Christy335

Quote: Originally Posted by jamaicabride10 Sorry to get ratty about this, but I feel when someone asks HOW to ask for money as a gift...they have already decided to do it and are looking for help on the HOW. They are not asking if they should or not. Maybe lets put our differences aside and only reply with something helpful (if we have it) for the original poster?? I think the information I gave IS helpful. If the original poster has decided to go for the "ask for cash" idea, that's her prerogative. But if she didn't know that it is considered "taboo" to ask, I think my post is helpful in shedding light on that. Also, forums aren't just for the person asking the question. This information stays here permanently, so the next girl who comes along and reads this topic may not know the etiquette in this situation, and it would be wrong of me not to share what I know with the community. I may not have the best advice on designing invitations or what to put in an OOT bag, but I do know this subject, thanks to my mom and Miss Manners Classes I had to take as a kid, and the books that went along. Like I said, no one has to take my advice, but for those who are interested in knowing what is considered proper etiquette, I think it's good knowledge to share. But, of course, some people may share your opinion that registering is the same thing as asking for a gift, so you may as well ask for cash. That sounds perfectly logical too. I guess that like Starchild said, that's how the boards work. You pick up the things you like, and leave the things you don't.

icy : slurpee

Ha! Kristy!, we did the same thing. I was reading all of these responses that people asked for RSVPs 2 or 3 months before the wedding and I started thinking I was crazy. My wedding is May 2010, I sent out Save the Dates July 2009, and asked for RSVPs by Sept 2009. I know people will be late, so this gives me ample time for the late stragglers to RSVP and for me to start planning with numbers in mind. Plus, one of my resorts is a series of 6 villas that we must fill, and the other is a small resort/hotel that may be completely booked with vacationers if my wedding guests don't reserve their rooms early.

I agree with JCruz, just put the info for your resort on your website. Just label it "Guest Accomodations" and it will be implied that all of your guests will be staying there. People will probably talk to you before they book anyway, so just talk up your resort and say how excited you will be to spend that time hanging out by the beach/pool/bar with everyone for the whole trip. No one will want to stay far from that kind of fun!

I was in a wedding where the BMs (& GM) walked down the aisle, waited for the bride to come down the aisle, then we all took our seats in a reserved row in the front of the church. Granted, this was a Catholic wedding, so we had to stand, sit, kneel, stand again, kneel again, etc. so we needed to sit. But if you feel like it would be too many people standing at the alter with you, you could have them walk down the aisle and be showcased as the bridesmaids, in a place of honor, but then have them sit for the ceremony. It's YOUR wedding... you can do whatever feels right to you. BTW - I'm having 5 BMs and my FI is having 10 GM. We're expecting approx 60 - 80 people at our wedding.

I'm adding this to my Word doc of "To Dos" that I don't want to forget. Thanks! :-)

I agree with Scarletina : you can definitely do this for a symbolic ceremony. In fact, a sand ceremony IS symbolic, so it definitely fits! It's not a religious ritual (although some people choose to make in religious and include God in their wording) so it doesn't belong solely in a religious ceremony. But also don't feel that it's something you HAVE to do just because you are getting married on a beach. "Designing" your ceremony should be personal and include things that have meaning to you. I'm personally not doing a send ceremony b/c it doesn't touch me the way it does other people. So, do what has meaning to you.. if you love it, definitely do it! (Or if hopping backwards in a circle while patting your head and rubbing your tummy has special meaning to you, then, by all means, do that!)

