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friend vent... what would you do?

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#1 MsShelley


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    Posted 09 October 2007 - 10:23 AM

    ok, I hope this isn't too long, but here it goes...
    I am so tired of being taken advantage of by a certain friend of mine.. Mostof you all know that I do hair, mostly on the side now because of my full time job..
    Anyway, I have this certain friend wh up until 3 weeks ago called me on a daily basis, just talking asking about the wedding, blah, blah, blah...
    So 3 weeks ago today, I was off and she asked me to do her hair, so of course I did it.. The whole time I was doing her hair, she was saying ok, when I am done I will write you a check, whatever...
    So, don't think I am doing hair to make money off of my friends, because that is the last thing that I do...
    So, anyway we get done her hair and she runs out the door, claiming how late she is picking up her daughter, and she will drop money off to me on her way out that night... So 3 hours later I call her to ask her how she likes it... She loves it and says well, I am just a little short this week...
    And I should know better, this is the 4th time she has done this to me... I know people are a little short on money sometimes, but come on at least pay me for the freakin color that I spent MY money on!!!
    And to put the cherry on top the freaking cake, she has not called me or anything since that night, how convenient... I just really feel so taken advantage of.... What would you do?

    #2 boscobel

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      Posted 09 October 2007 - 10:26 AM

      Wow Shelley, that really sucks. I hate it when situation like that happen. If she is a close friend, I would call her out on it and be honest about how you feel. If she isn't that close, I would think of it as money well spent to get that person out of your life. Good luck with whatever you decide!

      #3 *JillD*

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        Posted 09 October 2007 - 10:28 AM

        Thats really shitty! She obviously knew when she came over to have her hair done that she didn't have the money, she could have at least paid you for the dye and then maybe asked if it was okay to pay you later for the rest. The fact that she's done it to you so many times really makes me mad and I feel like she's taking advantage of you. And to not call you since then? Thats not right. I don't know how you are or how your relationship is with her, I know I would WANT to say something to a friend like that, but I am also the kind of person that HATES conflict and tries to avoid it, so I might just avoid that friend permanently.

        #4 TammyB

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          Posted 09 October 2007 - 10:29 AM

          Wow that sucks. Did she pay you in the past? I say ask her about it and if she ever asks you to do her hair again I would demand payment first, BY CASH because who is to say it's a good check.

          #5 NYJen

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            Posted 09 October 2007 - 10:29 AM

            Ok, well first of all, don't do her hair again unless you get the money up front for the color. You can always say, "I'm a little short this month, I can't lay out the money for your color. Sorry."

            I know that money can cause all kinds of problems between friends and family, so this can be tricky. I would ask her again soon for the money (since it's been 3 weeks now, I'm sure she or her hubby have gotten a paycheck since the last time she saw you.) If you feel funny asking, just call her up and make some small talk, then sneak it in there at some point, "Oh yeah, btw, do you have the money for your hair from a few weeks ago. I can come by and get it from you later today."

            Sorry you have to deal with this!!!

            #6 foxytv

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              Posted 09 October 2007 - 10:36 AM

              oh geez, Shelley. That SUCKS!!! You know, my hairdresser is a friend of mine and while Tom was gone, there were times I was tight on money .. but I would always CALL before my appt to make sure I could have her hold me check til payday if need be. And then I would always overtip tremendously because I know it can be an imposition.

              People need to not take friends for granted that do those kinds of things for you. But so many people do take advantage of the friendship or take it for granted far too often.

              How good of friends are you? Either really good and she expectes it or not nearly as good as she would like to have you believe and she is truly using you.

              I can't give much advice, except to say that you are "booked up" from now on when she calls. That will get the message across loud and clear and she will either pay-up or go somewhere where 'being tight on cash' isn't an option, you know? But I do think you need to probably speak up to make it clear that is NOT the way friends do business with friends.

              #7 MsShelley


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                Posted 09 October 2007 - 10:41 AM

                we are really good friends, or so I thought.... I just think that it really sucks that she hasn't called me... I haven't purposely called her to see if she would pick up the phone and call me.... She is suppose to e going to the wedding, but now I really don't even want her there... I would never treat anyone like this... Truly, if she was up front with me and asked me to hold her check or just give me money for the products I used, than I would have been totally fine with that, but this isn't the first time... I hate to lose her as a friend over this, but I really just feel like this is so much deeper than money and she is using me...

                #8 boscobel

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                  Posted 09 October 2007 - 10:42 AM

                  I think you should def call her. If she is a close friend, maybe she just feels guilty, or maybe she still doesn't have the money and feels stupid. You never know what is going on in someone else's head, but if you feel she is a good friend and you don't want to lose the friendship, then I see nothing wrong with you seeking her out to talk.

                  #9 starchild



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                    Posted 09 October 2007 - 10:52 AM

                    Ewwww...I hate when people do you wrong then you end up to be the one feeling bad for wanting to ask for what's yours in the first place!!

                    What would I do....the old me would harrass her and try to make her feel stupid. These days I probably wouldn't say anything until she called me, at which time I would let her know she's shady. It's a waste of energy to deal with ingrates like her and look at it this way - it only cost you the price of hair dye to see her true colors and (possibly) get her out of your life. Maybe it's for the better?

                    In any case I definitely wouldn't do her hair again, just on general principle. If she calls you with an apology take it from there and proceed with caution, I don't trust those types.

                    #10 MelissaH

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                      Posted 09 October 2007 - 11:04 AM

                      That really sucks Shelley

                      She obviously doesn't value your friendship as much as you do, which is balls...

                      I think if it was me in your situation I'd probably call her back and ask for the money again, and if she makes an excuse I'd probably ream her out (using several choice words), hang up, unplug the phone so she can't call back (not that she probably would anyway...but just be safe) and then cut my losses.

                      But don't listen to me, things like that are probably the reason why I don't have many friends heh

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