BlissfulMsMiranda

Oh I like the idea of a "honey-do" list ladies! I might have to take you all up on that one ... hmmm time to break out the wipe board for the fridge! It's not like he doesn't do ANYTHING around the house (I've made him sound like such a slob) .. he does the lawn and cooks his own dinner and lunches (but not mine because I'm a veg and make "special" meals). But yeah ... when it comes to picking up after himself ... he's not so hot about it. I'm just a really, really patient person (normally). And really, I fell asleep for most of the time I was waiting for him ... and was shocked and then pissed when I realized I'd been waiting for that long when I woke up!! Plus, I do know she's a chatter ... usually when he finishes his sessions she comes out and talks to both of us for 15-20 minutes afterwards ... she's a talker! He's going to keep seeing her ... and I told him that I would never ask him to switch simply because I'm being irrational. I have a problem with my hip and she's been trying to make me set up an appointment with her as well ... so I might just do that ... see how she is with me behind closed doors. :-p I trust Colin too much ... and even if she threw herself on him naked I know he's not going to respond or react ...

Wow, you're all so incredible to offer such stellar advice. Thank you all for caring enough to take the time to write everything you have! So, hubby and I did have a nice, long chat last night (nearly 2 hours worth of a chat) ... and it came down to more than just his hot physio chick. I also found out that, had I asked, I could have found out that she had dinner plans and changed out of her work clothes right after her physio with Colin and what I saw her in was NOT what she massaged in ... which makes me feel much better. It all started with Colin blurting out: "So, are you going to tell me what's bothering you?" Kinda of pissed like ... which made me a bit MORE pissed (for no reason of course). So I start going off ... and realize that no matter how hard I try, I can't stop from crying ... so I'm a blubbering idiot and as I'm rambling on I realize the crux of the problem....it's got nothing to do with the hot physio chick (who still kinda bothers me, but that wasn't what REALLY made me mad): I feel like Colin doesn't care. Like, I'm his freaking MAID. And as I was rambling on and mentioning specific things it became very clear to me that that's precisely what it was and that on Monday night when I was sitting there for 45 minutes waiting for him the reason I was SO mad was because to me it just seemed like he didn't give a sh*t ... like, how could he be THAT much longer and not ONCE think of me and the fact that I was waiting out there for him?! Then of course I brought up the fact that I do ALL the cleaning, like the entire house top to bottom, kitty litter, laundry, dishes (everyday, every night, all the time), load the dishwasher, empty the dishwasher, clean the shower etc. And I told him he's treating me like his worker ... I don't get a thank-you, no appreciation NOTHING. I don't even get a massage when I ask for one .. EVER. So, I told him to put himself in my shoes ... imagine he did EVERYTHING around me while I lounged on the couch (which is what he does) and then I didn't say shit about it? I said I didn't need a gold star or freaking candy, just a nice little "thanks" or a kiss on the cheek or something would be STELLAR. And it's the same in bed (sorry for details) .... I tend to give and give and give ... and well, I don't get much in return. And he said we'd been sliding in the sex department lately, which is true, and it's simply because it started to feel like WORK to me. There's no build up for me, no foreplay, he doesn't really touch or caress or kiss ... it's just ... look I'm hard! Stick it in your mouth/elsewhere! Kthnx bye! (sorry again ... ) So, yeah ... he said he felt like a real dick and when I brought all that up he realized what he was doing ... and he said that when he was with Katie he really had no idea of the time. Her clock int he room is busted and he takes his watch off for the massage and doesn't have his phone. And he said that when he DID realize the time his heart freaking skipped a beat and all he could think of was me sitting out there ... which I guess is nice to hear, but f*ck ... buddy ... 45 minutes?? LOL Oh well ..he's a man ... guess that's expected. Now, it's not ALL his fault ... I have my issues as well ... of course mine are all to do with communication. I've been feeling this way for quite awhile and I've kept my mouth shut because, well ... I thought I could deal with it. And that's what it comes down to ... I keep things inside so I don't cause waves ... but at the same time I'm beating myself up inside. So, I have to learn to open my mouth sooner rather than later ... He also admitted that we HAVE gotten into a routine where he knows if he walks away from a mess I'm going to swoop in and clean up without a word of protest and I told him I will NOT put up with that anymore. Not at all. And he said he'll try his best to help out in the cleaning department. And I said i was just drained ... tired ... exhausted ... from all the cleaning and keeping things organized etc. So that's why I pass out as soon as I hit the bed every night ... that and I don't wan to have to "work" more for sex!! LOL So, yeah ... I think that's pretty much it .. hehehe .... like I said, it came down to BOTH of us having issues and things we need to work out and work ON ... and it's not the first time I've brought up this lack of caring to Colin. And it sounds bad when I say it that way, but it's just that he doesn't ever show appreciation or anything ... like I have to ASK him if he likes a new shirt I bought ... he never offers up a "you look hot" statement .... ever. And I said that sucks and he has to give me that every once in awhile!! Oh and he was a bit upset that I don't mention his changing body with the workout he's been doing ... and of course I notice and it's awesome ... but I told him I resent his workouts because while he's bettering himself in the basement and working out, I'm f*cking sweeping and cleaning and organizing the upstairs that he left in a bloody mess for me to deal with ... so yeah ... I don't "appreciate" his workouts like I should because I feel like they're taking up time he could better use helping me clean up ... does that make sense?

