BeautifulBridetoBe

Not having one either, but it evolved that way. At first, we thought of having what I called a "pre-ception" - I envisioned a Jack and Jill shower prior to the wedding, inviting only those who could not make it. We thought of having it at a museum or small restaurant...we pick a set menu and pick up the tab. Then we started getting our RSVPs back...and realized that those who weren't coming to the wedding were really courtesy invites....we realized that the majority of those we invited to the wedding period were courtesy invites! A destinaton wedding is a hard sell...so we invited many people out of respect, knowing that they would not make it. At the end of the day, those closest were coming...so we decided not to incur the added expense. So no AHR...and I am quite happy about it!

Looking for 12 white parasols...anyone in Ontario have these for sale? Let mw know, BB2B

Hey ladies: For those of you who have ordered or used OT parasols, are they of decent quality and size? I am only ordering 12 for our mothers, our flower girl, me and those guests that really cannot take the sun. The ceremony is less that 1/2 hour long, so the rest won't die Luna Bazaar does not ship to Canada, so they are not an option, and OT is cheaper than Asian Ideas.... But does cheaper mean poorer quality?

In the same boat with the same concerns: have two households, do not need another toaster, have not registered anywhere, would prefer monetary gifts, having mother spread the word about cash, concerned that guests will then give us things we don't need or like....glad to know that there are other brides who have not registered either, who have the same questions. We've decided to have the word spread and be thankful for any envelopes or toasters that come our way. I also think it helps if people know what your plans are for the money: planning to buy a new house, new bedroom set, new couches. They might feel better knowing that they are not paying for a month of pizza and pedicures!

They don't ship to Canada... Oh, my Canadian sisters....Zellers has nothing like this to offer us! Nonetheless, it looks very pretty.....

What do you do when you have nothing to register for? My FI and I do not live together, but we moved out of our parent's homes recently and have bought all new stuff...2 of everything for our separate apartments. Now that we are getting married, we already have the little items we need. We tried registering and found 6 whole items that we wanted in the entire store! So we decided not to register and waste people's money on things we do not need. What we need are big ticket items! A new sofa set, a new bedroom set, furniture, etc. for our new house, not another toaster or bread maker or vaccuum cleaner. And these big ticket items will be looked for and bought after the wedding, when we have bought a home....so I wouldn't know where to ask for gift certificates to. Money would really be most practical, but we do not want to make it seem as though it is the only option. We are having my mom and his grandmother spread the word, but people are raising eyebrows when they hear we haven't registered. (Not pregnant, just thought this icon was adorable..

This can get even more interesting of a scenario... What if they are paying for themselves? Can guests bring whomever they want to your wedding if they are footing the bill? Does the bride/ groom have any say if people want to bring others who are paying for themselves and their vacations? I recently had this discussion with a gf of mine too who wants to bring someone I am not comfortable with to my wedding. She has been in an off and on, tumultuous relationship for years with this person. I once exchanged words with him about his poor treatment of her and it became a heated discussion. They broke up 2 years ago, but now he is back and she is trying to make it work again...even though he hasn't shown any change. She wants to bring him to my wedding...for one whole week. In the same breath, she tells me he has already made disparaging comments about my wedding. I lovingly said no. Another gf told me that I cannot dictate who people bring on vacation...I do not own the resort and if people are paying for themselves, we cannot dictate the guest list. I disagree. A bride has every right to be comfortable on her wedding day and for the week of her wedding, in the case of a destination wedding. Guests have gathered to see us married...not only for the purpose of a random vacation. Therefore, I feel that we must do what will make us most happy and comfortable...gently, so that we do not damage our relationships.

I also thought I didn't want one because I hated the thought of asking people to come and buy me presents. But as time draws nearer, I am beginning to feel that it may be nice to be celebrated...all brides should be in a way that makes them comfortable. So my mother has decided to throw one for me because we are having an all-child wedding party...hence no MOH or BM to throw one. What I think makes me a little upset is the attitude of your guests...they are not buying you anything because they are not going to your wedding? Their gift is tied to their attendance? So a gift is the price of admission? If close friends or family have said this, then that is truly unfortunate. It is not about them...your wedding is a time to celebrate your commitment and this new step in your life. Don't be embarrassed about having a small shower...those that truly love you will be there. So if it is 5 people, then celebrate with those 5 in a way that makes you happy and comfortable. Perhaps not a full blown shower, but a tiny "sprinkle"....doing something you like in an afternoon out: lunch and a movie, afternoon tea, a spa day, etc. I'd personalize it and make it more your style and very cosy. Five may be just the right number...

