Oh ladies! I turn to you for your amazing advise and assurances(hopefully) and maybe some commiseration!
Our wedding is going to be November 2016. We already had a guest list made and sent out STD's but there is trouble on the horizon possibly.
FI has a large extended family, about 21 first cousins. We are paying for this wedding ourselves and part of the reason for a DW is to save money/get the most bang for our buck (I sold the FI on it by pointing out we could spend 13-15K on ONE day or on two weeks in the Caribbean).
We want to get a house in the next two years so need to be careful with our money.
In the early stages of planning FI told his mother we weren't going to invite everyone and just put it out there as a warning. I KNOW this is not her job or obligation to do this (although it might have been nice to have her help on this one thing since we are going to be paying for her trip. Again for all the haters out there, it is not her job, I know this!) So we just found out this weekend that she hasn't mentioned it to anyone.
So now FI feels we need to let people know so they aren't expecting to get an invitation. While we are both not on Facebook he wants to go back on so we can send a note to everyone letting them know its going to be a small wedding only. We are inviting his one Aunt who is his godmother and her two kids that we are close too, and one other cousin from a different family that FI is also very close too(who is currently living in another country) and thats it for the extended family on his side. I know I know, inviting only some and not all is asking for trouble but FI is pretty adamant on this and seems willing to take on any disgruntled family. While we had no plans to have an AHR after we get home I brought up that perhaps we should let them know we will have a big family BBQ/picnic in celebration when we get back, perhaps this will sooth any grumblings.
My question is, how do you go about letting family know that invites are limited and they won't be getting one? Is sending out an email/message on facebook ok? Is there a better method?
Agh!! I really hate this. Its not that we don't love his family, we do, they are awesome its just we want something small with just the nearest and dearest. And we only have a limited budget. I don't think I could handle more then 50 people(I'm hoping for 30), I get all stressed and flummoxed with lots of people around. Thankfully my family is small so the issues with them are for totally different reason, LOL.