My best friend got engaged in January, and I'm thrilled for her and her new fiancé. As long as we have been friends I have dreamed of the day I'd be lucky enough to stand beside her as MOH on her special day. (I think it's important to note I am one of two MOH for this wedding. She has two best friends and we have both been asked and accepted)
She is looking into booking venues for this year, through the summer months and into the fall. She amazingly found one venue (which she loves) with an opening, but she hasn't booked it yet. I guess she has had a very difficult time trying to find a place she loves with any availability for this year, although there are other options, which are more expensive.
So now here comes my problem, I will be out of the country on the same date the venue is available. I have a very expensive trip planned, a trip I planned for, saved for, and booked 6 months ago. The trip includes non-refundable deposits on two resorts, and plane tickets already purchased. The location we are traveling to is in high demand, and completely booked already (which is why I booked over a year in advance of our vacation to be sure they had availability). The bride has known about this vacation since before she and her fiancé were engaged (4 months before) So now she has asked me to change my vacation for her wedding, and I'm not sure what to do?
I could understand if I was travelling locally or wouldn't be loosing A LOT of money I'd already deposited or used for the plane tickets? This was a very calculated vacation. We saved for a VERY long time to make it happen. I researched our destination to find out exactly where we wanted to stay. I coordinated time off with our work schedules, and coordinated 3 flights each way to get the best deal and times to make everything perfect.
I'm having a difficult time deciding the best way to approach the situation. I will be devastated if I can't attend her wedding and stand beside her on the big day, on the other hand I sort of can't believe she has asked me to make the changes/cancellations. I understand that weddings are amazing important "once in a lifetime" events. But this vacation for me and my bf is really the same amazing important "once in a lifetime" event that we planned for ourselves.
I have already contacted both resorts in an attempt to see if there is any wiggle room for our dates. So far they have nothing available but will let me know if there are any cancellations, and there would have to be cancellations at BOTH places that match up. So it seems impossible for this to happen. (I will then have to pay extra to change 6 different flights with 3 separate airlines) I have also told her that I completely understand if she decides to have the wedding when I can't be there. It's her and her fiancé's day and I DO NOT want to stand in the way of her having her dream wedding.
So we are at a stand still. My feelings are if she really wants me to be there, pick a different date. She is not financially invested or obligated in any way yet. Or continue with that date and know that I can't loose out on my investment. I believe she assumes (even though I've told her otherwise) that if she picks that date I will cancel/modify my trip.
Thoughts? Suggestions? Anyone had anything similar happen? Help!!!