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      Posted 01 June 2008 - 10:18 AM

      No you are not being ridiculous you need to take a firm stand NOW at the start!

      Just point out to her nicely (I always have a problem with this lol) and say look we are getting married in Jamaica at this resort on this date. We'd like you to be there but if you aren't thats ok 2. End of discussion

      Its YOUR wedding tell her to poke off the cheeky cow!

      #3 shellb

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        Posted 01 June 2008 - 10:25 AM

        I totally agree with Hartyt509.

        Maybe she's trying to be helpful, but if you don't stand firm on this is the place you want then she's going to do this the whole way through your planning.

        #4 Bride010101

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          Posted 01 June 2008 - 10:28 AM

          I agree... its your day and you should not need to change your plans! I would sit down and have a heart-to-heart with her. Explain that this is what you and FI want for your day and that you gave lots of consideration in picking the resort. Thank her for looking at other options, but this is what you want. Explain that you would really like her to be there with you, but understand if she is unable to attend.

          #5 Ericka7885

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            Posted 01 June 2008 - 10:41 AM

            Thanks for all of the advice! I am going to have to sit down and just tell her that we are planning the trip for us and that if she can't go I completely understand. I just hope that it doesn't cause hurt feelings and end up ruining our friendship.

            #6 Andi


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              Posted 01 June 2008 - 10:43 AM

              I agree with everyone else...but would add...

              you need to let her know that you do want her to be your MOH that is why you asked her...BUT if the trip is too high priced for her then let her know that you understand if she decides she does not want to attend. Convey to her that it is YOUR wedding and not hers and the resort you decided on is where it is going to be. If she does not want to/or cannot attend due to financial reasons then just let her know you understand!

              #7 mjm160

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                Posted 01 June 2008 - 10:59 AM

                wow, i would be P.O.!!!
                Tell her to start saving her money and deal with it. She should be excited that you chose her to be the MOH. She can plan her own wedding the way she wants it when it's her time. You stick with what you want, it's your decision and it's you who will looking back on it 30 years from now.
                When we booked our trip, our TA didnt need the money for the entire trip until like 60 or 90 days berfore we left. Everyone put down a small deposit and either went on a payment plan or just saved money until the day full payment due.

                #8 jmill130

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                  Posted 01 June 2008 - 11:12 AM

                  Stand your ground, she may think she is being helpful. The one thing I have learned from this whole wedding process is you need to tell people what you want and need. I always just thought people knew... I started just saying we really want to get married in Cabo and we hope you can join us. Good luck:)

                  #9 beachbride08

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                    Posted 01 June 2008 - 11:20 AM

                    I would just let her know that you appreciate the research that she did, but you and your FI have done research of your own and you decided together on the location and the date. I would just confirm that you realize not everyone will be able to make the trip, but you picked a moderately priced resort and one that you are very happy with to have your wedding at and if she will not be able to attend you understand but to let you know now.

                    #10 DanielleNDerek

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                      Posted 01 June 2008 - 11:21 AM

                      Even though im sure she means well, she really has no authority to dictate where and when you have your wedding. Let her know that if she can't do ROR, than you will completely understand but that's the resort and date that you and your fi want.
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