We just mingled because it was just a big party at my parent's house in the country. And actually, a lot of our guests showed up REALLY late because there was a massive accident AND construction on the main highway up to the house! So, even if we wanted to do an entrance, we wouldn't have been able to! I think if you're planning a more formal wedding reception for your AHR, then go ahead ... if it's just going to be an informal party ... just greet your guests as they come in and make sure you mingle with everyone!

One of our guests got so hot (it was about 35+ degrees celsius), she took a dip in the pool ... in her dress!! What AHR for a Cuba wedding is complete without cigars from Cuba? In the room with the cupcakes and gifts we had my parent's big-screen hooked up to a computer with our professional pictures streaming: My grandmother with the children and the guests of honor - my parents donkeys and horses are right in their backyard, obviously behind a fence, but accessible by all the guests at any time! I love this shot of my parents: And some randoms so you guys can see my dress and shoes: And this is how my father treats his neighbors ... heheheh (they're actually really great friends): And that's it!! Unfortunately there weren't any shots of the bar that was set up outside.We had an open bar and it was decorated with starfish and tule and I made up a bar menu with was in a frame on the counter ...

Hehehe alright I've made you ladies wait long enough!! Here are a few shots from our gorgeous AHR reception in Alexandria, Ontario at my parent's house: These are the favours my aunt MADE for the reception ... they're boxes of almond candy thingies: Our custom cupcakes from Clever Cupcakes in Mtl: Our gifts and some of the food from the caterer: My father built the deck everyone was on specifically for the party. It's MUCH larger than what they had before: More to come....

Aw JOSIE thank-you so much. Really, you've been so insightful, just what I needed to hear. I actually feel quite calm at the moment, and I've been all twitchy and nervous for most of the day. But, the more I think about it, the more I think it'll be alright. And I do think it's good we've both had time to calm down and collect our thoughts ... I'll definitely keep you guys posted as to how he reacts tonight and how things go ... hopefully we won't be at it all night. We were supposed to go see a movie tonight, but he suggested we stay in and discuss things instead.... Thanks for all the good vibes and support girls ... xoxo

You ladies really are the best ... I feel so loved, thank-you all. I will try my best to cut the negative crap ... I tend to do that a lot (I blame myself for most situations too *sigh). I will definitely take nicmicj's advice and write a few things down ... it might also help us work out where this stems from, as I said I have no reason to be scared of him cheating, and I know that. I want to bring up the role reversal, but I'm afraid it will backfire; I'm in a VERY male-dominated industry (I work for a men's magazine as an editor and I'm an auto journalist so I test drive cars, attend drive events, go on business trips, and I'm usually the ONLY woman on any of the events). So, I have a feeling if I asked him how he'd feel if it were me ... he'd say he feels that all the time... and then I'd feel bad about feeling the way I do. I'm just a big pushover and I tend to let myself get stepped on and overlooked if it will mean someone else is going to be happy ... especially when it comes to my husband. Now, this might not always be a good thing ... and I think this might be the one and only time in our entire 9 years together that I'm going to "object" to something he's doing ... and it's scary.

Thanks ladies - I really appreciate the feedback. I was a bit shocked by her apparel after the session as well ... but I think she may have just changed AFTER the appointment (or so I hope) but I was too mad to bring it up or ask him ... but I will tonight. If she was dressed like that the entire time ... NOT COOL. And I'm glad we're going to talk about things ... but at the same time it makes me panicky. I hate confrontation ... like loathe it ... and I always feel like things will go badly and I'll just say something that will set him off or make him really angry at me (which has never happened before). I really do feel like a mental patient LOL thanks for making me see I'm not ladies.

