I let go of my wedding party...

[BillysBride]

Quote:

Originally Posted by kendra Last week, I posted a thread about my bm's and attire. Well not only are the bm's giving my problems, the best man is acting a butt. Seem to be that the wedding party have issues with the airfare, because it's $$. They make smart comments as if I don't have to pay for a airline ticket. So FI and decided to let the wedding party go. At this point I don't need them to feel obligated to attend because we asked them. It's not worth disolving a friendship over a $$ airline ticket. I gave everyone enough time to prepare their $ for the money. It's heartbreaking to me and fi that the wedding party and other guest make comments about things I have no control. Of course this will come as a shock to them, but less stress for me.

Aw, honey I'm sorry! I can SOOOO see your point here and the wisdom of what you've decided. Its so hard. This is why we only decided to include people who we knew simply wouldn't miss it. Unfortunately that doesn't make it all of our close friends...mainly family and those who would we knew would be able to do it with little financial strain. I feel your pain..we aren't rich nor can we afford yearly vacations our damn selves, so its hard when people look at you like you're being selfish and behave as though you're going for free just because its your wedding.

Hang tough. You might be suprised, some might insist. What happens then, are you guys open to allowing whomever to participate if they step up and say they truly want to?

[LeXiee]

Quote:

Originally Posted by kendra Last week, I posted a thread about my bm's and attire. Well not only are the bm's giving my problems, the best man is acting a butt. Seem to be that the wedding party have issues with the airfare, because it's $$. They make smart comments as if I don't have to pay for a airline ticket. So FI and decided to let the wedding party go. At this point I don't need them to feel obligated to attend because we asked them. It's not worth disolving a friendship over a $$ airline ticket. I gave everyone enough time to prepare their $ for the money. It's heartbreaking to me and fi that the wedding party and other guest make comments about things I have no control. Of course this will come as a shock to them, but less stress for me.

Great decision!! DW are suppose to be NOT stressful!!

I didn't ask anyone to be part of our wedding party to avoid all the drama... like this people who come want to come and not because they feel like they need to be there because we asked them to be part of the wedding party.

[jajajaja]

I'm sorry it turned out that way, but honestly, you will have so much less stress. Thankfully my bridal party hasn't given me too much shit- we kinda waited to see if they would go before we asked anyone. I think it worked out really well that way- we didn't pressure any of our good friends and they committed to going because they wanted to, not because they felt they had to.

 

DW are meant to be about the couple. After all, I'm sure you ditched a traditional wedding because you wanted more freedom. Embrace it! Do whatever you want- don't worry about what's conventional.

[Yari]

I am so sorry you are going through this crap.

 

I had my MOH talk to the other BM's about booking cause I was so frustrated..lo and behold they all booked within two days. I was super shocked.

[CTHawaii14]

Im sorry you are going through this. In the end it will be less stressful on you im sure. Good luck!

This is why I didnt pick anyone to stand up there with us too. I was afraid it would happen to us too.

[DreaW]

I'm sorry that you feel bad about this....but you know what? You don't need the extra stress you can do this on your own...trust me based on experience.

[Golden]

Quote:

Originally Posted by BillysBride Aw, honey I'm sorry! I can SOOOO see your point here and the wisdom of what you've decided. Its so hard. This is why we only decided to include people who we knew simply wouldn't miss it. Unfortunately that doesn't make it all of our close friends...mainly family and those who would we knew would be able to do it with little financial strain. I feel your pain..we aren't rich nor can we afford yearly vacations our damn selves, so its hard when people look at you like you're being selfish and behave as though you're going for free just because its your wedding. Hang tough. You might be suprised, some might insist. What happens then, are you guys open to allowing whomever to participate if they step up and say they truly want to?

If they decide to get pass their issues on the dress and airfare and still come, they are allowed to participate. I am not going to mention the dw to them at all.

[BayBug]

It is so sad when your “friends†make you feel bad about having a DW and the whole money issue. One month before my wedding I kicked out my BM because she was talking all this crap about not having money and vacation time. It ended up not very pretty and now we are no longer friends. Oh well! I am glad to hear you took care of this before it got ugly!

[Ana]

Kendra, I'm so sorry...that's so terrible for them to do that. I'm really glad that you're not taking their bs though. Your wedding is about you and only you. Just focus on yourself and your FI and you'll have an amazing wedding! My FI and I arent' really too concerned with the wedding party, we picked eachother's sibligs to be our maid of honor and best man, so that avoids any stress (they're family they have to come! lol) but the rest of the people, if they come they come if they don't whatever. We're not doing gifts or a registry because we figured that if they do decide to come that will be their gift to us, and we made that clear when we asked them.

[Duchess]

I am treating it as "we would love to have you but understand if you can't make it". That way, if they want to b*tch about it later, I can repeat that "we would love to have you but understand...yada yada."

 

Good for you for standing up for yourselves. The people who really matter and who this matters to will probably call you and apologize, and will probably still want to go. The others, well I guess it is good that you won't have to pay for them.

 

Weddings are wonderful, but cause craziness!