mnh1983

Welcome! I'm sure you'll find lots of suggestions for where to have your wedding after viewing all of the forums. Congratulations!

Welcome, and congratulations! I hope you find lots of helpful info here!

My FI's parents initially didn't offer to pay for anything, and we didn't want to be rude to ask. However, in the last month or so, they have offered to pay for FI's military mess dress and our flowers. Some of your in-laws may end up surprising you.

Love the shower photos! My shower is on the 7th, and I'm getting so excited! I'm so glad to be back on the forum. I went to log in a few days ago about almost cried when I saw the site was down!!!

Both of your bouquets look really beautiful! My bouquet and centerpieces are going to be really simple. All I'm having is red gerbera daisies. For our centerpieces, we'll also have a large brown square of material on the table/under the vases, and our favor boxes will surround the vases as they will be in front of each seat.

My mom paid for my dress, but I did not go shopping with the expectation that she would do so. I even had my credit card out to pay, but she gave me a crazy look and said, "What are you doing? I'm paying." We planned to pay for the entire wedding ourselves. My parents have given us some money, but I did not ask nor expect it since my father has a lot of health issues and medical bills. My fiance's parents have not offered to pay for anything except my fiance's military mess dress. I think times are different and you can't expect the same things that were maybe more traditional a few years ago.

Our situation is a little different in that we are getting married in a park in NY, so people aren't having to pay to stay at a resort or get a passport or anything. About half of our guests live within just a few hours of the park, and they are STILL COMPLAINING that it is costing too much. Yes, you may need to get a hotel room for a night or two and pay for gas, but I'm not asking you to shell out a ton of money.

I think maybe during my conversation yesterday with her, she finally "got it." She emailed me this morning and said that she is sure that whatever I plan will be beautiful and left it at that. We'll see how long this lasts.

Her messages are coming through both the FI and through conversations and emails with me. He has told her as recently as this weekend that he does not want to pass along her negative messages to me, so she just emails or calls me directly me about it. I've told her that I have already planned things and that I'm not changing them, but she continues anyway with "I'm just worried that things are going to turn out badly that way..." It has gotten to the point where the FI told her that if they do not like how we are doing things, they don't have to come. I have ignored a lot of things, but when it is on a daily basis and when I've already asked her to stop multiple times, it isn't that easy to keep ignoring. There was even a period of time when I refused to speak to her because I was tired of hearing her crap. We've asked her to butt out of other areas of our life too, but she won't. She is critical of everything we do, and she treats my FI like he is still in high school when he is almost 30. He stands up to her constantly, but she just laughs and tells him to not be so silly.

My FMIL is really getting on my nerves. She has irritated me throughout the entire wedding process, and I think I have finally had enough. I've tried to talk to her about the wedding throughout the last year, but she hasn't really seemed very interested, and when asked her opinion, she says that she is sure that whatever we come up with will be wonderful. She says these things, and then after we book or buy anything, she starts to complain. She doesn't like the fact that we are getting married on a Sunday, and she thinks a 4pm wedding is too late and that we need to move it up. She told my FI that my favor boxes are "cheap and tacky," and she suggested I return them for something else after she made me open the box and mail her one of the boxes so that she can help with getting the local candy for them. Umm, you can't return them if you don't have them all and one has been used, and I'm not wasting $40 to just stick them in a closet and buy something else. She thinks I should spend extra to have a florist do my centerpieces instead of me doing them myself (all I'm doing is gerbera daisies in vases, nothing difficult). She wants everything to change, yet she offers no money to help with any of this stuff she thinks would be better. FI and I had a big fight over the weekend because she told him that she thought that a lot of my ideas are stupid. I know he feels caught in the middle, but when I tried to talk to her over the weekend, she tried to act like she loved my ideas, which them made FI even more upset. He tried to talk to her, but she doesn't listen or seem to understand why we're frustrated. If she wants to give her input, fine, but do it when we initially ask you, not months later when things are paid for and we can't change them.

Quote: Originally Posted by islandbride317 My question is this: Does someone think verbally saying to me months ago "count me in" in sufficient, and that I will just know by osmosis that they are coming?! And what's even more noteworthy is that some of the worst "non-responders" are friends of mine that are brides-to-be (or recently married) themselves!!! WTF?!?! No, I don't think you should necessarily count a verbal "yes" as a yes. I say this because I've gotten a few "no" RSVPs in the last few days from people who told me previously that they were absolutely attending. And I am in the same boat about recent or upcoming bride friends who haven't responded at all. I figured that they of all people would know how important it is to have a head count.

That lady was extremely rude! I had my own drama with the post office. I took my invitations to be weighed, only to find out when I went back to mail them that they had told me the wrong amount of postage needed.