Sorry girls, this is going to be a little long ... I'll try and make it as concise and comprehensible as possible though: Hubby and I got married a few months ago (May) in Cuba - best day of my life - and we've been together for 9 years (in December). Our relationship is phenomenal ... we rarely, if ever, argue because neither one of us is confrontational, which can be a good and bad thing. Anyways, the main "issue" with our relationship is the communication thing ... I tend to bottle EVERYTHING up and just let if fester because I don't want to upset anyone, especially him, and I think that everything and anything I bring up is going to cause a problem. So, I just keep my mouth shut. Not good. However, when things REALLY get to me and I feel like I'll absolutely BURST I tend to write him long emails explaining my feelings because every time I've tried to voice my opinions in the past I just end up crying like a big baby (really mature, I know ... but I cry for everything; when I'm nervous, when I'm sad, when I'm mad, when I'm anxious ... you get the idea). So here's why I think I might be a psycho: My husband, Colin, sees a physiotherapist. He started seeing her probably a little over 8 months ago. He had an issue with is IT band (he was a runner) and he could barely walk so he started seeing her. We've both been to physical therapists in the past (and he's seen women before). From the very first time I met this woman I felt jealous. It was such a horrible feeling. I met her after their first session and I just wanted to scratch her eyes out. She's young, pretty, knowledgeable when it comes to the body and health (something my hubby is totally into) and she's easy to talk to, very friendly. I told him how I felt right away and he made me feel like a big idiot for feeling that way, and even made me feel a little guilty for making HIM feel bad for finding someone who could take his pain away. So I shut up. Then a few months after that - and many physio appointments (they're actually massages, but not the oils and candles type massages) later, she recommends he does this deep breathing technique thing and she says we can do it together. However, hubby decides to do it alone with her. Now, this really irked me and got me going again. I think it was more the fact that he had this supposedly euphoric and enlightening experience with HER instead of me that really got to me. Now, fast forward to last night. Hubby has another massage appointment with Katie (physio chick) and he asks me to pick him up after he's done. His appointments are usually from 5:30-6:30 or 6:45 depending on if they start on time. So, I get to the physio place around 6:35 ... and nearly 45 minutes later (around 7:20 p.m.) Katie emerges, dressed in heels and a skirt, all dolled up with her hair done and a nice pink lack bra peaking out from beneath her shirt apologizing profusely because they "got to talking." Now, I don't think he's having an affair. I really don't. But, I just wanted to punch her in the face when she came out. Then Colin came out, also apologizing for being late ... they were nearly 45 minutes longer than they were supposed to be!!! I think what got to me the most was the fact that for those extra 45 minutes he didn't ONCE think of me and the fact that I was waiting for him. How is it that he was so engrossed in this chick that he could completely ignore the fact that I was waiting there all that time for him?? So, like an idiot, I let it fester last night. I was so f*cking pissed when we were driving home, I couldn't even look at him. But he wasn't aware as I am very good at hiding things. Instead, I wrote him an email this morning and he now wants to spend time tonight to discuss everything. Am I being stupid for feeling this way?? Never in my life have I been jealous of ANY girl with him. And I know he wouldn't cheat ... I just feel ... off about this woman. I don't know why. It makes me so mad to feel this way and to be so bloody unstable about it. Sorry so long ...

Hi ladies!! Just had to share that our AHR took place this past Saturday and it was phenomenal! I was so panicked about the weather because ... well .. it's been absolutely horrible in Montreal and the surrounding areas and I was just beside myself worrying that it was going to pour rain when we were planning on having over 80 people in my parent's backyard! However, it went SO well ... and I promise to have some pics up soon. I was so involved with everything I totally and completely forgot to take ANY pictures of the setup, but I'm hoping to track down a few shots from some of the guests. I just had to share because it was so utterly and completely perfect and it was so heartwarming to see all the people who showed up for our special celebration. I promise pics!!!!

I agree that we all like to talk about ourselves ... and I LOVE seeing all the different occupations and the cars you all drive (see occupation for why ... hehehe). ******************** What is your first name? Miranda How Old are you? 25 Where are you from? Born in Vancouver, British Columbia, but living in Montreal, Quebec. What is your occupation? Editor for AskMen.com, car specialist and auto journalist (test drive/write reviews etc.) Do you have any pets? 2 cats, Spooky and Jynx Where is your destination wedding? Melia Cayo Guillermo, Cuba What is your FH/Husbands name? Colin What is your favorite fruit? Kiwi What is your favorite movie? Cruel Intentions What kind of car do you drive? I get a new car every week (for testing), but our "family" car is a Subaru WRX What is your favorite book? Toss up between Intensity - Dean Koontz, and Vittorio - Anne Rice What is your favorite season? Fall What kind of music do you like? Anything and everything really ... Any siblings? Only child with one sister-in-law Where is your favorite place to travel? Cuba! Been 4 times ...though I love traveling anywhere really ... What year did you graduate high school? 2000 What do you do for fun? Read, watch television with DH, drive, try to write a novel (see I wrote TRY). When is your wedding? May 12, 2009

^^^ I would have to agree with Mrs. Amarillis there!!! ;-) Hehehe

Congrats and welcome!!! Santa Maria is GORGEOUS .... I've been to the Melia Cayo Santa Maria resort and it's stunning ... very isolated though. And be warned, it's a fair journey from the airport. Loved my resort though (Melia Cayo Guillermo) ... still on a gorgeous beach in Cayo Coco region, but not as far from the airport! Hehehe If you need any tips/tricks/advice or help ... feel free to give me a shout! Plus, check out the Cuba section to see which other brides have already been married in Melia Cayo Santa Maria ... ashey063009 just got married there actually ...she'd be the one to ask about all this! Happy planning!!!!