Some people don't care about tact, and for those people, if you don't mind what people say/think about you, go ahead and ask for cash. I don't have any friends that would ask for cash because we are like-minded. Your friends are more than likely similar to you (as most people gravitate towards people like themselves) and won't be bothered by your request if you are the type of person to ask for cash. BUT for those who would ask for cash because they are ignorant (as in, uneducated, not stupid) and want to know what is considered tactful or in-line with etiquette, here are a few BASIC no-no's: 1) NEVER put ANY information about gifts on a formal invitation. This includes sticking registry cards inside envelopes delivering invitations. Don't even put a phrase like "Your presence is present enough" on your invitations. If you MUST, you can put it on your wedding website, however the jury is still out on whether this is tactful. If someone throws you a shower, they may include information about where you are registered in the envelope. For your wedding, people will simply ask you or your parents or your bridesmaids where you are registered. Once again, if you care about etiquette, DO NOT mention gifts or your registry on your invitation. 2) NEVER ask for cash. It doesn't matter if it's in the form of a cute poem or a blatant statement. In this same regard, money trees, money dances, wishing wells, etc are considered TACKY. I know in some Spanish cultures, money dances are considered the norm for a wedding. This is not true in American culture. If you are not Spanish, DO NOT have a money dance. And never, never, never start a money dance for yourself (ie asking a DJ to start it, or including it in your wedding schedule) no matter what your culture is! 3) DO NOT take a gift TO a wedding. (Even envelopes.) Gifts should be sent before (or after ... you have 1 full year from the wedding date to send gifts, according to Miss Manners) the wedding. ESPECIALLY a destination wedding. How could someone expect the bride and groom to board a plane with all those additional boxes (especially now since the airlines are charging so much money for extra bags.) Even at an "at home" wedding, the bride and groom are going to rush off after their wedding, and their parents, bridal party, etc already have to clean up, break down decorations, finish last minute details. It is inconsiderate to bring extra work for whoever is doing "clean-up" after a wedding. People ALWAYS (without fail) bring gifts to weddings, so a gift table is usually set up, which makes people think you are supposed to bring a gift to a wedding (horrible cycle)... BUT YOU SHOULD NOT. With registries on-line now-a-days, you can have the gifts shipped directly to the couple's home, or their parent's home - depending on what they have set up. 4) It is officially against etiquette rules to set up a honeymoon registry, but the more modern we become, the fuzzier these lines get. Know your audience. If Aunt Edna and a bunch of your parents friends are invited to your wedding, they may think this is tacky. If all of your guests are young (and hip) they may not be offended by such a site. However, just be informed that a honeymoon registry is *technically* asking for cash. My mother, queen of manners/etiquette, says it is even rude NOT to register. I don't want to register, because we don't want more "stuff", but I also don't want cash. I want my wedding to be about sharing an important time in my life with people who matter to me. I will definitely NOT be putting my registry on my wedding website. I will ask anyone who throws me a shower to make it a "luncheon" or "gathering" rather than a shower and ask that gifts not be included. (Some people request recipes or advice cards... as in, advice for the bride & groom about married life.) I will register somewhere that allows cash returns and only let my mother tell her friends about it who *insist* on getting a gift. She will also tell them that we really don't want gifts, but their attendance at our wedding or well wishes for us in married life is their gift. This list is only for people who are uninformed about what is traditionally considered tacky vs tactful. If you do not care about traditional etiquette, please don't be offended. It is your right to throw tradition to the wind and do whatever you want.

I mentioned on my website that you must be a guest at the resort to come on-site. I'm not leaving an option to choose a different resort. I also have a wedding planner in my hometown who is my RSVP contact on my save the dates. When people call to RSVP, they also book their rooms through my Wedding Planner. They can't RSVP "yes" if they don't book the rooms. Having a 3rd party to do this keeps me from having to be the "bad guy." It also makes it easier to keep track of who has paid for their trip and who hasn't so I have an accurate count for my wedding guests. (No having to worry about Cousin Gertrude who said she's coming, but never actually booked her trip.) I really wanted a small wedding, but the list kept growing and growing. It may be selfish, but if people don't come to my wedding because they can't stay at another resort, that will help to cut down the guest list. The people that I REALLY want there (my mom, dad, sister, brother, and FI of course) will all be there and that's all that matters to me. Everyone else is just extra. I'm not FORCING anyone to come to my wedding, so it's not like I'm forcing them to stay at our resort. If they don't want to stay there, they just won't come to Jamaica for our wedding. It's really not that big of a deal. People turn down wedding invitations all the time.

Welcome! I know what you mean about being hooked! I've been lurking here for almost 10 months before I started really posting. I just loved grabbing up so many great ideas, but now I'm trying to share some of the great info I've found (and keep finding more!) Enjoy surfing the boards!

I <3 Wedding Reviews! Thanks for joining and sharing! I'm headed to look at your review now! BTW - your avatar pic is cute!

Welcome to the forum and congrats on your upcoming wedding! (I'm getting married right around the same time as you!) Just out of curiosity, are you wanting to stay under $2k per person or per couple?

