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Along the "Not my guest" line - what to do??


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#1 dayisun

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    Posted 06 February 2008 - 06:28 PM

    As a mother of the bride I am helping my daughter with her RSVP's. Problem is we sent out the Cruise Ship Group information and are now getting RSVP's for people we never heard of included in our guests RSVP cards. One party has included her four children, her in-laws, and some other people we don't know!

    We are happy to have all these people on the ship, but are very limited on the number of guests allowed at the Ceremony. Does anyone have a tactful way of kind of "weeding out" the uninvited passengers?

    Unfortunately, The Wedding Experience package only allows for a maximum of 75 people at the ceremony, and we already have 111 adults and 15 children with sailing reservations!!! With us it's not just a matter of cost, but of capacity . . .

    Any ideas?
    Proud Mother of the Bride

    #2 TammyWright

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    Posted 06 February 2008 - 06:47 PM

    i can see guest making a family vacation out of the wedding but it is not right for them to assume there is space a the ceremony/reception.

    do you have a wedding website where you can post something? have you sent out invitations?

    you may need to put some firm but polite wording about limited capacity = only those invited allowed at ceremony/reception

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    #3 foxytv

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      Posted 06 February 2008 - 06:49 PM

      Wow! I can't believe how many people are making the trip -- especially if you don't know a lot of them! lol

      I would suggest sending out a pre-cruise letter to all confirmed guests and stating in it how excited you are that so many people are going to be joining your daughter to share in this experience.

      Then, state that due to the cruise ship regulations, ceremony space is very limited, so unfortunately only a small group will be able to attend the actual ceremony but that you are looking forward to everyone joining in the reception that follows.

      Would that work? Then you can send small cards to each guest who you would like to attend the actual ceremony. Hopefully people will understand (especially those whom you don't even know!!!)

      I'm guessing that being from Miami is making it easier for many of your guests to jump on board?

      #4 rodent

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        Posted 06 February 2008 - 06:56 PM

        Quote:
        Originally Posted by foxytv
        Wow! I can't believe how many people are making the trip -- especially if you don't know a lot of them! lol

        I would suggest sending out a pre-cruise letter to all confirmed guests and stating in it how excited you are that so many people are going to be joining your daughter to share in this experience.

        Then, state that due to the cruise ship regulations, ceremony space is very limited, so unfortunately only a small group will be able to attend the actual ceremony but that you are looking forward to everyone joining in the reception that follows.

        Would that work? Then you can send small cards to each guest who you would like to attend the actual ceremony. Hopefully people will understand (especially those whom you don't even know!!!)

        I'm guessing that being from Miami is making it easier for many of your guests to jump on board?
        i think this is a good way to handle it. If they don't even know your daughter they probably don't want to attend the ceremony anyway. They just want to join in the fun of the cruise & really that doesn't hurt. I wouldn't invite them to the reception either if you are paying per person. Everyone can meet up after the reception to party on the boat. There is so much to do on a cruise they don't need to be included in the wedding stuff. They will probably be just as happy to pick their own place to dine that night & own entertainment. I mean, who wants to go to a wedding of someone they don't know?

        #5 neen

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          Posted 06 February 2008 - 06:57 PM

          Quote:
          Originally Posted by foxytv
          Wow! I can't believe how many people are making the trip -- especially if you don't know a lot of them! lol

          I would suggest sending out a pre-cruise letter to all confirmed guests and stating in it how excited you are that so many people are going to be joining your daughter to share in this experience.

          Then, state that due to the cruise ship regulations, ceremony space is very limited, so unfortunately only a small group will be able to attend the actual ceremony but that you are looking forward to everyone joining in the reception that follows.

          Would that work? Then you can send small cards to each guest who you would like to attend the actual ceremony. Hopefully people will understand (especially those whom you don't even know!!!)

          I'm guessing that being from Miami is making it easier for many of your guests to jump on board?
          I love this suggestion - I'll remember it for my wedding!

          #6 foxytv

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            Posted 06 February 2008 - 07:11 PM

            Quote:
            Originally Posted by Morgan
            i think this is a good way to handle it. If they don't even know your daughter they probably don't want to attend the ceremony anyway. They just want to join in the fun of the cruise & really that doesn't hurt. I wouldn't invite them to the reception either if you are paying per person. Everyone can meet up after the reception to party on the boat. There is so much to do on a cruise they don't need to be included in the wedding stuff. They will probably be just as happy to pick their own place to dine that night & own entertainment. I mean, who wants to go to a wedding of someone they don't know?
            Good point about not being invited to the reception either if they are paying per person. DUH! You would think I would have thought of that. lol.

            #7 LadyP

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              Posted 06 February 2008 - 10:15 PM

              A friend of mine had her wedding and i was not invited to the reception and I understood when I did not get a RSVP card.

              Also when you send the invitations can't you put the invited name(s) on the invitation

              #8 dayisun

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                Posted 06 February 2008 - 10:40 PM

                Thanks for the feedback!
                We already sent out the invitations with the invited guests name specifically written on the inside envelope. Unfortunately some people have ignored that little detail and are returning the RSVP's with the extra people listed! I like the idea of sending out a confirmation letter to those actually invited to the ceremony. I was toying with the idea of using a boarding pass type card those specifically invited to the ceremony. Would that be too tacky?
                Proud Mother of the Bride

                #9 dayisun

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                  Posted 06 February 2008 - 10:43 PM

                  I love this idea! By stating that it is due to Cruise Line regulations, may make it easier for people to understand.
                  Proud Mother of the Bride

                  #10 Maura

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                  Posted 06 February 2008 - 11:06 PM

                  kind of funny piece of trivia, but in mexico, typically if you are inviting someone to both ceremony and reception, you send party tickets with the invitation. if you are only inviting them to the ceremony, they dont get party tickets, so its pretty clear what you're invited to and how many people can attend! too bad that hasnt caught on in the US!

                  i say theres nothing wrong with sending out a little boarding pass thingy or something to the people who are invited to the ceremony, and make it clear that youd love to have everyone but the cruise ship has rules about the capacity of the room, etc etc




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