Just as all the other girls said: First off, deep breathe!! It'll all work out ... and we are all here for you sweetie!! Cuba is an amazing option (and, of course, I'm biased). I agree with the Veradero suggestion only because of the many flight options, however, if you're more interested int he setting/beaches etc. might I suggest the Cayo Coco area? Melia Las Dunas is a very popular location, and as such might be difficultt o book as it is ALWAYS being used for weddings. Melia Cayo Santa Maria is GORGEOUS - DH and I went there for our very first trip to Cuba as a vacation and it was STUNNING. We originally wanted to use that resort as our location, but it's pretty far from the airport (nearly a 2-hour bus ride ... and we didn't want to put our guests through that). Melia Cayo Guillermo (where we were married!) was the perfect happy medium. It's an absolutely gorgeous resort and the grounds are stunning. The food is incredible ... and the wedding coordinator Mary is just such a sweetheart and did everything perfectly. About the Mon-Fri weddings only ... I think it is because of the notary: They don't work on weekends. We had our ceremony at 5 p.m. on a Tuesday and then dinner on the beach at 7 p.m. NOTE: The beach at Melia Cayo Guillermo is too narrow for an on-the-beach wedding. We had ours at the end of the pier. I had a bit of a nervous breakdown when I was suddenly told that we couldn't have a "beach" wedding a few days before we were scheduled to leave ... BUT it still turned out perfectly and I wouldn't have done it any other way. For pics, check out my pic thread in my siggy. Cuba is a gorgeous option and you won't regret the change ... there are SO many options but I highly recommend sticking with the Melia chain. They are a bit more expensive (not as expensive as the Blau chain) but they are worth the extra. Management is great, staff is great, grounds are great ... overall ... PERFECT!!! Good luck with everything and know that you have plenty of Cuban brides on here who are willing to help out and offer advice, all you have to do is ask!!!

I have to say #2 and #7 are my favorites ... I don't know what it is about #7 but those extra embellishments are very, very cool ... And #2 just makes your body look ROCKIN' and the little train at the back is uber sexy ... Don't worry - you'll find THE ONE ...

Wow, those are gorgeous!!! I love the color combo. They look professional! Great DIY job you're a rock star!

Congrats Anandie!!! Welcome to the Cuba Bride club!! Happy planning my dear, and enjoy every moment ... it's wonderful from beginning to end (especially with BDW here to support and encourage!).

Aw, thanks everyone!!!!! I can't stop looking at them ... it's almost an obsession. LOL

I went through a bunch more last night and tried my hand at PhotoShop ... God that program is hard ... Anyways, here are a few more, tweaked by my hand, not the photographers!! LOL This is hubby getting ready to hit the beach the morning of the wedding ... one of my honorary bridesmaids snuck over to the room he was in and made sure the world knew who he belonged to that day ... ;-)

OMG those are gorgeous ... I love the one of you two walking. Your dress is stunning ... what an incredible shape for your body ... really, really, really gorgeous.

Wow Kate that's a crazy impressive AHR! You guys went all out! Love the decor and you putting everyone to work ... ;-) Everything looked gorgeous!!

Quote: Originally Posted by Jess beautiful Miranda! Do you have a devon rex?? My devon rex Maya looks exactly like yours if so- she is black also! Great cats Ooh another Rex owner!!! Actually Jynx is a Cornish Rex and she's chocolate brown (I upped the contrast on the shots to show the colors on the invite instead of the colours on the cat hehehe), but yes, Rexes are INCREDIBLE. We will definitely get another one in the near future ... Have you posted pics of your Maya in the pets post in "Random Thoughts"? If not ... get to it!!

As promised..... our trash the dress session!!!!! We had SO much fun doing this shoot ... really incredible. And I'm almost embarrassed to say I enjoyed the TTD shoot more than the wedding day (is that bad? LOL). Anyways ... there are just SO many good photos ... but these are the ones we've chosen for the moment ... I promise I'll continue to add to this thread ... Enjoy!!

TTD pics to follow in another thread!!!!

Alright ladies ... FINALLY I have some pro pics ... but these are just some teasers. Hubby is actually a photographer (does weddings, go figure) so our photographer (also a very good friend of ours, his daughter was our flower girl!) gave us DVDs of all our raw shots ... which is cool and all, but now we have close to 3,000 shots to go through and fix up etc. And what makes it even harder is that nearly all 3,000 shots are PERFECT. How much do you think it would cost me to get them ALL developed? :-p Alright, enough babbling on and on ... enjoy ladies!! More to follow!!