At the bottom of word, you should have an "auto shapes" tool bar. (If not, click on "insert" then "auto shapes") Choose the "oval" shape and then draw a circle of whatever size you would like. Then right-click and choose "format auto shape". Under the tab "Colors and Lines" go to the row marked "Line" and then choose the drop-down menu for "Dashed". The second option in the menu looks like diamonds (it's really dots). Select that option. Then in the drop down menu for "Weight" play around with that until you find the size that works for your logo. (Try 6 pt to start and work from there.) You can of course change the color under the "Color" drop down menu. This is not for the newest version of MS Word (I forget what the new version is called.) That one drove me nuts to learn how to use (we had it at work) but once I finally figured it out, I liked it. If you have the newer version, play around with any of the menus that look similar to what I described above. If someone can offer better assistance for the newer version of Word, please do.

I would really recommend having your overflow guests stay st the Cliffs. The Moondance people are really accommodating about shuttling guests back and forth between the two resorts, and their AI rate at the Cliffs also covers them if they come eat meals at the Villas. (For example if your overflow guests come hang out on the beach at the Villas with you one day, they don't have to leave to eat lunch, they can just stay and nosh with everyone else.) If your FI doesn't want to honeymoon at the resort where some of your guests will be staying (and may be extending their vacation, and thus be there with you), why not honeymoon on a different part of the island and get to see another side of Jamaica? My brother and his wife just honeymooned at Royal Plantation in Ochos Rios and they said they absolutely LOVED it. It is a smaller hotel (although I believe it is owned by the same people who own Sandals, but it is much nicer - ... think Eddie Bauer edition ) and has an AI plan. They said they felt like they were treated like royalty and it was an intimate setting for their honeymoon. And, yes, my little brother chose his honeymoon location AFTER he knew that I was getting married in JA. I think it's cute that he wanted to be like his big sis. haha!

I saw a bunch of her work beforehand and LOVED it! Most of the photos on the Sungold site that I liked best (although, I liked most of them) were taken by her. She has an artistic style and her photo-editing is great! (Colors really pop!) Even her posed pics don't look so stiff and "posey" like so many wedding pics I have seen. And her candids seem to really catch the feeling of the moment. (I personally prefer candids over posed pics, so getting candids that don't look like my little brother just pushed the button on his digi-cam are important!) Also, she came in SIGNIFICANTLY lower than a lot of other photogs (I also liked Brian Nejedly's (sp?) work, but he was more expensive than her.) I DO SUGGEST to anyone considering using Misha to contact her directly and do not go through Sungold first. I contacted Sungold first because my Wedding Planner in Houston is close friends with Paula and she recommended I use them, but unfortunately they were outside of my budget. I later contacted Misha on my own and got a great rate from her, but when Paula found out, I ended up having to go through Sungold. I got the same rate and contract, but I feel bad because that cuts into Misha's earnings, since I'm sure she'll have to share a percentage with Sungold. I also want to say that Misha is soooooo sweet! I am facebook friends with her now and she makes sweet comments on my status updates. here's her website: MishaEarlePhotography.com She's also doing our TTD the day after the wedding, and I can't wait for those! ***Disclaimer - I have nothing against Paula and Damien of Sungold. In fact, I was going to have them do my E-pics, because they have a residence near me in Texas, but because they are so established, I really just can't afford their rates. I spoke and emailed with Paula multiple times, and she is such a sweet lady.

pizza : cheesy

shanelle - I actually have NO IDEA what I'll do for the formal invites... I'm actually kinda scared to think about it. (I hate making decisions! .... they're just so... final.) I'm sure I'll spend countless hours on here searching the forum for inspiration. Jenna20 - I actually bought the Fiskars Trimmer at Michaels. I'm not sure if Staples carries it. It was about $40 at Michaels, but just get one of their 40% off coupons and that drastically reduces the price. (Although it is TOTALLY worth the $40)

I've seen some people put on their wedding websites that if their guests want to stay at a different resort there will be a "$XX charge" to come on the resort for the wedding day. It's up to you, but I'm just asking all of my guests to stay at my resort or the sister resort.

What is the problem that Travelocity is having with your trip? Is it a cancelled flight or a changed flight time (or something else all together? If you ask to speak directly to the manager on duty, you may be able to express your frustration and see if he/she can work it out for you. I hate speaking with people on phone banks, because they don't get paid very well, so they tend not to care too much about doing their job correctly or about giving good customer service. Sometimes managers value their jobs a little bit more at those places and will work harder to solve the problem. Also, if you really wanted to get results, you could tape the conversation (or just tell them you are taping the conversation) and see what a difference that makes in their level of customer service. Good luck!

