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Need some support... Father not going to destination wedding


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#11 JessiTaylor

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    Posted 02 September 2012 - 03:28 PM

    Originally Posted by maridr2012 

    I agree with the others. He'll regret not going but in the meantime, I suggest make an itemized list of the budget to have a wedding at home in ur area, and include EVERYTHING u can think of. Then do the same for ur DW. present him with both budgets and tell him unleashes willing to pay for the size able difference just to have a wedding at home, then ur going with the DW. I think he will have change of heart very quickly!

     

    oh goodness i woudlnt do that if i were her. shes said its not only cheaper, its their dream to have the DW. thats going to seriously backfire if he then says "ok ill pay the difference. so you'll have it in your hometown now right?". then theyd have to say that they were bluffing haha



    #12 Peach

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      Posted 02 September 2012 - 05:14 PM

      Originally Posted by JessiTaylor 

       

      oh goodness i woudlnt do that if i were her. shes said its not only cheaper, its their dream to have the DW. thats going to seriously backfire if he then says "ok ill pay the difference. so you'll have it in your hometown now right?". then theyd have to say that they were bluffing haha

      Oh yes, good point. The dream is another matter completely. Totally the most important thing. Good point.

       

      All you can do is make it clear that you really want him there. Maybe he thinks if he says he won't go, then you will change your mind. Be clear that you want him there, but are going to have the DW regardless. Be true to what you want... I think THAT is most important. No regrets on your part!



      #13 wellthen02

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        Posted 03 September 2012 - 05:37 PM

        Thanks so much for the kind words ladies! I feel so much better know that some people have went through similar situations. I have spoken with him (as of yesterday) and he says its still a no go. I explained to him cost issues as well as personal issues but he is being stubborn. His reasoning was that he had a courthouse wedding why can't I do something similar and spend our money on something else. I explained to him that was NOT AN OPTION because it is OUR WEDDING and OUR DREAM. I left it at that because I was not trying to go there with my dad. He wishes us the best but, is not attending. I am not pushing it further. With all the immense stress of planning a DW, idk if I should be giving this issue my time... *SIGH*. I am still excited for my day and so is my FI. Isn't that all that really matters in the end? I am looking into doing a AHR but, once again, not sure if I want to deal with all of THAT either.



        #14 Tulumbride2013

        Tulumbride2013
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          Posted 04 September 2012 - 04:25 AM

          Keep us updated! A courthouse weddng?!? No way!haha, don't stress this and enjoy planning!

          #15 agm04

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            Posted 04 September 2012 - 01:57 PM

            What a bummer.  :(  You're doing the right thing though.  Chin up!  You only get married ONCE, and it's his decision - if his mind is made up, that's on him.  You should still get your dream wedding!



            #16 Ryves

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              Posted 05 September 2012 - 01:30 PM

              Its unfortunate about your Dad. Try to stay focus because a wedding is really about the bride and groom.



              #17 JennyBenz

              JennyBenz
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                Posted 14 September 2012 - 09:06 AM

                Hi there!

                I'm so sorry to hear that your dad has made that decision. I understand the situation, I feel if it was 100% up to my mother, she wouldn't attend either.

                No words can console you I feel, b/c he should be the most important man there besides your FI on your wedding day. I'm sure you did- But did you discuss this with him and explain how much it's affecting you and how hurt you'll be to get married w/o him there? Maybe if you put it into words for him to read, it will hit him a bit harder. I don't want to say "guilt" him into it, but maybe he doesnt' realize how much it will affect YOU on your wedding day. Although you are sticking with what you both really want & have that perfect wedding, express it won't be if he's not there. If you've already tried to talking to him, then you have to just say to yourself "Ok this is what he wants, and this wedding is what I want". It's a very tough situation, b/c sure a bunch of us have had close friends or family not attend surprisngly, but this is more than that. My heart goes out to you, and I can only hope he has a change of heart between now and then.






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