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Brenners

At Home Reception (AHR) Do's and Don'ts

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I agree completely I am having an AHR because my grandparents are not able to travel and would like to celebrate with us as well as others that aren't able to attend. It has nothing to do with gifts! I am very offended by Etiquette's remarks!

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Onward and upward ladies! Let's not let one person's remark get us in a negative mind set! My AHR is just three weeks away now and boy do I have a lot to do still! Need your help. My MIL wants to throw a night before dinner(kind of like a rehearsal but we aren't rehearsing anything lol) which i think is really sweet and am really looking forward to it. I want to thank everyone who is in our "wedding party" for all their help and our immediate family. MIL also wants to invite all of the family that traveled from out-of-state which turns a small intimate dinner to about 45 people! Is this what is "usually" done for rehearsal dinners? Seems like a lot of money for my MIL. what do you think?

 

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You must be so exctied three weeks will come fast! I think it's a nice idea to have the dinner before and if your MIL wants to host thats great but if it's going to be around 45 people thats almost like having an AHR, just my thought! I think I would just have a small intimate dinner if you are going to have one. I haven't even thought of having a dinner before the AHR.
 

Originally Posted by deannamarie85 View Post

Onward and upward ladies! Let's not let one person's remark get us in a negative mind set! My AHR is just three weeks away now and boy do I have a lot to do still! Need your help. My MIL wants to throw a night before dinner(kind of like a rehearsal but we aren't rehearsing anything lol) which i think is really sweet and am really looking forward to it. I want to thank everyone who is in our "wedding party" for all their help and our immediate family. MIL also wants to invite all of the family that traveled from out-of-state which turns a small intimate dinner to about 45 people! Is this what is "usually" done for rehearsal dinners? Seems like a lot of money for my MIL. what do you think?

 



 

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Hey Deannamarie,

 

That is alot of people.  Typically rehearsal dinners are just those in the wedding party but if your MIL wants to pay to have all of those family members involved, then I say let her.  The more the merrier, right???  lol
 

Originally Posted by deannamarie85 View Post

Onward and upward ladies! Let's not let one person's remark get us in a negative mind set! My AHR is just three weeks away now and boy do I have a lot to do still! Need your help. My MIL wants to throw a night before dinner(kind of like a rehearsal but we aren't rehearsing anything lol) which i think is really sweet and am really looking forward to it. I want to thank everyone who is in our "wedding party" for all their help and our immediate family. MIL also wants to invite all of the family that traveled from out-of-state which turns a small intimate dinner to about 45 people! Is this what is "usually" done for rehearsal dinners? Seems like a lot of money for my MIL. what do you think?

 



 

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Originally Posted by Brenners View Post

 

Hey Deannamarie,

 

That is alot of people.  Typically rehearsal dinners are just those in the wedding party but if your MIL wants to pay to have all of those family members involved, then I say let her.  The more the merrier, right???  lol

 

 

 

That's what I thought too. Especially since there are only 80 guests at our AHR. lol Oh well that is her gift and it is a generous one!

 

 

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1.  Budget.  What amount are you looking to spend since you will have just spent quite a bit of money on your DW?  Did you include this in your overall wedding budget?

It has a separate budged from our DW.  My FI & I are paying for our DW.  My parents are paying for the AHR... right now it looks like the AHR budget will be around 15k.

 

 

2.  Type.  What kind of AHR are you planning?  Is it formal or informal?  How long will it last?  Will you also have a dance after the reception?

 

Our AHR will be formal... probably about 4 hours.  We will have a DJ/ dancing.

 

3.  When.  How long after your DW are you planning the AHR?

 

Hoping for exactly 2 weeks after the DW... no later than 3 weeks after.

 

4.  Food.  Are you having a buffet or a formal sit down dinner?

 

Formal sit down dinner.  :o)

 

5.  Clothes.  What are you wearing to your AHR?  Your wedding day attire or something else entirely?

 

Not completely sure yet... I know I will be wearing a white gown, but I don't know if I'm going to wear my wedding gown or get a different dress.