Oh fabulous! I think it's so neat that we're all going to be in the same month at moondance! I am using Misha Earle as my photographer. She is an associate of Sungold's. I'm not having a cake, so I can't make any recommendations there. This is my post on what I'm doing in lieu of wedding cake: (http://bestdestinationwedding.com/forum/t46735) I met Oneika last Dec when we went, and she was great! I'm so excited to have my wedding there!! Oh, gbyrd, I love Sarah Sproullie's work.

blckrevpower - We took the price for the whole weekend, subtracted the price of the 1 bedroom (lilac mist) and then came up with an average cost. We're letting our guests choose which resort they want to stay at, Moondance Villas or Cliffs, and then once the Villas are full (first come- first serve) we'll separate the guests by who we think will be good matches sharing the Villas. So, for instance, if 5 of my FI's college buddies (+ dates) RSVP, we'll put them in the 5 bedroom. If only 1 of my high school girlfriends (+ her date) RSVPs for the Villas, I may stick her with my brother and his wife and my sister and her husband in the 3 bedroom. It'll be like a seating chart (aren't those just so much fun to do) but for rooms. I'm really not too worried about people feeling awkward about sharing because each room has its own master bathroom, so no one has to share. It'll be like staying in a small hotel that only has a few other rooms and shares a living room. Plus, I have so many fun things planned for the 5 days that we're there that I don't expect people to be spending that much time inside the villas. We had originally considered having the 1 bedroom for us, the 2 bedroom for my father & his wife, and my fiance's parents, then the 3 bedroom for my sister, brother, and mother, having 4 of FI's groomsmen in the 4 bedroom, and the other 5 groomsmen in the 5 bedroom, and then my 2 bridesmaids in the other 5 bedroom with 3 of my other girlfriends and then just making everyone pay the rate for the Villa they were in. After thinking about it, I decided it wasn't fair. The guys in the 4 bedroom shouldn't have to pay more than the guys in the 5 just because of the way we assigned their rooms. And some of my girlfriends may not be able to afford to stay in the Villas, so I wanted to give them the option to stay at Moondance Cliffs if they wanted to pay a lower price or if they couldn't stay the whole 5 days. Also, some of our friends who we had originally decided to book at the Cliffs have the chance to book at the Villas now if they want to. Also, our parents decided to stay at Moondance Cliffs so they could be around their friends for the week. It was hard to come to this decision, but I think it will make more people happy to have a decision in where they stay. Which Villas do you have rented out for your wedding?

Thanks for the positive comments, girls! OuchieBride - the thin palm tree is a lowercase "f" in the font Tropicana BV and the palm tree in the circle is a lowercase "g" in the same font. I attached the font to my original post, so you should be able to download it and put it in your fonts file to use. If you can't download it from there, you can go to dafont.com and download it. Kelz & Finsup - For the sleeves, I folded the heavy weight paper that I wanted to use in 3rds (use a scoring tool for this - like the fiskars rotary cutter that I showed a picture of - it makes it SO much easier to make the lines straight). Then I used my Fiskars cutting blade to slice an "insert pocket" into the middle section of my folded paper. I made the cut slightly diagonal, because I liked that look best, although you could make the cut straight if you preferred that. Then I used hot glue to glue down the ends (top, bottom, and side). Don't glue the inside fold, because then you may have problems with the ticket fitting in straight. I used a bone folder (you can get one at any craft store - it looks kind of like a butter knife) to smooth down the edges that I glued. Then to finish it off, I tied rafia around the middle. When I took it to the post office to mail, the lady told me that because there was a knot in the middle of the envelope, it might get rejected by the machine, but as far as I know, everyone received their Save the Dates already. So I guess the lesson from that is to just try to keep the knots small.

I don't think they have officially stared Season 7 yet, but I think it's in the works. But I know exactly what you mean about the FI and food. Although mine is sweet and instead of telling me I need to lose weight, he asks me if I want to work out with him so we can spend more time together. I know what he's telling me, but it's great that he doesn't actually say it. :-) BUT he can eat and eat and eat.... and EAT and not gain any weight. He's still got a bunch of muscle from his football days, so his metabolism is really high. And when he eats poorly it makes me want to do the same. But, the wedding is 10 months away, so no more of that!

highway : cops

Oh, I also wanted to add the "fine print" from the last page. It reads: The Fine Print: Guests choosing to attend this wedding are guaranteed a fabulous vacation, great food, fun people, and an all around good time. Tanner-Kargbo Airlines does not guarantee against tan lines, full stomachs, inebriation, a complete personality transformation to a “No problem, mon” attitude, and a desire to never return home. Guests may not hold Tanner-Kargbo Airlines liable if all future vacations pale in comparison.