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friend vent... what would you do?


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#11 Jessica

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    Posted 09 October 2007 - 11:57 AM

    Aww, I'm not going to offer advice because I'm sort of in the same place (owed my by my ousin but she's not paying up). It sucks! I hope she pays up soon. But definitely don't do her hair again until she does so.

    It's just sad when the people you are closest to let you down like this.

    #12 robindepaula

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      Posted 09 October 2007 - 12:02 PM

      That totally sucks, Shel! I have had family + friends do that to me with my photography services. I have gotten to where I really do not want to do sessions for them unless it is a gift from myself or husband.

      #13 jajajaja

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        Posted 09 October 2007 - 12:09 PM

        I don't understand why people use the excuse "short on cash" for not being a decent person and doing the right thing. I have a friend like that and it seems like the "short on cash" excuse has been working for a few years. I would pay for dinner/drinks or whatever activity we were doing and then she would turn around and buy something for herself. I finally just stopped paying and let her not go to dinner or out with us for drinks.

        I think it's important to bring this issue to light with your friend-that is if you want her to remain one. I think it's slightly unfair to be upset with someone and never clue them in (even if they should already know why your upset, but some people are just oblivious.) I would be upfront and honest that way she has the ability to correct her actions. If she just doesn't get it after you confront her, then you at least know how she really is and you can act accordingly from then on.

        Good luck Shelley. Friend issues are always so touchy.
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        #14 A10CalGal

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          Posted 09 October 2007 - 12:50 PM

          Well, I definitely understand where you are coming from. That was crappy on your friends part - she could have been honest with you upfront & allowed you to decide whether you wanted to front her the money for her hair.

          In any case, it seems you are locked in this passive aggressive "i'm not calling her" thing, and you've got to get out! It's just toxic for you. This is something I have to remember often, and I have a quote for you - "resentment is like taking poison & waiting for the other person to die." Basically - you need to tell her why you are pissed & ASAP! Take these feelings off of your plate & put them where they belong, on hers.

          I hope you can bring yourself to talk to her & let her know how you feel.

          #15 gkashmira

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            Posted 09 October 2007 - 12:52 PM

            Yuck - She sounds like a user. If she was "a little short this week" then why is she asking you to do her hair? It's like going to the salon and being like, yes I would like a color and cut. Oh wait, I can't actually pay you...


            ummmmm.... not cool!
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            #16 MsShelley

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              Posted 09 October 2007 - 12:55 PM

              Quote:
              Originally Posted by Christa
              Well, I definitely understand where you are coming from. That was crappy on your friends part - she could have been honest with you upfront & allowed you to decide whether you wanted to front her the money for her hair.

              In any case, it seems you are locked in this passive aggressive "i'm not calling her" thing, and you've got to get out! It's just toxic for you. This is something I have to remember often, and I have a quote for you - "resentment is like taking poison & waiting for the other person to die." Basically - you need to tell her why you are pissed & ASAP! Take these feelings off of your plate & put them where they belong, on hers.

              I hope you can bring yourself to talk to her & let her know how you feel.
              you are totally right, but I really wanted to give her time to see if she would actually call me...

              #17 MsShelley

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                Posted 09 October 2007 - 12:57 PM

                Quote:
                Originally Posted by gkashmira
                Yuck - She sounds like a user. If she was "a little short this week" then why is she asking you to do her hair? It's like going to the salon and being like, yes I would like a color and cut. Oh wait, I can't actually pay you...


                ummmmm.... not cool!
                right, and she has a regular hairdresser she went to before she met me... so, I know that she doen't leave there without paying...

                #18 MsShelley

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                  Posted 09 October 2007 - 01:04 PM

                  so there is just so much more to the story with her..... I could go on and on.. I am really just thinking that a friendship with her is not going to be possible... My sister just called and she was supposed to be helping with my shower and won't call her back!! Am I wrong to just think she is all about herself and a sh$tty friend

                  #19 DreamsTulumBride

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                    Posted 09 October 2007 - 01:47 PM

                    Is she really going to the wedding? ...has she officiallly reserved plane + hotel? Maybe she is doing this to you because it is costing her some $$$ to go to your wedding ... maybe ! I don't know... A good friend would of told you before that she couldn't pay at the present moment, no?

                    #20 MsShelley

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                      Posted 09 October 2007 - 01:48 PM

                      Quote:
                      Originally Posted by DreamsTulumBride
                      Is she really going to the wedding? ...has she officiallly reserved plane + hotel? Maybe she is doing this to you because it is costing her some $$$ to go to your wedding ... maybe ! I don't know... A good friend would of told you before that she couldn't pay at the present moment, no?
                      well, she says she is going, but I'm not buying it... no passport, no dress, no reservation yet.... LOL!!!!




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