Just a quick question: In keeping with tradition, are you giving your guests bombonnierres at the reception? Or just small favours? (The difference being that bombonnierres are usually more sunstantial gifts for guests. At at home weddings they can be picture frames, bottles of wine, etc. Whereas favours are little thanks-yous like candy, tiny bells, wedding cake in boxes, etc.) At the destination weddings I have attended, we were given bombonnierres: a CD from one couple and a beautiful Mikasa crystal vase filled with sand and shells from another. If so, what are you giving? Looking for inexpensive ideas.....this is in addition to the OOTs.

Another Tip: Read the "What I would and wouldn't do again" thread on this website. Recently married brides from this website tell us what they regret spending money on and what they would most definately splurge on again. It has helped me reconsider my budget, especially when 50 brides have said spending extra on cake wasn't worth it because no one ate the cake by the time dessert time came around or that 60 brides said definately do the TTD session! It helps you to assign your destination dollars wisely...

Culture plays a big role in this discussion. In some cultures, especially European cultures, it is customary to cover the cost of your plate per person as well as give a generous gift on top of that. In these cultures, the bride and groom are typically blessed abundantly financially...and that's a nice way to start in this day and age. In other cultures, weddings are a time to host family and friends with no financial expectations. It is about treating your guests well, so the gifts are not as abundant financially or may be more sentimental. So I think culture plays a role in deciding how much to give for a wedding gift.That being said, we typically give $100 per person. That is considered high in our culture, but weddings are no longer the inexpensive family gatherings they once were. We believe that a wedding is a time to bless the bride and groom with your best gift...whatever that is. It can be $20 if that is all you really have...It is not the amount but the sentiment behind it that is honourable. I just don't think it is right to give the gift of $50, then spend $450 making yourself - a guest - look beautiful for the day as it is not about you. I think your best gift, whatever that is, should go to the couple.

For me, marriage is an commitment and decision communicated to God and the world that a man and a woman want to consecrate their relationship in a way that living common-law does not. It is a different step. I originally asked the question because a recent discussion with colleagues centered around this topic. Those recently married who had cohabited with their partners prior to getting married in Ontario said there was no real difference. As our law recognizes common-law after one year, I wondered why they got married...if there is no real difference. I believe the answer is because somewhere in it all, there is a difference and it mattered to one party or both or their families. For me, the difference is spiritual. I understand that not everyone shares this view of the difference....but there is a difference. From reading our comments, most of us seem to agree that marriage somehow differs from common-law...in a way that has nothing to do with legalities...but level of commitment. Thanks for the comments...

Hi ladies: I believe this is an issue of ettiquette, not on our part, but on the part of our lovely guests. Tell what you think and what you are doing if this is your situation... Yes, we must be understanding because we decided to have a destination wedding and some guests may not be able to attend. Yes, we must be patient because we are asking people to spend money to join us on our special day and they want to get the best deal, so may be waiting until last minute. Yes, we must be loving because we want as many to attend as possible. No, we do not want to force or nag anyone.... HOWEVER... We have deadlines. Our resort called me needing to know the exact number in our party. I think they have many weddings booked for our day and need to figure out ceremony and reception locations and capacities. We have about 25 guests booked...and 25 "yeses" that have yet to book and 50 outstanding RSVPs that we have not heard a thing from! Our deadline was November, just for a general head count. I do not want to call anyone...because I do not want to appear to be nagging anyone into anything they may not be able to do or cannot afford. I just gave the hotel the confirmed number plus an additional 10 family members that we are certain will join us....so 35. The truth is that we cannot wait forever...and in the end, those that haven't RSVPd will most likely not join us. Is anyone else dealing with guests say they are coming, but have yet to book? Or RSVP for that matter? How are you handling this with a smile?

