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BethanyW

Vacation Vs Best Friend's Wedding

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My bestfriend won't come to my wedding because we are having it in Mexico. She is too scared that she is going to be robed, taken hostage, or whatever else. My heart was broken for months over it. And since she told me she wasn't coming she has had no part of any of the planning and has barely talked to me.

 

I can definitely sympathize! Similar thing happened to us and the friendship is no longer. There are going to be a lot of people that don't agree with what you want to do. I've said it before - you will really find out who your friends are. Yes some people have legitimate financial hardship and really aren't able to travel, or other circumstances and for that you have to be understanding. It's one of the trials fo a destination wedding for sure. But if someone is going to wreck a friendship over it, then is it really worth it? You are entitled to be happy about getting married in a tropical paradise. Don't let anyone bring you down over it. Life is too short. I came too close to finding that out the hard way!

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@@CurlyKristen that is awful! She won't go solely b/c of your location? Terrible. Shame shame on her. My mother felt the same way about me going to Mexico on vacation, and I said look at it this way, look at all the people and tourists who travel to Mexico everyday, month, year. Those people come back safe and sound! It's only the bad stuff you hear about in the headlines, and those are rare occasions. And if you stay on resort, with tourists, with people you know, chances are nothing will happen to you! If you go to a not so well known area, a sketchy part of the city, or if you hang with the wrong crowd, or looking for trouble, then you'll find it. But resorts are pretty Westernized, they cater to tourists and keeping everyone safe, she shouldn't have anything to worry about!

But if she still won't go, then that's too bad and it's her loss. It's probably still upsetting and nobody can convince you otherwise, but hopefully we can help a little bit :)

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@@CurlyKristen I know how you feel! My really good friend isnt coming to my wedding not because of the location but because shes pregnant [which is more understandable] but i hadn't talked to her in 2 weeks since she told me and of course shes telling everyone I'm not happy for her and I am mad at her so i have to make her feel better about not coming when i am the one whos hurting 

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Unfortunately wedding plans and friendship don't always mix! I agree that she may just be caught up in the whirlwind of planning, found a venue she can't live without and then is thinking that is the ONLY possible date she can ever have. Maybe once things settle down a bit she'll have a bit more perspective. Either way, she shouldn't take it personally if you can't make it. That is rule #1 of having a destination wedding, you have to come to terms that not everyone is going to be able to make it, and whatever their reason is; financial, obligatory, work, school, scared, ANYthing, you can't hold it against them, as it's their decision. I appointed 2 MOHs because my best friend is starting school and it's an intensive 10 month program. She's not sure she'll be able to take a week off, or if theirs an important exam or something.. it's the way it goes! She'll be a part of every other aspect, and I'd still get her a bridesmaids dress for the at home reception.

 

People have lives of their own and at the end of the day you gotta do what's right for you!

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