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Kat81

Not having an AHR?

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Totally agree with you Joda, my FI and I also hate being the centre of attention, so a DW is perfect for us.  Having like 50 people watching vs like 200, makes us much more comfortable.

 

Originally Posted by joda View Post

We are not having an AHR. We chose a destInation wedding to save money and the stress of planning here, and we hate being the center of attention, so didn't want to be the focus of a large group. So basically having an AHR defeats the purpose of going away, for us. I don't think there is a right or wrong way to do it though, just whatever works for the couple!



 

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Weâ€re torn with the whole AHR reception thing right now too. Weâ€re getting a lot of pressure from my mom to have one because NONE of our family is coming to the wedding except for my parents and two sisters. I just feel like everyone who is coming to our wedding is making it a priority to be there and are there for the right reasons and they might feel ripped off if we were to host something formal when we get home. We might have a very impromptu BBQ or something to share our wedding photoâ€s but Iâ€m not going to go out of my way to plan something extravagant for a bunch of people who didnâ€t come to our wedding because we didnâ€t do it the "right†way. 

 

I hope that didnâ€t sound bitter! We really do have a great group coming to the wedding and I couldnâ€t be happier but all the pressure for something I donâ€t want or the guilt trips for having a wedding away can be exhausting!!

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I have been going back and forth as well.  I started planning for one but now I think I'm going to scrap it.  Why have two weddings?  If that's the case, we should just get married here and have a honeymoon!  The cost is crazy and I agree that some people might feel ripped off if they pay to go away to just come back to do it all over again.

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I agree... we've been struggling with that too.  We are leaving a lot of family members and friends out, but I can't validate having two "weddings".  The people that I love will be at our destination wedding and that is all that matters at the end of the day. 

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i am having a hard time deciding whether or not to have a AHR.  It seems very costly.  We want to do a pig roast BBQ if anything as offered by the FMIL.  However, my family is in Chicago and his family is 6 hours away in MI.  what to do?!huh.gif

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No AHR for me either just can't imagine having to plan a second event. The destination wedding is enough work.

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I think you guys just made up my mind! Thank god you all feel this way - our situation is this - DH parents are paying for a reception in his hometown (8 hours away from where we live) SO NICE of them to do and I am super excited - but I wanted to have one closer to here also for my family/friends. DH didn't want to because of the expense and because "all the people who wanted to be at our wedding were". I see his point - I just thought it would be fun to have another party here! Now I am getting stressed out about finding a location, planning it, paying for it, the list goes on and on. SO I think I just decided to say forget it! YAY! No more stress! Ok sorry I am rambling now but thanks!
My sentiments exactly! Thanks for sharing ladies and for helping me to realize I'm not a beast for not wanting an AHR. We're also planning to invite a large number of people to our DW so we'll likely have to fork over extra fees for going over the package numbers. No extra $$ or time to plan an AHR.

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We aren't having a AHR either.... I think my parents were more disappointed but understood that we just wanted something intimate. 

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This thread has made me second guess having an at home reception. We couldn't decide how to celebrate with the people who couldn't come, but I guess pre wedding events are the way they can celebrate with us

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