We were hoping to keep the budget around $10,000, but I think we are going to be closer to around $12,000. It all still depends on how many RSVPs we get back so that we can tell the coordinator how many will have dinner and open bar. A difference of 15 people could mean $1000, so who knows at this point. Here is a rough breakdown: Reception: $8000 Band: $2000 Cake and flowers: $500 Dress/Mess Dress for FI - $750 Photographer - $800 STDs/Invites/Favors/Decorations (all done myself) - $200

Yay for having your wedding paid off! All of our money is due in the next few weeks. As for RSVPs, we've only gotten heard from about 25% of the people we've invited. I know there are some family who can't attend but to whom I sent invites, but there are a lot of people who were all gung-ho about a vacation who haven't said a word to me. If you can't come, fine, but at least let me know so I can have enough food and favors for everyone.

We've got ten days left before our RSVP date, and we've only gotten back 15/81 cards. A few have called or facebooked us, and there are some family that I knew probably wouldn't attend, but it seems like there are some people who have fallen off the face of the earth! Whoever said that people start avoiding you is right. The only friends that have RSVP'd are our matron of honor and best man. All of these other friends who were sooo excited about the trip are suddenly silent. I'm hoping that we get more responses in the next couple of weeks.

You look so awesome Jenny!!!

Congratulations Jenny! You did an incredible job! I'm happy with what I lost. I actually think that if I kept going towards my goal weight, it would be too much, so I think I am just going to maintain where I am and maybe just work on toning only. Thanks to all of you ladies for the awesome support over the last couple of months!

Well, I'm proud of the weight I lost, but I'm frustrated too because now my wedding dress is too big! It was a little tight before, but I guess 8 pounds was too much weight to lose because now I have to have it taken in!

I already have my dress, but I'm trying it on tomorrow with my shoes to see if I'll have the length altered at all. Here is a link to my dress: Charmeuse Gown with Chiffon Shirred Bodice Detail - David's Bridal

Same thing just happened to me. I took the invitations to be weighed and bought stamps. Two days later, I took the invitations back to the post office to be mailed, and the clerk told me they didn't have enough postage. The first clerk had given me the wrong amount. Luckily, I caught it before they were mailed out, but I had to buy another $16 in stamps (on top of the $80 I had already spent). The postage clerk felt so bad about her coworker's mistake that she took my invitations and put the extra stamps on for me, saying that it was the least she could do since they had screwed up. Apparently the error in postage had to do with the fact that my invitations have a tied ribbon inside of them which makes a tiny bump. The first postal worker didn't take that into account and went by weight only. So, for those of you with ribbons, buttons, etc. inside, make sure to ask them to take that into account!!!

I sent out my invitations a few days ago, so we shall soon see how many people will RSVP. I made my response date about two weeks before I really need to know so that I can hopefully catch stragglers. I have to give a head count to the coordinator for our dinner, so I figure I will take the number I get and add a few, just in case. I don't see what is so hard about writing your name on a card and sending back in an envelope that already has postage on it! My cousin got married last fall, and our aunt never RSVP'd for the wedding. She didn't even call. The wedding was in October, and now at the end of June, my cousin still never heard anything from my aunt about not coming or calling. It isn't like my aunt didn't know either. My cousin and uncle aren't mad that she didn't come but mad because of the fact that she didn't have the decency to fill out the card. It definitely has caused a rift on that side of the family. Just be courteous folks!!!

I used the cake and clock stamps. I asked for them to be hand cancelled so they wouldn't get so tattered, but I'm sure they probably will end up looking tattered anyway! So sad!

Quote: Originally Posted by mrs.timpone Tanyon......those are beautiful centerpieces! I love the 2nd choice, the sliced lemons and tulips! MNH....ugh im going thru kind of the same thing!! Every post office near me is out of pretty 20 cent stamps!! I know its not a big deal but I just want it to look nice and the 20 cent stamps are hideous! Its funny bc a fellow BDW member pointed out to me that "no once cares about the details of you wedding but you" but I disagree! lol It is probably true though that no one will even notice but us and the other friends I've invited who are planning their own weddings.

So, I forgot to tell everyone about my upset with the invitations. I took a finished one to the post office on Saturday to find out how much postage would be needed, and I bought these pretty wedding stamps with the exact postage to go on them. I took them yesterday to be mailed, and I was told that whoever had weighed and figured out the postage on Saturday was wrong and that I needed an extra 20cents on each one. My only option was to have UGLY NON-MATCHING 10 cent stamps added on. The ladies at the post office yesterday were so nice though and made three phone calls about whether I could get away without the extra postage (the extra postage had to do with the thickness of the envelope and not being able to go through one of the sorting machines). They felt so bad that someone had given me the wrong info that one of the postal workers took all of my invitations and said she would go sit and add on the extra stamps to all 80 of them so that I wouldn't have to do it. Not a total disaster, but I was a bit upset that I had spent time getting really nice stamps to go on there and I had to have random stamps added on too.

I don't think they'll change the water color in just a couple of hours. Why don't you test it out and see how it goes?