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has31

Plus One Debacle

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I agree that many people have no idea what it takes to plan a wedding (destination or not). If you haven't been involved in planning a wedding before, it's quite a surprise to realize all the little details. And I think most guys, in particular, don't have a clue LOL. I think back to a destination wedding I went to a few years back. I probably drove the bride crazy. Couldn't figure out if my boyfriend at the time was coming or not. Although I did book by the deadline as a single supplement to at least get that settled. We ended up breaking up and of course he didn't come. All for the best in the end. I met my fiancé at that wedding :D

 

 

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I'm starting to actually have this issue now and I haven't even sent out the stds. How does anyone even go about this issue? ... i understand the entire idea of taking a vaca Since people are spending their own money to attend.. so yeah why not bring someone with you. But what if the added guest isn't someone you even know.. why should they be added to your wedding guest count? ... then in the other hand it seems so rude to state hey I don't care who you bring but have that person entertain themselves while u attend my wedding....I'm so torn right now...

 

but really now how close you are to your wedding it shouldn't even be an idea to ask for a plus 1. If he now doesn't want to go cause he can't bring someone then he never really wanted to come to begin with. the invite he was suppose to rsvp to was to a wedding and not a group vacation. But most likely took the time to speak with whomever about it and they both decided to make it a trip for themselves vs. What u invited him for. Atleast it's the way I would take it rsvping super late and adding someone with him.

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This late in the game you have every right to say no to the plus one attending your wedding. They are definitely welcome to join your friend otherwise.

 

We had a groomsmen that lives in Mexico ask 3 days before we left to bring all his kids. While early on I wouldn't have had a problem not 3 days before!!! (He did have 9 months to tell me he wanted to bring them) I said no and didn't feel bad about it. Use any excuse you want - bills paid, resort has closed off changes, no more seats, etc.

 

That said, early on everyone was offered a plus one to the wedding. If I knew them or not. I felt it was the right thing to do as they were paying so much to attend our wedding. Thankfully I didn't have any wafflers for plus ones! Just the incident I mentioned above.

 

We also had people try to invite other family members we didn't invite lol. We also stood firm and said we'd consider it. In the end we said yes and they didn't come anyways sigh!!

 

Good luck

 

 

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Edited by calgarybride2015

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I personally would not travel to a DW alone, no matter how good of a friend. Weddings are supposed to be a celebratiom of love and i wouldnt feel as welcome or wanted if i was expected to travel to a different country alone. Waiting 3 weeks before your wedding date was a bit inconsiderate of your time and unless they have planned a wedding, they will not understand the labor of love it is. Good luck, hope it all goes well and no friendships are tainted.

Is there anybody that can intecept for you with all those stupid last minute questions? Mine are on website too and people still call me about dress code, spa prices, and get this...weather!!! So my sister in law is starting to call people and ne like "dude, dont bother bride with this...let me help you with or let me direct you to" it helps alot!! Good luck

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I have to confess that my fiance was a plus one at the DW where we met!  :o He came with a buddy. But he did know the couple and was very close to some of the other guests (he had been a groomsman at the best man's wedding, for example), so he wasn't a complete stranger, just not close enough to be invited. I don't know if he was a last minute addition, though... I'll have to ask!

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Looking back, yes, give people a +1. We didn't at first when we handed out the invites, but soon realized that it was unfair to ask people to travel alone, so we told them to bring someone if they wanted to, just to let us know. In the end most of them didn't, but I think it was the proper thing to do, to tell them to bring someone :)

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@has31  aww twin dates!  Is your wedding june 20th as well??

 

@vancouverpetunia  I just love how you guys met.  I really loved reading your story and also how awesome that you guys are doing a destination wedding.

 

We have a lot of stragglers and we've budgeted for 55people at the moment we have 46 confirmed and paid with 5-7 people that are deciding.  So at this point, I don't care, good if they come, and if they don't then it's ok too.  I've been obsessing the past couple days and realized I can't let it take over my entire days following up and this and that!

 

@becks98  I sent you a pm with my email address!  thank you for sharing your pre-departure info :)

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Not sure what happened. I thought I already replied....

 

@@veryvalentine Yep, mine is also June 20th! How cool!

 

@@vancouverpetunia As of right now the guest is coming solo. He had asked multiple times via text (before I posted this) and I just told things had been finalized and there weren't any more seats but I would let him know if anything worked out in favor of an additional guest. We are currently working on getting another table but I haven't heard back from the venue yet. Given the proximity to the wedding, not sure if the other person will be able to make it but we will see. 

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I just LOVE this website!! Just when you think no one understands, you read that other brides have gone through the same thing.

 

My final deadline for RSVP was yesterday, and my MOH just added a Plus One last night of a guy she just met about a month ago. Initially, I was upset and told her he can come to Jamaica and the free wedding activities, but not the wedding cocktail hour, reception, and group excursion activity. In addition, my Fi and I are paying for everyone's airport transfers. "Frustrating"

I know she just didn't want to come to Jamaica alone.

 

I know I am whining, and eventually i felt bad and said yes, bring him along, but a little part of me is still a little perturbed. I'm just going to suck it up and enjoy the wedding weekend. No since losing a friend, when I am marrying my best friend.

 

Also I agree, don't know why we created a wedding website when guests ask us questions almost everyday. : - )

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