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Mention deceased parent in program

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#1 Tamster808

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    Posted 16 March 2008 - 10:57 AM

    My mother passed away eleven years ago. I do not remeber her all that much but my family will be offended if I do not mention her somewhere. I was thinking on the program just to list her under parents of the bride. How do you do this? I would like to also mention my stepmother. I am not that close to her but I don't want to make her feel left out. She has put up with my dad ten years and I think that gives her the right to be mentioned.

    #2 Stormsong

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      Posted 16 March 2008 - 11:28 AM

      That is a nice gesture. I am not doing a program myself, as the wedding is only 10 mins...so...kinda pointless. Though, i am creating a wedding crossword and am mentioning them BOTH in that one. (My mother died when I was 10...dad remarried to a woman who put up with HIM for many years too! )

      Another nice thing you could do is make a bouquet charm with a picture of her on it. I am planning on doing this. I haven't started yet..else I would post a picture.
      Basically, you take a picture of the deceased, resin it and hang it from your bouquet.
      Your wedding is after mine....so i will have made one before you get married. So you can then see what it is, and decide if thats something that might interest you!

      #3 Dbld78

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        Posted 16 March 2008 - 12:24 PM

        It's a tough call....you should definitely mention her...she's your mother. My FI's mother passed away 13 years ago and he is the baby and he was such a mama's boy. It is a very sensitive subject with his family. We want to make her a part of our ceremony but we don't want to make anyone sad that she's not there...we decided to leave an empty chair where she would have sat and Tim is going to place a Sunflower on her chair when he comes down the aisle that way she's been recognized silently....

        The idea of the the bouquet charm is also really nice too...

        #4 Saraha

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          Posted 16 March 2008 - 12:28 PM

          I guess it depends on home much you want to "recognize" her if that makes sense. We have three relatives that would have been at our destination wedding had they been alive. I actually stole the idea from someone on the forum but we are having ceremony programs and at the bottom were are having a "watching from above" column.

          #5 StephanieMN

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            Posted 16 March 2008 - 12:31 PM

            My father passed away and I am not putting his name under parents of the bride on the program- I think it would cause some confusion that day.
            As far as how to recognize him, I put "In our hearts, spirits, and thoughts today and forever."
            and put my dads name (chris' brother passed so his name is there too)
            You can run the risk of making your program look like a funeral bulletin if you get into it too much. I know our first draft did!

            #6 amyh


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              Posted 16 March 2008 - 01:17 PM

              I'm not sure if this is a Catholic or Latin thing, but I usually see a little cross next to the name to signify the person is deceased.

              #7 Spazz

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                Posted 16 March 2008 - 01:41 PM

                I am putting a poem on the program in memory of both my and my FI's dads that passed away. I am also using a bouquet charm with my dad's picture in it (so he can sorta walk up the aisle with me).

                #8 Maura


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                Posted 16 March 2008 - 02:15 PM

                Originally Posted by amyh
                I'm not sure if this is a Catholic or Latin thing, but I usually see a little cross next to the name to signify the person is deceased.
                i've definitely seen this before!

                #9 Tamster808

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                  Posted 16 March 2008 - 08:51 PM

                  Thanks for all the advice.

                  #10 Hartyt509

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                    Posted 16 March 2008 - 08:58 PM

                    It's a difficult one. When I get married my mum will have been gone 9 years, virtually to the day and although i want feel i should mention her i don't think i can. my dad wont be there as he lives in indonesia and would throttle the soon to be MIL in about 2 secs flat! my FI's step dad died a couple of years go and he doesn't want it mentioned at all - so i think i will just mention her in my head that way its personal to me and no-one is going to get upset about it. All a matter of choice I suppose and there is no easy answer, sorry!

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