I just found a great book at Chapters Indigo for we frugal brides! It's called 1000 Best Wedding Bargains by Sharon Naylor. She has some great tips...like instead of a sit down dinner have a floating cocktail reception (very trendy , very chic and not as expensive), how and where to find a great designer dress, alternatives to a veil, cheap shoes, his tux, great favours, etc. Check it out...at your local library first, of course Five minutes later... Just checked my library and they have it as an electronic resource that I can download for 3 weeks...so I guess that's savings on top of savings!

What great detail you put into everything. It all looks amazing.

We are having an all-white wedding. Our all-child wedding party will wear white, we will wear white and we have asked guests to wear shades of white. It is pure and elegant and much easier for the resort! Beacuse all of their basics come in white, such as table linens, chair covers, etc. we have less decor to bring with us. So white candles, white centerpieces, white organza favours, white parasols, white fans. White is so bright and beautiful in the daylight...and crisp and romantic under the moonlight.

This thread is absoultely AMAZING! The things I have learned and money I have saved...THANK YOU ALL!

Tip #11 Dust off your library card!There are some great books on destination wedding planning...and you do not have to buy them to benefit from their advice. While researching veil ideas, I came across a recommended book called "Veiled in Beauty" for brides who want to make their own veils, hair flowers and head pieces. I jumped onto Amazon.com and found it for the bargain basement price of $20. I got ready to order, then I thought, "Hmmm, I wonder if the library..." Well, my city library has 8 copies! So I just put one on hold. They also have up-to-date and new books on bridal bouquet ideas, centerpieces, gowns, favours and numerous copies of " Destination Wedding Planning for Dummies" and "The Everything Destination Wedding Handbook", both of which I recommend for their great ideas. Check the library before you buy any books...you can photocopy the few pages you find interesting. After the wedding, you may find that you don't actually need to own the books you've bought...and they are taking up space in your home BB2B

Thanks, Neen for the suggestion. I will use it. ErinB: my FH says we will just put anyone that does not comply at the back

Hey ladies: I have always dreamed of having an all-white destination wedding. It looks amazing, pure and timeless in a tropical setting. So now that I am having the destination part, my question is how do I politely ask guests to wear white or some shade of it to the ceremony? I have expanded white to include off-white, ivory, cream, eggshell, seashell, magnolia, winter silk, buff, beige, camel and tan and just about every other white-like shade under the sun just to cover the spectrum and give those who do not like white some neutral choice Who knew there were so many shades! My family is fine with this...I am just concerned about other guests of which there are few. I am concerned because: a.) guests are already paying to come to our wedding b.) some guests who have chosen to stay at other resorts are also paying for their own day passes c.) and now we want them to wear a certain colour to the ceremony...and they may have to shop to do so. As, I have said, the majority of our guests are fine with this...even happy about it. After all, how often are you invited to wear white to a wedding? I don't want to make it difficult and it is not, as it is only a few people. But I am also trying to have my day as I would like to remember it. FH says they should understand...and the ceremony is only 22 minutes long! They can change into that hot pink number for the reception. Thoughts?

That's interesting. In Ontario, to be legally recognized you must cohabit in a conjugal relationship for 1 year.

OK, so you can probably see that I like meaningful conversations I thought it would be nice to talk about why we are marrying our future husbands. Trust me, it will serve as a reminder on those days when we want to choke them! Me first: I think my fiance is the most gentle man that I have ever known. To see him on the street you would not know it...he's quite tall and solid, so he gives off a tough guy aura. He has seen me through my best and worst. I am not always the most understandable person at times...and he is still here. He walks me through things and is the most patient and incredible listener that I have ever known. We share the same strong faith. And this has kept us going. If I have had a hard day, he prays with me. This shows me that he understands where our strength comes from. He is my human rock: sound, stable and solid in a world that is everything but. What about you? Why are you marrying your fiance? Let's celebrate the men who will become our husbands, BB2B

Hey ladies: Well, we are all brides-to-be or newly wed so we have made the decision to get married. In today's society, marriage rates are crumbling and common-law relationships are sky rocketing. Many say that they are one in the same. My question to you is: do you see a difference? And if so, what is it? I already know what I think....just wondering what your thoughts are. Let's talk! BB2B

Wow.... I guess my FH and I are truly 'old fashioned'! Our Christian faith is very important to us and the basis of our relationship. We have dated since '03 and agreed from the beginning to save it all for our wedding night, so for sure there won't be any children before our marriage! For us, we want to experience all that married life has to offer. My FH does not have children and neither do I...so when we become parents it will be very special..oh, and at least a year after the wedding!