 

6.  Invitations.  Formal or informal invitations?  We are thinking about having it in the small town where I grew up and many people just put an announcement in the local paper for people to attend but then it is difficult to determine the amount of food you need.

 

Formal invites... this might be a DIY project for me.. not sure yet, depends on how much it will cost and how many we will end up needing.

 

7.  Photographer.  Are you hiring a professional photographer for the day?

 

Yes!

 

8.  Cake.  Are you having a traditional wedding cake for the AHR?

 

Definitely having a big wedding cake.. we're not getting to be creative enough for our DW cake and we both have a big sweet tooth.. esp for cake!

 

9.  Decorations.  What kinds of decorations are you having for your AHR? 

 

The venue we're most likely going with is gorgeous, so we won't need a whole lot of decor.  We will be having nice centerpieces.. not sure what else!

 

10.  DW Photos.  Are you going to have these on display and if so, how?

 

Yep!! Will definitely be playing the DVD of our ceremony and showing pics.

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Budget: Hoping very low but my parents and FI's parents are covering everything and pretty much plannig everything. I just make the final decisions :)

Type: Informal -- We are from a very small town (we live in a bigger city now) So I decided I wanted a 'country' feel to my AHR, a family friend of ours has a huge barn that they keep spotless (there has never been a single animal in the barn) and a lot of surrounding land so we are going to have our AHR there  we plan to hire either a dj or a band they usually use when they have gathering there

When: 3 weeks after wedding

Food: I loooooove pulled pork bbq (carolina style) so we are having a pig pickin'!! With other buffet style foods.

Clothes: I may wear my dress for the very beginning so that all my friends and family that weren't able to make it can see me in my dress but then i will change into a more comfortable white dress.

Invitations: Informal that will be sent out the day after the DW by a family member back home that invites people to come celebrate our recent wedding with us - No RSVPs required.

Photographer: Not completely sure but I doubt it

Cake: I am thinking about having mini cupcakes in all types of flavors

Decorations: Maybe--but not a huge deal since we will be in a barn

DW Photos: Will def be on display still figuring out how though

 

I wanted my AHR to be something fun and something I don't have to stress about - - I am pretty excited about it!

 

 

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Here's the rundown:

 

Budget: $1000 max. I wasn't trying to have another wedding, but the budget is creeping up.

Type: Very informal, but nicely put together. It's an all-white party. We're renting a room in a church gym.

When: Saturday, Aug. 27, 2011 for 4.5 hrs.

Food: African, Jamaican, and American foods. Lots of light appetizers, some heavier foods for buffet dinner, and a dessert bar.

Clothes: I'm wearing a traditional Ghanaian dress. My DH will be wearing the male version (He's Ghanaian).

Invitations: Sent off already. We basically got one of our photos from the wedding, used an invitation template, and plugged and chugged. RSVPs are required by phone or on our wedsite.

Photographer: None, but there will be a photo booth.

Cake: Basic sheet cake from BJ's

Decorations: Our wedding decor plus the following --> All white linens and babies' breath as centerpieces. (See photo inspirati below)

DW Photos: Playing on screen throughout. We'll also be featuring our video clip before our entrance the the full length during dinner.

 

Have some other cool ideas brewing, like a wedding museum (all the stuff from our actual wedding laid out), bringing a laptop for our online guestbook, and having choirs sing. I'm not as into it as the wedding, and I'm a little burned out, but I'm excited. Especially for my dress!

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I haven't really put much thought into the AHR yet.  My mom will not be attending our DW so she is trying to turn our AHR into a wedding.  It is quite exhausting just telling her over and over that we will not be spending a wedding budget on an AHR and that our AHR will be very informal and on a much smaller budget.  We are saving for a house and my mom is on a fixed income (my dad died earlier this year) so where she thinks the money for this large extravaganza is going to appear is beyond me.  All I know is that her nagging is making me avoid planning an AHR for as long as I can put it off!

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