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Unresponsive Bridesmaid


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#21 Krystal084

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    Posted 09 August 2013 - 05:31 AM

    Because when you've spent so many years trying to be there for someone, and doing everything for them for their wedding, and hope to see the best in someone, it stands to reason that you'd deserve the same treatment on SOME level- which I knew she wouldnt be there 100 %, but never expected her to say yes and then do absolutely nothing.
     



    #22 KK2013

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    • Wedding Date:December 7, 2013
    • Wedding Location:Paradisus La Esmeralda- Gabi Club
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    Posted 09 August 2013 - 06:07 AM

    Originally Posted by Krystal084 

    Because when you've spent so many years trying to be there for someone, and doing everything for them for their wedding, and hope to see the best in someone, it stands to reason that you'd deserve the same treatment on SOME level- which I knew she wouldnt be there 100 %, but never expected her to say yes and then do absolutely nothing.
     


    No matter what the circumstance, it is always hurtful to have people not give what you have.  It's definitely disappointing.  Just keep your chin up and focus on the people that ARE doing for you and making you happy =)



    #23 NJBride2014

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    Posted 12 August 2013 - 06:35 PM

    Originally Posted by Krystal084 

    Because when you've spent so many years trying to be there for someone, and doing everything for them for their wedding, and hope to see the best in someone, it stands to reason that you'd deserve the same treatment on SOME level- which I knew she wouldn't be there 100 %, but never expected her to say yes and then do absolutely nothing.
     

    I completely agree it sucks when you realize that you just aren't getting the same treatment back.  The friend that I asked to be my bridesmaid 2 weeks ago by sending her a nice card and gift still hasn't even acknowledged it not a phone call or text.  She has spoken to other friends about it but not to me I just don't get her she doesn't have to commit now but at least give me a call and let me know you received it.  I think after being friends almost 29 years I deserve that much.  Her wedding is in a month and I get she is busy with stuff but a text takes all of one minute and like I said she has talked to my other bridesmaid about receiving the card and gift so she has the time.  Its so sad to me that she could treat me like this but I guess its an eye opener.  I'll take her silence as a no and I'll go to her wedding and wish her the best but its going to be hard to go back to being close friends.


    43 guests plus bride and groom.... ;)

     

    Engagement Photos - http://www.bestdesti...y/#entry1827276

     

    Planning Thread - http://www.bestdesti...y/#entry1860630


    #24 Jeanna1

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      Posted 12 August 2013 - 10:52 PM

      Woah that sad to hear! But good for you that you're still going to the wedding, I think that's the best and only thing you can do. She must be very busy organizing the whole thing indeed. Good luck!



      #25 MrsTobeD

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        Posted 13 August 2013 - 04:08 AM

        Maybe she is overwhelmed by her own wedding and planning a trip doesn't seem right at the moment? I would give her a call and ask her if she received your mail, at least she would be embarrassed by her lack of response and you might get an straight answer before ruling her out. Good luck!

        I completely agree it sucks when you realize that you just aren't getting the same treatment back.  The friend that I asked to be my bridesmaid 2 weeks ago by sending her a nice card and gift still hasn't even acknowledged it not a phone call or text.  She has spoken to other friends about it but not to me I just don't get her she doesn't have to commit now but at least give me a call and let me know you received it.  I think after being friends almost 29 years I deserve that much.  Her wedding is in a month and I get she is busy with stuff but a text takes all of one minute and like I said she has talked to my other bridesmaid about receiving the card and gift so she has the time.  Its so sad to me that she could treat me like this but I guess its an eye opener.  I'll take her silence as a no and I'll go to her wedding and wish her the best but its going to be hard to go back to being close friends.



        #26 momgowdy

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          Posted 13 August 2013 - 07:06 AM

          Lesson #13 in Oprah's Life Class:  When people show you who they are, believe them.

           

          Who has she shown you to be during your friendship?  I think deep down you are hurt, but not really surprised.  You just wanted her to be someone better.



          #27 bluefrog33

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            Posted 13 August 2013 - 07:51 AM

            It's tough when you have a baby that young and I would have thought the same thing before I had a kid "if she wanted to be there she would be there". BUT a baby is hard to travel with and you can't just hand over your kid to someone when they are that young to anyone willing to take care of it. It just doesn't work that way.

            #28 NJBride2014

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            Posted 13 August 2013 - 08:36 AM

            Originally Posted by momgowdy 

            Lesson #13 in Oprah's Life Class:  When people show you who they are, believe them.

             

            Who has she shown you to be during your friendship?  I think deep down you are hurt, but not really surprised.  You just wanted her to be someone better.

             

            You hit the nail on the head i'm just hurt at how she is handling it.  I can take her saying she can't do it but to completely ignore me just goes to show me how little she thinks of our friendship.  A week before I asked her she was calling almost everyday to talk about nothing or her wedding now crickets.  I've always known her to be a little selfish I mean we've been friends for 29 years I know how she operates but I didnt think that when it came to something as big as my wedding that she would be this way.  I did want her to be someone better  I was giving her the benefit of the doubt.  But I'll be fine I have my 3 sisters and another best friend that are more than happy to be a part of my day and are eager to help so I'll focus on that.  Thanks.


            43 guests plus bride and groom.... ;)

             

            Engagement Photos - http://www.bestdesti...y/#entry1827276

             

            Planning Thread - http://www.bestdesti...y/#entry1860630


            #29 Krystal084

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              Posted 15 August 2013 - 12:02 PM

              Wow, I can honestly say I relate to everything you've said.  It was the exact same for me.  All during her wedding, she would call to "catch up" and complain about things and once my wedidng came around, I had to beg her to answer her phone so I could get what dates would work for her for what events.  As it turns out, she RSVPed no to the wedding on account of having a 3 month old (understandable), but then my bridal shower weekend came and went and not a word from her only for me to sign onto Facebook that Sunday and see pictures of her at the beach.

               

              I tried so hard to see the best in her over the past few years, and when I look back now, all she ever gave me was excuse after excuse. That quote sums it all up perfectly:  When people show you who they are, believe them.

               

              I understand that she may be busy planning her wedding but that is no excuse for ignoring you when you send her something of importance, and in such a sweet way with the gift and all.  Some people are just way too involved with themselves, and sad to say, those ones are going to end up the lonely ones in life because as selfless as we all are, everyone eventually gets tired of being used.
               



              #30 MrsK

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              Posted 17 August 2013 - 08:42 PM

              It can be upsetting when a friend can't make it, but in the end it's all about you and your fianc©. If you're there and he's there your good.




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