December 2008 Susan & Jason - December 5, 2008 - Dreams Los Cabos Amy & Michael - December 5, 2008 - Dreams Tulum Danielle & Anthony - December 5, 2008 - Couples Swept Away, Jamaica Miriam & Herman - December 5, 2008 - Bavaro Princess, Punta Cana, DR Brianna & Danny - December 6, 2008 - Dreams Cancun Athena & Byron - December 6th, 2008 - The Royal in Playa del Carmen Ra'Shunda & Jason - December 6, 2008 - Secrets Capri in Playa del Carmen Laura & Josh - December 7, 2008 - Dreams Tulum Red & Matthew - Hopefully December 8, 2008 - somewhere in Jamaica! Sonia (chonee) & Juan - December 8, 2008 - Barcelo Maya Colonial Resort Anna & Sean - December 8, 2008 - Maui, Hawaii Kirsten & David - December 11, 2008 - El Dorado Royale Dianna & Eric - December 11, 2008 - Riu Ocho Rios Jamaica Andrea & Kevin (Kevsgirl) - December 12, 2008 - Shangri-La Caribe, Playa del Carmen Toni & Mike (Phillygal) - December 13, 2008 - Iberostar Rose Hall, Jamaica Me-Lihn and Matt - December 18, 2008 - El Dorado Royale Tee & Nick- December 19, 2008- Barbados , WI Jamie & Duke - December 28, 2008 - Las Caletas, PV Terri & John - December 29, 2008 - Holguin, Cuba, Playa Costa Verde January 2009 Sara & Ron - January 3rd, 2009 - Riu Bachata P.P Becky & Sean - January 5th, 2009 - Riu Ocho Rios Andrea and Bo(Davematthews16)-January 7, 2009-Barcelo Maya Palace Ashley & Brandon (bakerisacat) - January 10, 2009 - Riu Palace Las Americas Kelly & Ron (KLC77)- January 10, 2009- Paradisus Riviera Cancun Erica & Chris - January 10, 2009 - Barcelo Maya Beach Jodi and Hal- January 11, 2009- Beaches Boscobel- Ocho Rios, Jamaica Erin & Martin - January 13, 2009 - EdenH Real Arena - Dominican Republic Kristy and Mike- January 16, 2009- Dreams Cancun Michelle and Steve - Janauary 18, 2009 - Dreams Cancun Julia & John - January 20, 2009 - Las Caletas, PV Kate & Bill (soontobeamrs) - January 23, 2009 - Playa Fiesta, Puerto Vallarta Tracy & Jeff (BC Bride2be)- January 23,2009 - Dreams Tulum Amy & Chad - January 28, 2009 - Barcelo Marina Palace, Varadero Cuba Amy & Brian - January 28, 2009 - Jamaica Lindsay & Jamie - January 28, 2009 - Grande Palladium Bavaro, Punta Cana Chantal and Sheldon -January 20, 2009 - Dreams Punta Cana February 2009 Andrea (Pug3636) & Alan - February 4, 2009 - RCCL Western Caribbean Cruise Garrett and Jaime - February 5, 2009 - RIU RM Palace, Playa del Carmen Kate (kleslie5) & Steve - February 6, 2009 - Playa Fiesta, PV, Mexico Christy (ccarmany23) & Mark- February 6, 2009- Hyatt Cancun Car., Mexico Nikki & Dean - February 14, 2009 - La Ropa Beach, Zihuatanejo, Mexico Jenny & Greg - February 28, 2009 - Le Méridien Cancun Resort & Spa, Mexico Kris & Joel - February 28, 2009 - Riu Montego Bay, Jamaica March 2009 Angel & Sanford - March 1, 2009 - Dreams Cancun Jess & Greg - March 3, 2009 Georgetown, Cayman Islands Michelle & Ricky - March 7, 2009 Riu Tropical Bay Negril, Jamaica Jamilah & Larence - March 21, 2009 - Montego Bay, Jamaica Tara & Hiram - March 23, 2009 - Sandals Grande Ocho Rios, Jamaica