10 replies to this topic

[PrecisePlans]

or is everyone fuc&ing inconsiderate!!! I am so annoyed right now. Okay, I've dealt with the LACK of rsvp's and the LACK of trip deposits, but my FH's (male) family members and friends are jerks!! His brothers keep hounding him wanting to know if the women are HOT in Jamaica and where they can find some "smoke"! His friends keep calling him and mentioning stuff about a "bachelor party".......NOT ONCE have any of them actually showed interest in us GETTING MARRIED. That's seems to be the last thing on their mind. What really took the cake is that my FH actually asked me if I would get upset if he left the resort one night to go out to the club with his friends/brothers.....

Am I being irrational? I just feel like this is not a spring break trip! THis is our wedding!!!! AArrrrgghhhH!!!!!

[Lizzy]

You know what, I think it is time to have a little sit down with FI. There is so much planning to a destination wedding, the last stress you need is all of his side worrying more about finding some good weed and getting some action while at your wedding, than the fact that the two of you are about to become a married couple! I mean, I would not want to get caught in a foreign country, smoking an illegal substance, and getting thrown in jail! How old are these people? They can do that at home. With that being said, I would also remind DFI that this is about the two of you, not about him and his friends. Maybe the boys could have their nite out b4 you leave. I would be upset...but then, it is just my opinion, coming from a mom.
Good luck honey.
Lizzy

[TammyWright]

i would be totally annoyed if my fiance soon to be husband wanted to go to the clubs without me...it would be one thing if it was a guys deep sea fishing outting but going to the clubs with his very single guy friends seems very insensitive.

[PrecisePlans]

OMG.......thank you so much ladies. I didn't know if it was just me because I am pms'ing right now and super sensitive. I expressed to him that I was upset about the focus being shifted away from our big day! He didn't understand why I was upset. I don't really want to address it again tonight, because I'm already stressed enough. Oh and i forgot to mention that another one of his friends that he hasn't spoken to since 2002 "heard" that we were getting married in Jamaica......he called and left a message saying, I want to go........he PRETTY MUCH INVITED HIMSELF and my FH called him back and casually gave him the details for our wedding.

This is not a damn barbeque.....this is a formal event that requires a guest list and INVITE. Not a freaking "free for all"

[chibi411]

wow... how old are these people? all that blows my mind. good luck and i hope things work out. you really need to talk to the FI

[PrecisePlans]

Quote:

Originally Posted by chibi411 wow... how old are these people? all that blows my mind. good luck and i hope things work out. you really need to talk to the FI

They are in their late 20's / early 30's..........too damn old for this nonsense. Everytime I try to talk to him about this sort of issue, he makes it sound as if I'm being "insecure" or that I'm making a big deal out of nothing and over-reacting.

[dragonfly]

I can understand your upset but try not to take it to personally, men first of all are idiots:), not just the one's in your life but most of them. Talk to your fh about how you want your trip to play out with him so that there are no unsuspected surprises, make it clear there will be no jamaican partying without you. I wouldn't however force your fh to confront his "boys", as long as you are both on the same page, let his brothers and friends be childish. Men, especially single men are programmed to put down marriage, just laugh it off I am sure you will find that they will truly be happy at your wedding, they just have to put on a good show. I married a Jamaican man, so I understand a little bit about the jamaican man's mentality when it come's to their "boy's" they all talk a good game but most of them are full of bs, lol. As for the "smoke" again people think of Jamaica and they want to know where the party is, by the way it is everywhere so tell them not to worry and they need not bother you with how to find it, that you have more important details to attend to like a little thing called your wedding:) Try to focus on what is important, you and your fh, don't let the stupidity of others get in the way of the most important day in your relationship

[nikkianddean]

I agree that it's time to have a sit down with your fiance. You are totally within reason to have concerns about his friends/family. While everyone loves a DW, it's about your love and a celebration of your new life together - it's not Memorial Day w/e in Cancun. I think if you tell your FH how you're feeling he will understand and work with you. Better to get it out than keep it bottled up inside. The last thing you want is to be stressed....there are plenty of other (POSITIVE) things to think about! Good luck!

[BarefootBride]

If it was me, I would just tell them that they are going to have a good time in Jamaica. I would tell them that they need to RSVP and put their money down on the trip if they dont want to miss out. That way you have some count of people that are actually coming. BTW, I would put tons of legal info and condoms in their damn welcome bags!!!
Honestly...not too long ago I would have been wondering if their was some hot men in Jamaica and "where the party was at?" So I am sooo sure these young single men are more interested in getting lucky, partying and checking out your single girlfriends then catching your garter and eating cake!
Now as far as the club issue.... that was insensitive. Personally I WISH my FI had friends to take him away to a club - even a strip club - I could care less... But not every woman is like me. So I would be really honest with him.
It sounds like he wants a guys night out... if youre not comfortable with that tell him Hell No!

[dragonfly]

Quote:

Originally Posted by BarefootBride BTW, I would put tons of legal info and condoms in their damn welcome bags!!!

I second that idea, some std info also and no this time it does not mean "save the date"