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Guests inviting guests?

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#1 Copita

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    Posted 22 April 2008 - 10:54 AM

    Have any of you encountered this?
    This has happened to me twice now.
    I invited my good family's friend, who instead of brinigng her two sons (like I thought she would) invited a lady I met once last year for about an hour.
    Needless to say I was shocked but didn't really say anything. I just said, Oh well. The more, the merrier.
    Well, my cousin just called me. She is coming with my aunt (her mother), who invited a person I have never met before in my life, to my wedding (who already bought her ticket). And my cousin just said, this friend (the one I've never met) has a friend w ho wants to come because she's never visited the island so if you have room, is it okay?
    I find this really strange. Why would anyone just basically think this is okay to do? I didn't know what to say to her. Granted, I know it's a resort, where people go on vacation, but it's also my wedding.
    I guess I'm just wondering if you guys have dealt with this or how you would deal with this?


    #2 alex

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      Posted 22 April 2008 - 11:02 AM

      I really don't know hwo I'd react to this. I mean its YOUR wedding so why do you want strangers there.. but then I guess like you said the resort is pretty big...
      I guess it would depend on your wedding. If you are having a semi-private reception that isn't costing extra then I guess it's not a big deal. But if you're having one that costs per guest then it's strange.
      I suppose you could tell them that it's okay for these people to come on the trip, but unfortunately you don't have space at the actual wedding for them. So they can spend time with everyone for the rest of the time, but on the actual wedding day, they'll have to fend for themselves & find something else to do....
      I dunno! Sorry I'm not more help! I wish you luck with sorting this out!

      #3 Kat81

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        Posted 22 April 2008 - 11:09 AM

        I agree if you are paying per person I would tell them it is fine for them to come BUT the wedding is already planned for the people the invites were sent to. But they are more than welcome to kick it with you guys all week.

        #4 MelanieS

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          Posted 22 April 2008 - 11:13 AM

          Wow, what nerve to assume they would be welcome to a stranger's wedding. You could always tell them if they wanted to participate in the wedding festivities, the amount will be $____.

          #5 Maura


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          Posted 22 April 2008 - 11:17 AM

          Originally Posted by Kat81
          I agree if you are paying per person I would tell them it is fine for them to come BUT the wedding is already planned for the people the invites were sent to. But they are more than welcome to kick it with you guys all week.
          i agree with what kat said.

          what is it with people thinking they can invite someone whose name is not on the invitation sent to them? i have had several cases of this. including my FSIL! she has been auditioning boyfriends each week to see if any of them could be her date for the wedding! she's a BM, so she wont have time to spend on the wedding day fussing with some idiot guy who she has barely been seeing, but knowing her she would abandon part of her duties to go be with whatever guy she brings. originally, she wanted to invite 10 friends of hers! we told her NO!!!!!!! its our wedding and we determine the guest list.

          over this past weekend, the girlfriend of one of my FI's friends, whom i barely know, asked my FI for an invitation to my bridal shower.... ive met her once, a year ago, for about an hour at a BBQ. i dont know her and obviously she doesnt know anybody who will be at my shower... but FI insisted i send her an invitation because i was mailing all the invites out today for my stepmom (because i attached the address labels). he said she prolly wont come, but will send a gift. why dont people get that its not about the gifts? its about wanting your wedding stuff to be intimate with only the people you invite! i feel for ya!

          #6 Opice34

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            Posted 22 April 2008 - 11:22 AM

            Were they just "and guested" or did they all have multiple names on the invitation? I have some single girlfriends who will be "and guested" and I told them it would be fine to bring a girlfriend with them if they wanted. It's allocated in the headcount, I want them to have a good time, and I think they'd much rather have a friend with them than some person they recently started dating. But, I TOLD them this ahead of time and there won't any other names on their invite. I can't imagine them doing that without me bringing it up to them...

            I agree with what Kat said, too. Good luck!

            #7 rodent


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              Posted 22 April 2008 - 11:50 AM

              I would tell them it's fine for them to come along on the vacation, but that you want the wedding events to be small & intiment with only people youa re very close too.

              #8 becks



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                Posted 22 April 2008 - 12:40 PM

                I agree with what everyone has said here. It's your day, your guests are being inappropriate with their requests. They probably don't realize that there is a cost per person, but even then it's inappropriate.

                I had this problem with some of my mom's family inviting extras to my shower (being hosted by someone they had never met). I had my mom call them - it's just not appropriate. You might do the same - it's unreasonable of them to expect you to host total strangers at your wedding when those strangers were not the "and guest" invitees.

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                #9 Hartyt509

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                  Posted 23 April 2008 - 07:29 PM

                  Late to this one but I agree with everyone. Just tell them not bothered if they come on the holiday but they are NOT coming to the wedding.

                  A friend of mine said the same thing to me I told him straight, bring who you want to mexico but they are not coming to the wedding and if you want them to you pay the what it will cost us lol

                  Its one of the reasons we are having a DW because FMIL will invite every bugger she has ever known in her life and it isn't happening, Its your wedding so you get to invite who YOU want. Don't bend under the pressure lol

                  #10 Deighton

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                    Posted 23 April 2008 - 10:01 PM

                    It's good to know that I'm not the only one experiencing this. My FI seemed to think I was overreacting to this situation when it happened the 2nd or 3rd time, but now I feel justified in feeling this way. It's so annoying! I don't want to feel like we're being used as a 'vacation' just because we're having our wedding in Cabo. I hope no one else asks this of me because I think I've reached my limit. I understand about the whole "they'll have more fun if they bring someone," but there's gotta be a limit.

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