Lynn & Gareth - March 25 2009 - Sunset Jamaica Grande April 2009 Ana&Michael - April 1, 2009 - Dreams Los Cabos Mamie & Joshua - April 2,2009 - Bavaro Princess Kim & Chris - April 4, 2009 - location unknown at this time! Kerry & Graham - April 4, 2009 - Capella, Cabo San Lucas Whitney & Erik - April 4, 2009 - El Encanto Inn, San Jose Del Cabo Manney & Jamie- April 22, 2009 - Riu Santa Fe, Cabo San Lucas Selina& Artie-April 23, 2009- Occidental grand xcaret Nancy & Kenny - April 23, 2009 - Majestic Colonial Andi (CODestBride2009) & Reggie – April 24, 2009 – Las Caletas, Puerto Vallarta Leslie & James - April 24,2009 - Occidental Grand Xcaret, Riviera Maya, Mexico Michelle & Jeff - April 24,2009 - Meliá Caribe Tropical, Punta Cana, DR Joy & Erik - April 24, 2009 - Moon Palace Cancun, Mexico Diana & Anthony- April 25, 2009- Dreams Cancun, Mexico Savannah & Billy- April 25, 2009 Maya Tankah/Tulum, Mexico Jenny & Brad - April 25, 2009 Azul Sensatori Ali & Patrick - April 25, 2009 Cabo Surf Hotel, San Jose Del Cabo, MX May 2009 Shannon & Chris - May 2, 2009 - Gran Porto Real Resort, Playa Del Carmen, Mexico Beth & Jay - May 2 2009 -Dreams Tulum, Mexico Jaymie & Ales - May 4, 2009 - Dreams Cancun, Mexico Donna & Jef (dursula) - May 6, 2009 - CuisinArt Resort & Spa, Anguilla Wendy & Ivan - May 9, 2009 - Azul Sensatori, Mexico Kelly & Chris - May 9, 2009 - Unknown, Riviera Maya, Mexico Shannon & Kenny (Shay2679) - May 07, 2009 - the Royal PDC, Mexico Kelly & Joe- May, 13, 2009 - Dreams Cancun, Mexico Nyssa & Joel - May 13, 2009 - Gran Bahia Principe Tulum, Mexico Miranda & Colin - May 14, 2009, Melia Cayo Guillermo, Cuba Mylee & Andrew - May 14, 2009, Iberostar Quetzal/ Tucan, Mexico Marie & Scott - May 15, 2009 - Dreams Cancun, Mexco Meagan & Jeff - May 15, 2009 Dreams Punta Cana, DR Stacey & Derek - May 15, 2009 Punta Cana, DR Maggie & Tim (IslamoradaBride) - May 16, 2009 Islamorada, Fla. Meagan & Matt (CDNgroom) - May 20, 2009 - Playa Del Carmen, MX K & R - May 22, 2009 - Puerto Vallarta, Mexico Bianca & Chris - May 23, 2009 - Dreams Puerto Aventuras, Mexico Kristy & Chris (froggie1013) - May 23, 2009 - Villa Capri, St Lucia Tina & Nathan- May 23, 2009- Lucea, Jamaica Terry & Yamille - May 23, 2009 - Paradisus Riviera Cancun Jaime & Martin - May 24, 2009 - Puerto Vallarta, Mexico Carla & Mark - May 27, 2009 - Gran Caribe Real, Cancun, Mexico Lisa & Tom (mummergirl) - May 28, 2009 - Dreams Cancun, Mexico Melissa & Jason (missybee99)- May 28, 2009- Dreams Los Cabos, MX Jenny & Bryan (SoontobeMsKniss) - May 29, 2009 - Key West, Florida Erica & Brandon - May 30, 2009 June 2009 April & Michael - June 1, 2009 - Wailea, Maui, HI Monique and Derrick - June 5th 2009 - Riu Ocho Rios, Jamaica Hanna & Josh - June 5, 2009 - Grand Palladium Colonial Mayan Riviera, MX Pauline & Roger - June 6, 2009 - Grenadian by Rex Resorts, Grenada Amanda & Thomas - June 6, 2009 - Dreams Los Cabos, MX Carolyn & Michael- June 6, 2009- Gran Caribe Real Cancun, MX Crystal & Branko ~ June 10, 2009 ~ Grand Palladium, Riviera Maya, Mexico Ashley & Dave - June 11, 2009 - Valentin Resort, Riviera Maya, Mexico Sorcha & Shannon - June 12, 2009 - St. John's, NF, Canada Jen & Brian - June 12, 2009 - Azul Sensatori, Riviera Maya, Mexico Roe & Seamus - June 22, 2009 - Bermuda MarieSam & Tommy (msam007562) -June 26, 2009- Las Casitas Beach & CEA Center, Akumal, MX July 2009 Kim & Eddy - July 3, 2009 _ Iberostar Del Mar Stephanie & Robert - July 10, 2009 - Honolulu, HI Geralyn & Steve - July 11, 2009 - RIU Montego Bay, Jamaica Rosemary & Miguel - July 11, 2009 - Dreams Cabo San Lucas, MX Rachel & Scott - July 16, 2009 - Aventura Spa Palace, Riviera Maya, MX August 2009 Jacilyn & Joe (Jacilynda) - August 8, 2009 - Hotel Akumal Caribe, MX Monique & Eric - August 15, 2009 - Dreams Los Cabos, MX Karen & Dan - August 15, 2009 Tiffiney & Ryan - August 15, 2009 - RIU Vallarta, MX Michelle & Brent - August 19, 2008 - Wynn Las Vegas, NV Tiffany & George - August 22, 2009 - Dreams Los Cabos, MX September 2009 Marijke & Rob - September 1 or 2, 2009 - Parga, Greece Amy & Clint - September 11, 2009 - Cancun, MX Lisa & Gary - September 17, 2009 - Maui, HI Vicki & David - September 26, 2009 - Buenaventura Puerto Vallarta, Mexico October 2009 Natasha & James - October 7,2009 --RIU Palace, Cabo San Lucas Ashley & Dustin - October 17, 2009 -- Dreams resort and spa cancun Angela & Jason - October 20, 2009 - Majestic Colonial, Punta Cana Heather & Matie - October 22, 2009 -- Cabo San Lucas, Mexico Josie & Marko - October 24, 2009 -- Dreams Tulum Jenny & Matthew - October 27, 2009 -- Melia Caribe Tropical, Punta Cana, DR Emily & Kevin - October 28, 2009 -- Melia Las Dunas, Cayo Santa Maria, November 2009 Jodey & Simon - November 12th 2009 - Dreams resort and spa Cancun Carrie & Andy - November 13, 2009 - Beaches Negril Alicia & Rob - November 14, 2009 - Sandals Grande Ocho Rios Joanne & Mark - November 14, 2009 - Iberostar Grand, Mexico Mirna & Louis-November 15th 2008-Dreams Cancun Leslie & Gerry - November 16th, 2009- Majestic Colonial, Punta Cana Valerie & Ryan - November 21, 2009 - Dreams Cancun Resort & Spa Mary & Paul - November 28th 2009 - Puerto Vallarta, Mexico I am adding Dustin and Ashley October 17, 2009 At Dreams Cancun December 2009 Jen & Kenny - December 12, 2009 - Excellence Playa Mujeres Nadine & Jesse -December 30, 2009 - Dreams Huatulco Resort & Spa January 2010 Ginalyn & Jeff- January 2, 2010 - Cancun, Mexico Aimee & Theodore- January, 8, 2010 - Iberostar Tucan, Mexico Shannon & Lauchlan- January 27th, 2010- Puerto Vallarta Mexico February 2010 Melissa & Sean- February 10, 2010- St. Thomas USVI Linda & Ton- February 22, 2010- Costa Rica April 2010 Veronica & Patrick (vgirl17) - April 24, 2010 - Moon Palace, Cancun MX May 2010 Victoria & Eric- May 11, 2010- Excellence Riviera Cancun Resort Belle & Jean-Claude - May 27,2010- St. Kitts, B.W.I. Craig & Fiona - May 28th, 2010 - Moon Palace December 2010 Carla & Christoper (adias.angel) - December 11, 2010 - Riviera Maya MX